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Original poster

DD9 broke her collar bone and I sent her to school on a spoon of Calpol!

145 replies

JeSuisPrest · 03/12/2019 16:11

DD (9) fell out of bed last night at midnight (fast asleep, not messing about). She complained of a painful shoulder and was pretty upset. She could move both arms but one was obviously painful. She can be a bit of a drama llama so I made all the right noises, gave her some Calpol and she settled after a while. It was agony this morning and I had to help her dress. I said we would go to the local walk in straight away, but she had an event at school this morning she didn't want to miss and said she wanted to go in. If it was still painful she would tell a teacher. I got the call at lunchtime to say she was very upset. I took her to the walk in - broken collar bone. I feel like the shittest mum in the world.

Please make me feel better and tell me about times when you've not believed your children were ill/injured and packed them off to school with a dose of Calpol and the time honoured phrase "The teacher will call me if I need to come and get you" ringing in their ears... 😳

OP posts:

formerbabe · 03/12/2019 18:09

My ds is usually the boy who cried wolf! One morning before school, he complained of feeling sick...I was convinced he was just trying to get a day off school. Sent him in and school office called me half an hour later because he'd thrown up

safariboot · 03/12/2019 18:12

Hey, your DD was the one who wanted to go to fun stuff instead of seeing the doctor! You would have taken her straight away.

FVFrog · 03/12/2019 18:12

Mother of the year award here for not realising my daughter had a broken wrist on THREE separate occasions....last one needed surgery to straighten. All 3 were quite innocuous incidents fell off monkey bars, slipped over on wet grass and fell off micro scooter. She is now 20 and survived and is hyper mobile (we now know).
It happens, don’t worry about it, but do be prepared for it to be brought up on many occasions! Hope your DD makes a good recovery, collar bones can be tricky.

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Aridane · 03/12/2019 18:13

Feel better now, OP?

smemorata · 03/12/2019 18:13

My daughter fell off a swing and broke her arm when she was two. I only realised when the babysitter said the next day "I think she has a broken arm". Oops.

RudolphTheRedNosedTwatCat · 03/12/2019 18:16

DHs mother did this to him when he was about 8. She waved his arm around, sent him to school and he had broken his collar bone. She didn't give him a look though.

My DS, came home from school saying his arm hurt. It wasn't swollen. I assumed he was just whinging because I'd walked to pick him up and he didn't want to walk home. I sent him to school the next day. He came home from school still whinging about it. I strapped it up. The morning after it was swollen. So I took him to A&E. he'd broken his wrist. So yours wasn't as bad as me because I'd made him sleep for two nights before seeking help.

Also, when DS2 was little, he hurt his foot play fighting with his brother. I took him to A&E. they said there was no break and to encourage him to walk on it. So I did that. He was in a lot of pain but I kept telling him to keep walking on it. Telling him it wasn't broken. Not to keeping whinging as there's nothing wrong with it etc. Six weeks later I get a letter in the post saying they'd reviewing his X-ray and there was a break in his foot. But if he was walking normally then to leave it. I felt so guilty making him walk on it when it was actually broken.

You're not alone OP.

Bluerussian · 03/12/2019 18:18

Bless her. All's well that ends well, don't worry about it JeSuisPrest. You were not to know she had fractured her collar bone, bad bruising can cause awful pain and stiffness and it could have been that.

Supersimkin2 · 03/12/2019 18:18

I had to go to Granny's Birthday Tea - and make the sandwiches - when I couldn't stand from stomach pain. DM spent the afternoon reading the paper while I laid the table etc etc, hissing at me to stand straight.

As I was wheeled into surgery later that day (appendix) I heard the A&E doc having a massive go at DM for not bringing me in earlier. Brilliant Got a new nightie out of that one

StillMedusa · 03/12/2019 18:20

Took DD2 (6) to A+E because she had dislocated her elbow ..again..on the monkey bars. This was a regular occurence as she has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (not diagnosed til years later tho).
They put it back, Xrayed it nd found she had a hairline fracture that was older... we had no idea.

Then eldest DD used to tell us her 'heart hurt'. Bit of a drama queen so used to give her rennies as assumed it was indigestion.
Nope.. also has EDS and a heart problem Now on meds for life...

It happens..and we always feel guilty!

HappySonHappyMum · 03/12/2019 18:20

My DS broke his elbow while he was AT school and they didn't bother to call me or get him checked even though he's fallen from a climbing frame...

ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 03/12/2019 18:20

Not my child but my mum. Shuffling around the house, huffing like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, moaning every so often for dramatic effect, or so we thought. Me, my dad and sister (all adults) assumed she was being attention seeking as usual and mostly ignored her.

We felt a bit bad when it turned out that the cancer had come back and gone metastatic.

In our defence, she really was a complete drama llama!

BillywigSting · 03/12/2019 18:20

A friend of mine in secondary school walked around on a broken leg for a week.

It apparently was initially just a sort of crack in the bone that was sore but as he was a skateboarder he thought it was just badly bruised and maybe a bit sprained.

One jolt and the crack split. They could tell it had started to heal and rebroken by the X ray.

His mum was not at all remorseful and simply claimed he shouldn't have cried wolf so much in the past and people might have believed him. (she had form for this kind of thing though and he's very very low contact with her now)

reginafelangee · 03/12/2019 18:22

Drama Llama - I mist remember that one.

