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Original poster

Help me avoid the bloody elf!

13 replies

Busytizzy · 14/12/2019 20:28

DD9 has just announced she's ready to write her letter to Father Christmas. What's the only thing on her list? A sodding Elf on the Shelf. There is no way in the world I'm signing up to that. What can I say to dissuade her?!

OP posts:

Lunafortheloveogod · 14/12/2019 20:30

Elf’s only come to children who need an extra eye on them for being cheeky?

I’m sure there’s 100 elf excuses..there better be.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 14/12/2019 20:30

She's too late for one this year, as they have already been assigned to other children

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 14/12/2019 20:34

He can't give an elf away, you can't give people as gifts that's slavery. Father Christmas gives toys and books not living creatures.

00100001 · 14/12/2019 20:37

Too late for the of to come now. They’re all sent out in the 1st. The rest are making toys?

CherryPlum · 14/12/2019 20:42

The sleigh is already being packed and toys all sorted by this point so it's too late.

TitianaTitsling · 14/12/2019 20:42

Like Hermione Granger you believe in free elves and not slavery so you have the elf a sock!

imfreeezing · 14/12/2019 20:44

overheard in Asda today: the elf has had to go back to the North Pole to help Santa get all the presents ready

TitianaTitsling · 14/12/2019 20:44

Gave not have!

TakeMeToYourLiar · 14/12/2019 20:47

Read her Harry Potter, tell her you don't believe in enslaving house elves

TakeMeToYourLiar · 14/12/2019 20:47

Snap @TitianaTitsling

Original poster

Busytizzy · 14/12/2019 20:50

Great suggestions, thanks! We're actually reading Goblet of Fire at the minute, and I tried the SPEW argument, but she's having none of it. She reckons she'd going to pay it, because it'll be like Dobby

OP posts:

Mylittlepony374 · 14/12/2019 20:53

The elf book actually says they disappear on Xmas Eve for the year. So she can't have one from Santa on Xmas day. It's against elf rules.
I know this shit because one fucking fucker of a family member bought my kid one.

happypotamus · 14/12/2019 21:00

titiana that is the perfect answer, you are a genius. I have a 8 year old who has been asking for an elf on the shelf for weeks and I don't have the time or inclination to think up elf mischief every night. I hope she asks again soon so I can tell her I, like hermione granger, don't believe in enslaving elves. I am also tempted to buy one now, hide it until about the 22nd, do 2 nights of the nonsense, then on Christmas Eve give it a sock, tell DDs we are setting it free and get rid of it quickly. The only drawback is that DD2 is 5 and doesn't know about house elves so wouldn't get it.

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