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Anyone want to share their horrendous family Christmas memories? I have to laugh at mine, or I'd cry

82 replies

pigeononthegate · 17/11/2019 14:30

Family Christmases when I was growing up were an unadulterated nightmare from start to finish. They usually started with my mother practically handing out scripts for how she wanted everyone to behave, and an atmosphere of brittle jollity laced with sheer terror as everyone knew it was all going to go to rat shit again.

My sister hated opening presents in front of the giver and handled it by being rude and belligerent. She would hand back at least one present saying "I don't want it". My brother would be a nervous wreck and reacted by being silly and winding people up. My stepfather would turn into Victorian Dad and get progressively angrier and more uptight as the wrapping paper mess mounted. He would sit hunched in the corner (in a full Santa suit and beard my mother dressed him in) cutting crosses into the sprouts and occasionally roaring at someone to shut up or stop being bloody stupid.

Christmas dinner was an uneasy interface between my mother's desire to do "family Christmas" and both parents' ingrained conviction that talking/frivolity at the table is WRONG. So we would pull the crackers, put on the hats, and then eat in silence. If I close my eyes I can still see my mother's grim, furious face with a sheen of sweat and a fucking paper crown sitting on top of it. Usually by the time dinner was served there had been at least one major bust-up so at least two people would be either sulking or in tears. The only conversation would be titbits like my stepfather standing up and announcing "I'm going to put these sprouts back in the microwave PigeonsMum - they're RAW"

After dinner, if we were really young and there were toys to put together/batteries to organise/decals to apply, my stepfather would be ordered to do it while my mother sniped from the sidelines and whichever unfortunate child it was watched with a suitably grateful demeanour, or else. Something would get broken. "Easy come, easy fucking go".

Games. Oh sweet Jesus the games. Charades would involve my stepfather repeatedly doing "A Touch Of Frost" because he quite literally didn't know anything else and had been drinking on the sly all afternoon, and my mother making increasingly cruel jibes about him having had a stroke and somebody should call an ambulance. Card games would involve my stepfather accusing people of cheating and having a full-blown tantrum about the rules. Any game between two of the children would be shut down because it was noisy and "bloody stupid". My mother would start to unravel because we weren't conforming to the script. There would be screaming, throwing of objects, pronouncements of "I don't know why I bother, you've never brought me anything but fucking heartache, any of you" and there would be hissed arguments about who "ruined Christmas". The day would conclude (in the small hours, usually) with somebody either storming or being thrown out, suitcases emptied out of upstairs windows, taxis screaming off down the street, my mother thundering around the house banging doors and blaming whoever happened to be in the way.

Merry fucking Christmas Grin

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Likethebattle · 17/11/2019 14:41

I remember hearing my dad mansplaining to my mum how to serve dinner ‘it’s easy if you clean up as you go DW, isn’t it!’ He never, ever did any housework or cooking at all. Not a stroke, my mum did all the housework, child-rearing, washing, cooking, admin, part time job..,,how she didn’t stab him with the serving fork or lamp him with a colander that day I’ll never know.

There was the tone he got the runs after dinner and roared at my mum that she poisoned him and we were not having turkey or prawns again. Him drinking a full bottle of red and the rest of us being totally fine didn’t register at all it seems!

amusedbush · 17/11/2019 14:41

Christmas was always mum, dad, me, my brother and my paternal granny. She is an ignorant cow with no filter and many opinions.

When I was 20 she called me fat on Christmas morning, I told her to fuck off, she cried, dad shouted at me, mum was furious because she has never liked my gran... the atmosphere was awful all day. The next Christmas I’d lost 3 stone and looked great. I had woken up late and missed breakfast so I served myself a bowl of vegetable soup. My granny cackled, ‘eating again?? She just can’t help herself, can she?!’ Angry

Thankfully I’d met my now-DH by then and I haven’t spent another Christmas with the old bag since.

elQuintoConyo · 17/11/2019 14:45

Bloody hell these are awful! Makes me want to travel back in time, kidnap you all and your siblings at Christmas and bring you to my house FlowersBrew

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BarbedBloom · 17/11/2019 14:46

My dad hated christmas. He would spend all day sitting up in a dark room. Mum would always get us to wait in case he would come down to see us open our presents, but at about 11am she would give in and let us open them, as long as we played quietly and didn't speak too much in case it disturbed him. Then mum would take our presents up to him and later on, we would see them in the bin if mum hadn't had a chance to hide them. He would then get angry when mum took us out to see family and there would be a screaming row. When we came back later something would be broken, sometimes household stuff, sometimes our presents.

I love christmas now. My dad spends it alone as mum finally left him after we all left home

TiceCream · 17/11/2019 15:00

The Christmas after my parents divorced, MIL invited DM to join us and SIL at her house for dinner. DM is dyslexic and left school at 14 to work as a cleaner, whereas MIL, SIL and DH are all degree educated.

