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Original poster

Wwyd? child sport related

67 replies

Bunnybigears · 19/11/2019 17:52

DS2 aged 9 currently swims competitively and plays hockey and cricket for his city. His swimming coach wants to move him into a very competitive squad based around creating future Olympians. This would mean training 4 weekday evenings, 2 weekday mornings and a weekend morning. No holidays to be taken outside of the summer break which is just 4 weeks of August, 100% of sessions to be completed any sickness needs to be verified by a Dr. This would essentially mean it would be impossible to continue with cricket. Hockey we could just about manage to continue. DS wants to do it even if it means giving up cricket. DH thinks he is too young to commit so much to one sport plus the impact it will have on the whole family in terms of having to take him there and back, restricted to August holidays etc. I have no idea what to do for the best but feel DS could resent it in future if we dont let him at least try this new squad. WWYD?

OP posts:
Diy2019 · 19/11/2019 17:54

I wouldn't deny him the opportunity if that's what he wants.

Clangus00 · 19/11/2019 17:58

If the coach thinks he’s good enough to he classed as a future Olympian...I’d be supporting him all the way!
Good luck to him!

senua · 19/11/2019 18:10

The time input for serious swimming is bonkers. Don't get sucked down that route, the whole family suffers. Chances are he won't make it as an Olympian anyway (he may, but the odds are against).
Stick to team sports which teach him much more about mutual cooperation and friendship.

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Kittykatmacbill · 19/11/2019 19:21

If he wants to do let him try, he could well resent it if you don’t. If doesn’t want to continue that’s fine but don’t stop him.

MusicallyChallenged · 19/11/2019 19:47

Let him. But start teaching him how to get there and back. Bus or bike rather than car!

EstebanTheMagnificent · 19/11/2019 20:06

Do you have other children?

lljkk · 19/11/2019 20:10

It's not a now & forever thing... he can try this & if he comes to dislike it he can drop out at any moment (make sure he knows that). He's not letting anyone down if he decides in future he doesn't like this any more. I'd take it one day at a time.

The key is your son wants to try it, so I'd go with that.

Aragog · 19/11/2019 20:10

How will this fit in with the needs of your other child/ren and your family as a whole?

SonEtLumiere · 19/11/2019 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justajot · 19/11/2019 20:26

What's the success rate in terms of children who start who get to something like an international competition?

NotBadConsidering · 19/11/2019 20:32

Your DH is right. I’d look for another coach, this is a massive red flag for poor coaching ability.

Booboostwo · 19/11/2019 20:34

It should be his choice whether he drops other sports, concentrates on one and puts in the work. I don’t think you should be deciding on his behalf that he should do limited swimming because he should do cricket instead.

However, you can say that, as a family, you cannot commit to supporting that kind of intensive training if you are not able to get him there and back, adjust your days to the training and give up in holidays.

Original poster
Bunnybigears · 19/11/2019 20:44

SonEtLumiere he is 9 American Motivational times only start at 10

OP posts:
Wilmalovescake · 19/11/2019 20:50

Do you have other children? What input do they get in terms of time and money and opportunities?

bloodywhitecat · 19/11/2019 20:53

No. I have seen many, many kids pushed by parents and coaches at this age and by the time they are 15 they are nowhere to be seen.

Wandastartup · 19/11/2019 20:56

Team Bath?

Original poster
Bunnybigears · 19/11/2019 21:24

To answer a few questions my other DS plays football and cricket he had the opportunity to swim competitively but turned it down as he doesnt enjoy individual sports.

In terms of impact on the family he already swims 5 times an week so it's only an extra 3 sessions 2 of which are before school so will only impact me and DS2 as DS1 gets himself up and to the bus by himself and DH will still be in bed by the time we get home.

It's not Bath.

I'm well aware he probably wont get anywhere with swimming but I'm just worried about not letting him try.

