Sister in law

[Hat50]

Hi I'm new to this . Well to be brief my SIL doesnt like me ,and the feeling is mutual. She is in England at the moment(lives abroad) and is going to Spain for IVF treatment . She has been doing this for about 2 years. This time she says her hubby wont go with her to Spain-although he is in England with her. She has asked my hubby to go with her. I told my DH that her own DH should go with her . I have said I would not be happy if he went as I strongly feel that her own DH should be supporting her .Despite this he is still going. Is it wrong for me to be furious even though I have told him my thoughts and feelings.

If you liked her would you mind him going?

It is wrong. You have no right to interfere in how your DH supports his sister, provided he’s funding the trip with his own money.

No I wouldn't as her husband should be going with her .They want the baby so they should travelling together and he should be supporting her. She already has her mum going with her. This is his second marriage he is a lot older than her .

Forgot to add as well SIL s hubby will not be doing anything in particular whilst in UK anyway ..Whole point of them travelling from so far was to go to Spain for treatment.If he cant support her now what does the future hold ..

Maybe they just want to spend some time together?

Aside from her husband not stepping up what is concern about your DH going to Spain with his family? Guessing you won't be going and you were not asked?

My DH spent all last weekend with them .No wasn't asked and would not go anyway. Lots of things have happened in past and I feel SIL has always been trying to separate us .Interfering in our life. She clicks her fingers and DH jumps . After DH has spent time with them he always comes back with a changed attitude towards me and our children. Still feel thou that SIL should be going with her own hubby . That's the whole point of coming over ..

Urm.........if she is going for IVF, might she not need a contribution from her OH?

Yep ..exactly would have thought so ... it's all a bit wierd .. I feel they all a bit secretive ..not very transparent . She had travelled up from London last weekend and stayed in hotel SIL and MIL didnt even come and see grandchildren considering they have come all the way from abroad . Spent whole weekend shopping instead ..

I think it's probably a situation that if you don't particularly like each other she may seem to be doing this to annoy you. But maybe all she needs is some support and her brother is who she would like by her side?
Alternatively she may be a manipulative person who is doing this to try and upset you.
Either way if your DH is going and won't be convinced otherwise I wouldnt bother wasting your energy and try and just let this one slide. If ,however, she asks him to go again explain it makes you feel second best and he shouldn't be putting you in that position.

Hi there thankyou for that .. that's exactly how I feel..second best .... and I have told him that . He just keeps saying that's my sister so whatever my feelings are I almost feel that they haven't been considered and been dismissed. From my past experience of her she is manipulative . Think flights have been booked etc.. already now as well .Will have to stop wasting my energy on this .sound advice.. thanks . My hubby is not speaking to me now .