Several times I saw MIL and SIL glancing at each other and rolling their eyes, for example when DM couldn’t read her cracker joke or when she said something uneducated that they thought was silly. DM hasn’t had the advantages they’ve had but she isn’t stupid - they were openly laughing at her and she was really hurt so now she won’t spend Christmas with them any more.

I still have to see these bitches several times a year and be civil to them. On a few occasions they mentioned “that Christmas” and took the piss out of DM again. To add insult to injury, MIL always sends a £100 hamper to SIL’s inlaws (who are very posh and like nice things) but just a box of Roses to my DM (who “wouldn’t appreciate nice things” and can’t afford to return the gift to the same value).

pigeononthegate · 17/11/2019 15:03

Wow TiceCream, what supercilious bastards Shock

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fascinated · 17/11/2019 15:04

I‘ve got a great story but it is too specific and would be outing if the person in question read it. Boo!

Ghoulestofmums · 17/11/2019 15:05

The one where DH and I were staying with my parents. His parents came over for Christmas lunch. After lunch we announced (thought it would be a good idea with them all there) that I was pregnant. DDad and in laws were thrilled to bits. The other one -,I can’t use the M word even without the D - burst into tears (of horror an sadness, very clearly), rushed from the room and wouldn’t come out for an hour

Constantbronchitislaryngitis · 17/11/2019 15:09

OMG hysterical
I always had horrendous asthma and ending up having to leave the dinner table as I couldn’t breathe properly in the same room as a roaring fire
But hey ho, the roaring fire was more important than me being able to join in

My auntie hosted and we weren’t allowed tv for at least 3 days
My uncle used to sneak off to watch tv and she’d always find him snoring in front of he tv and then there would be a horrendous screaming match
My mum would end up pissed as a fart souring every word, spilling wine everywhere and then all the adults would be arguing
Once my auntie threw the Christmas pudding in my uncles face
He then poured cream over her head
I do have great memories too but most of them were very much like this
Merry fucking Christmas 😂😂😂

pigeononthegate · 17/11/2019 15:10

Constant that's made me proper guffaw Grin

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Mishappening · 17/11/2019 15:12

When I was a child a policeman knocked on the door to tell my Mum that her stepdad had committed suicide - she and Dad left to sort all this out about 100 miles away; and we were left with another gran.

|Not a Christmas one could forget.

pigeononthegate · 17/11/2019 15:18

Oh god I havent even mentioned the joys of split access on Christmas Day

If my dad wasn't away in the Middle East working, he'd sometimes have us for the afternoon on Christmas Day. On those years, the whole of Christmas morning would have a funereal atmosphere with lots of sad huffing and passive aggressive comments from my mother and my stepfather would refuse to even look at us. In his Santa suit. Christmas dinner would be served early and then we would be driven down to Dad's house in grim, reproachful silence.

We'd arrive at Dad's freezing filthy, damp and mouldy house, without warm clothes or coats. He'd be completely OTT with the feverish jollity and have created a ridiculously enormous and incongruous feast which we would be expected to eat all of, immediately. Once year he had a 16lb turkey, a ham, a massive side of beef, a huge cheese board, a giant pudding, no cutlery or plates....my sister turned her nose up and said "where are the vegetables?" and my dad burst into tears. It was freezing cold and there was nowhere to sit and nothing to do.

When we got home wed be treated to a wall of wounded silence until one of us put a foot wrong, at which point all hell would break loose - screaming at us that "every time you see your fucking father you treat us like SHIT", and "did you have fun with fucking Santa Claus" etc etc

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dottiedodah · 17/11/2019 15:20

Gosh some of these Christmases sound awful TBH! My memories of Christmas are lots to eat ,Nan and Grandad hosting at their house (seemed enormous then but in reality a 30s style semi)! going up to bed and trying to stay awake ! One year ate all the fondants in a box of Matinee Selection (Anyone remember those) and was promptly sick!.Clearing snow /making Snowmen .Hoping your present day Christmases are a whole lot better for you all!

DonEmmanuelsDingleberries · 17/11/2019 15:21

...how she didn’t stab him with the serving fork or lamp him with a colander that day I’ll never know.

There was the tone he got the runs after dinner and roared at my mum that she poisoned him

@Likethebattle - Plot twist: Your dad was right about being poisoned, and your mum didn't react to his mansplaining because she'd already planned his demise WinkGrin

egontoste · 17/11/2019 15:29

Oh crikey, mine can't hold a candle to some of these, but one Christmas, I came home from work the day before Christmas Eve feeling a bit under the weather, the next day flu hit with a vengeance and I was flat out ill in bed right through until New Year's Day. I lost a stone. I then had to go back to work on 2nd. Whereupon I immediately gave most of my work colleagues the same lurgy and I spent the next fortnight working like a maniac covering for them all while it was their turn to languish in bed.