OP posts:
egontoste · 19/11/2019 21:34

What level of success has this coach had (both in the past and now) with training internationally successful swimmers? Has he already trained any Olympic swimmers? How many current squad members are successful at regional, national or international level right now?

nolongersurprised · 19/11/2019 22:07

This is nuts. I would find a new coach.

Before you even consider sacrificing another sport he loves and your family holidays look up the fastest swimmers in your region and nationally for children aged 9-12 years. Then compare them to the swimmers that make to national teams as adults. The names will very rarely be the same. And I would ask the coach how many Olympic swimmers he’s trained from primary school, using this intense method,

Success in swimming later on seems to be predicated on talent (which he clearly has), growth during puberty and motivation and drive. He could train 7 days a week for the next five years and be effortlessly beaten by someone who’s grown taller and stronger with the pubertal growth spurt. I’ve seen this happen recently with a boy at school. He was breaking national records in primary school but is being easily beaten boys who have had massive easily growth spurts. His mother is encouraging him to bide his time but he’s become disillusioned and lost his interest.

The motivation and drive is hugely important but not at 9. It’ll be hard to maintain that intensity and drive throughout his whole childhood and stick to it in his late teenage years when the Olympic scouts will genuinely show some interest.

I would find a new coach, swim 4 days a week, keep working on technique and keep up the other sport and decide whether to narrow his sporting focus based on what he wants to do after his pubertal growth spurt. If he chooses swimming as his sole focus later on then it’ll be with added maturity and cross over fitness from other sports.

Trewser · 19/11/2019 22:12

Your DH is 100 percent right.
The time input for serious swimming is bonkers. Don't get sucked down that route, the whole family suffers. Chances are he won't make it as an Olympian anyway (he may, but the odds are against).
Stick to team sports which teach him much more about mutual cooperation and friendship
Also this

I have a dd who sounds similar. She did the swimming for 2 years, it nearly killed us all. She got utterly bored and exhausted and gave up other sports that she was really good at. Luckily she gave up swimming, went back to her team sport and is doing exceptionally well. She doesn't miss swimming at all, and quite frankly neither do I.

BackforGood · 19/11/2019 22:26

I think your dh is right too.
He is 9 for goodness sake.
If I had 3 dc, I wouldn't arrange my life around one of them. Of course it impacts.

0hT00dles · 19/11/2019 22:31

I think it's up to him to decide.

I've done it. 7 times a week training with gym on top. It was hard work.

I've said I won't let my dd do it but she's showing signs of being a natural swimmer. But it will be her decision. If she wants it, we'll support her. She has her other activities which she is more passionate about but she's 5!

The things that need to be taken into account are all the galas/extra training/ travel for galas/ hotel stays etc. cost as well needs to be factored in.

But let him choose what he wants to do. If he's passionate and wants to do it, he'll put the effort in. Time will tell

NotBadConsidering · 19/11/2019 22:56

Any coach who thinks a 9 year old is a potential Olympian is deluded and bad at their job.

Any coach who thinks a 9 year old should sole-specialise on one sport so intensely has no understanding of all the research showing how detrimental that is to long term health and success and is bad at their job.

Any coach who wants to insist a 9 year old maintains a level of commitment such that a doctor’s certificate would be required for any absence has no business being involved in the coaching of children.

It’s not up to him to decide at all. It’s up to you to protect him from idiot coaches, overtraining, and having the joy sucked out of him. He may want to do it now, but what you’re describing is a path to misery all round and the complete opposite of what actually breeds Olympic-level athletes.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 19/11/2019 23:05

Watching with interest as I also have a 9 year old who is pretty talented at 3 different sports.

We are currently probably not doing quite enough for any of them for her to really reach her full potential whilst nearly killing ourselves to do what we are doing in the hope that eventually she will decide which one she likes the best.

Luckily the one she probably loves best is very strong on encouraging other sports. (The main reason being that it is non weight bearing and it is important for the best development of bones for kids to do weight bearing exercise.)

Actually - that is a thought - would the whole weight bearing / non weight bearing thing apply to swimming?

BackforGood · 19/11/2019 23:34

Well said @NotBadConsidering