OP I'd probably have done the same as you. Try not to worry about it too much.

Andypromqueen · 03/12/2019 18:23

My dh once jumped about on his mums bed and fell off and hurt his arm. He was crying and saying it hurt but she just told him off and sent him to bed for being rowdy (all the while he was shouting and crying).
It turned out the next day it was broken. He’s never forgotten it and neither has she!
I too probably would’ve sent my dd in if she said she was ok. If it makes you feel any better I once accidentally locked my 9 yr old DS in the car (in boiling hot Spain) while I nipped into the shop. He didn’t want to come in and so I left him and told him to come in the shop if he wanted to - what I didn’t realise was that the hire car had automatic central locking and he couldn’t get out (I was used to our shitty old car at home!) The sales assistant was on the phone and I ended up being in there for about 5-10 minutes. When I got out he was banging on the window, covered in sweat and crying. I’ve never gotten over it - it’s probably my worst memory - even worse than my dad dying tbh! Still feel guilty to this day.
He was absolutely fine btw (he’s 21 now!)but obviously it could’ve been fatal. Very hard lesson learned - I know how you must feel OP, don’t be too hard on yourself just learn from it.

RuffleCrow · 03/12/2019 18:29

Wow, that's absolutely crap and i'm not here to make you feel better. You knew she was in agony. You need to face up to the reality not look for people prepared to tell you it's ok

You'll be very lucky if the school haven't passed this on to childrens services tbh.

can you take a parenting course? Or maybe one in basic human empathy?

Michelleoftheresistance · 03/12/2019 18:31

I remember an Erma Bombeck article (showing my age, this must have been the mid 70s) years ago, saying something like "be not the first on your street to rush a case of constipation to A&E, nor the last to ask the chemist about a compound fracture".

It's a busy family thing.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 03/12/2019 18:33

@ Michelleoftheresistance I loved reading Erma Bombeck!

Michelleoftheresistance · 03/12/2019 18:34

You'll be very lucky if the school haven't passed this on to childrens services tbh.

Oh what nonsense. Child said she was in pain to school staff, school called mum, mum acted immediately. This happens with kids, sometimes it's nothing, sometimes it's something, teachers know this.

Raphael34 · 03/12/2019 18:38

@pingponggo unnecessary comment, but I hope you feel a bit better about putting me down, tit 😂😂😂

RuffleCrow · 03/12/2019 18:42

Mum knew her child was in agony and sent her to school with broken bones @michelleoftheresistance. You must live in under a rock if you think school staff don't report children coming in to school with untreated broken bones. Stop reinforcing the myth that any of this is ok.

It's only because mn is seen as being a boden wearing bubble that people are prepared to laugh off a mother knowing her child was in 'agony' and doing fuck all about it.

Raphael34 · 03/12/2019 18:45

@rufflecrow agreed. The disturbing thing is is that the mother dismissed the child crying in agony because apparently there’s been other occasions when she’s been in so much pain she couldn’t get dressed which she successfully ignored

Kim82 · 03/12/2019 18:46

My dd walked round for a week with a broken wrist when she was 6. Someone jumped on her when she was on a bouncy castle, she cried and was as she has always been a drama queen I thought she was being a princess asking me to pass her drinks, etc. She then didn’t mention it again after the first hour or so. Fast forward a week and she fell and landed on it, the scream she let out was horrific, she then told us that it had been hurting all week. So, although she could move it and there was no swelling or anything we thought we’d get it checked out. Had an X-ray, it was broken and the doctor at a&e gave us the side eye and asked when she had injured her arm as it hadn’t been done that day...oops, must have been the bouncy castle incident.

Punxsutawney · 03/12/2019 18:49

When Ds (now 19) was five years old and in year 1 he broke his collar bone during morning break at school. Unfortunately when I picked him up his teacher told me he had been crying all day because she thought he was coming down with a cold, she briefly mentioned a fall but said it was not significant.

Ds did moan that he has some pain but he didn't seem too bad. Two weeks later we noticed that he had a lump and bruising on his collar bone and mentioned it to the gp when seeing him for something else. He gave us a form for an xray and said go and get it done when you get a chance. It tums out little Ds had broken his collar bone two weeks previously. We felt terribly guilty. When I mentioned it to his teacher she said she had told me about the fall her words were 'I did tell you so I have covered my own back'. Ds was fine, horrible for him but no lasting damage.

SendCoffeeASAP · 03/12/2019 18:51

My Mum is a paramedic, and when I was 8 I was on a bouncy castle and I came off saying my foot hurts. No obvious trauma just landed funny and hurt my foot. She tells me to "put a cold compress on it" as were the ways back in the day. Imagine her horror when 2 weeks later I needed surgery to repair the very misaligned break in my foot! I seem to remember that was the month we also got our first dog... coincidence? I think not. (I clearly won in that scenario)

Michelleoftheresistance · 03/12/2019 18:51

A broken bone, one, and the OP was about to take her to the walk in centre when the child said no, she was ok to go to school. As the OP explains.

Where she was with staff/first aiders/full supervision at all times, who would call Mum if necessary, which they did. Children's Services wouldn't give that a second thought. Trying to scare someone who's posting here feeling guilty and looking for support achieves what?

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