Do you stop at traffic lights?

[Blackredblack]

This morning I was out with dh. We stopped at the traffic lights. The road was pretty dead so one car each either side of the lights. Everybody else crossed the road while lights were still red. I started to feel really, really anxious and just desperately wanted to cross but my dh held me back. He’s reasoning being there were lots of children around and by crossing while lights were red I’d be setting a terrible example.

I do have PTSD and severe anxiety so I can’t go outside alone but even with support I massively struggle with traffic lights. I hate standing there, especially if I can see other people crossing.

Dh thinks my reaction is extreme and ds agrees with him!

Do other people wait for lights to change to green or do you cross if you safely can?

I always wait for the lights to turn green. I don't know anyone that doesn't.

I cross if it's safe to do so

I was very confused initially but I assume you were a pedestrian? Yes I'll cross if I can safely, I wouldn't if there were young kids waiting or if it's a complicated junction. And at the moment I just don't because I'm very pregnant and very slow.

@Leeds2 even if there's nothing coming??

What is it you hate about standing there?

It depends on the crossing and the conditions whether I'll cross independently.

If it was definitely, obviously safe, I'd cross if the lights weren't green. But if there are children around, or I'm not familiar with the junction, I always wait. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a plonker, but I'd much rather that than getting knocked down, or contributing to someone else being. Plus you are actually meant to wait, so it makes sense to do it!

I always wait for the green man if I've got kids with me or if there are other kids around, usually wait if I'm on my own too - I'm at the crossing anyway and it only adds a minute if that.

If your reaction is due to your PTSD then it's kind of irrelevant how extreme it is compared to someone without PTSD. Having PTSD means your reactions to certain things will be different and more intense.

If it's obviously safe then I cross, by if it's a crossroads with multiple directions to be checking them I'm more likely to just stand there even if it's probably safe (was knocked down when I was 14 by a car mourning the pavement so I'm a bit more wary).

*mounting

Ffs, apologies, I misread the OP. Thought it was about jumping traffic lights if you were driving!
I do tend to wait as a pedestrian, but wouldn't if it was very quiet.

If there's no cars then I will cross at red.

I cross of safe but if there are children waiting I wait too. My daughter always waits, though she was shouted at by a woman on a mobility scooter for waiting and partially blocking her way ( a simple ' excuse me ' would have worked). I do hate it when cars stop and wave people across - it's not always safe the other way and kids start to think everyone may stop.

Well your reaction is quite obviously extreme, you can't think everyone panics and gets anxious at traffic lights? Most people cross when it's safe, green man or not.

When driving? If course always wait.
When walking, if road is visibly clear, I always go if by myself. If I have baby with me I'd wait though

I wait for the green man because I have mobility issues (although you wouldn't always be able to tell) so I couldn't speed up if a car suddenly came out of nowhere.

It depends. If I use them a lot I get to know the light sequencing, so know when it is ok to cross, or if it wouldn't be safe. I tend to wait if there are small children around.

Depends. If it’s a quiet road/long straight road/cars only coming in one direction/cars go slowly on that road then I’d probably cross if nothing was coming. If it’s the type of crossing where I’d have to make a run for it if a car appeared, then I almost always wait.

I'm so confused as to whether you were a pedestrian or driver.

Sorry! Yes, as a pedestrian. Should have made that clear.

Due to my PTSD I don’t like people looking at me and rather bizarrely I feel if it’s safe to cross and I don’t then the people in the car will be staring and wondering what an idiot I am for just standing there.

It’s so strange, I can’t really explain it.

Also apologies if what I write doesn’t make sense. I have no secondary school education and am completely self taught so struggle with putting thoughts down in writing.

I was recently at a crossing with my DD (4), thought she was about walk out on the road and shouted 'No, we wait for the green man' and the lady who was also at the crossing jumped back. I said 'oh sorry I wasn't shouting at you!' She laughed and said 'No you're right, I should be setting an example with little ones about' thankfully we both found it funny! I always wait for the green man, its there for a reason

I cross whenever there is a gap in the traffic.

If I had a child with me (v unlikely) I'd wait for the green man even if the road was completely clear.

If there are no cars coming I cross on Red.

I do not do this in front of children though . When mine were all little we waited for the green man and I think its just ingrained in me that other parents may wish to teach their little ones the same . Lead by example :)

I will cross once their light has turned red or if there is nothing coming, but agree with DH that if children present it's best to wait for the green man.

I do feel uncomfortable in that bit between when the traffic has stopped and the man turns green though, so I understand where youre coming from.