Dowser · 17/11/2019 15:31

I had lovely Christmases as a child but when I got married everything changed.
By this time fil who was a dour old scot had retired from the sea. He hated Christmas and couldn’t wait to get across the road to the club. We pulled up one year ..as he was co I g out of the gate..he marched straight past us ..never wished anyone merry Christmas not even his grandkids.
I couldn’t wait to get dinner iver...when he came back from the club to get round to my mums for Christmas to really start.

The next year my husbands brother decided he was cooking the dinner...we had to wait till 4 pm to eat as the turkey hadn’t defrosted in time...we got to my parents at 6 pm

The next year, I called time. His parents came to ours for about 11 to see the kids open their presents and then the old Jock was whisked back for the pub and we went for dinner at my mum and dads.

Dad one year made a fairground game of rolling old pennies down a sloped piece of wood onto a board with 2d, 4d, 6d a shilling on it.
Dad was in his element and the kids loved it...in other words a proper Christmas

We kept this up until a year before he died. He wasn’t well one year, heavy cold or maybe flu, so we hosted and mum came to us.
So glad we did because the following year he had a fatal heart attack right on Christmas. We had to have Christmas dinner , knowing his funeral was going to be on New Year’s Eve.
The worst Christmas

Dowser · 17/11/2019 15:42

Awww pigeon...that is just so sad.
I hope everytHing Is so much better now and you can really let your hair down.
My mum, aunts and uncle were raised poor but as adults they really knew how to party.
We never went to my uncles on Christmas Day as he had 4 kids and his wife was a right miserable cow and just hated his half of the family.
If we turned up announced ..omg ..my uncle would be in clover ..out came the drink, the food, it was fabulous, while old misery guts sat in a corner moaning to whoever would listen.
One year was so bad all the adults got so pissed we all had to stay the night..how they slotted another 6 people in I don’t know
But the wicked aunt came upstairs as me and my girl cousins were in bed laughing and chattering, she whacked each of them on the backside with a slipper
If she’d touched me, she’d have been lynched by my mum, aunt and nana.

Another year my mum was in the back of our car singing ...all of a sudden a bloody black pudden came floating through the air..I thought it was hilarious and kept saying sing it again mum..

Thing is they were all nice drunks...unlike my ex who was a nasty miserable drunk..just like his dad

MrsT1405 · 17/11/2019 15:45

I still hate Christmas! As a young kid my dad was at sea (maybe!) I really missed him. He left the sea and took up farming. My granny had a pub! Between the 2 there was no time for Christmas. My dad ,it turned out, had another family in a nearby village. It took him hours to ' go fed the pigs ' or pick up a relation. My mum must have had an idea and the fights were awful. I had some lovely Christmas with my dcs but we're all estranged since I 're married . Usually we go away and ignore it all

pigeononthegate · 17/11/2019 15:50

I do have lovely Christmases now, thank you Dowser Flowers

Somehow having had miserable ones as a child makes it extra satisfying to do it differently with your own children. We have my dad (now in his 80s and still bonkers) every year and dont speak to any of the rest of the miserable fuckers at all. I don't think my kids believe me about my childhood, they can't imagine it at all.

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Dowser · 17/11/2019 16:01

Not me, but someone I knew married a man who became a Jehovah’s Witness .
She hated the change in their new way of living so when Christmas came around she went utterly and completely over the top.
Needless to say the marriage didn’t last long after that and they got divorced. Luckily no children involved.

Constantbronchitislaryngitis · 17/11/2019 16:01

Pigeon on the gate
So glad I made you chuckle
😊❤️

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 17/11/2019 16:04

Mygreat grandad would get absolutely trollied and I mean drinking himself into a slight coma. One year he started this weird speech slur and limp routine. Caused absolute murder within the family with people screaming he's once again ruined Christmas.

He was still doing it Boxing Day when he'd sobered up. After 4 hours in a walk in centre and a rushed ambulance drive it turned out he'd had small stroke mid drinking session Shock

No one even apologised to him. He was fine by the way and went out to pass out at Christmas for almost a decade longer

Bodear · 17/11/2019 16:05

@fascinated so good of you to comment. You really added to the thread Hmm

SoupDragon · 17/11/2019 16:10

He would sit hunched in the corner (in a full Santa suit and beard my mother dressed him in) cutting crosses into the sprouts and occasionally roaring at someone to shut up or stop being bloody stupid.

I can imagine that exact scene appearing in the Christmas Special for some sitcom!

flapjackfairy · 17/11/2019 16:18

I am lucky that I have always had good Christmases. However a few years ago we had the Christmas from hell . It was the year of the norovirus and both my daughters went down with it before christmas. The older one had already had it for a week and despite several trips to the emergency gp nothing was helping. She hadn't kept anything down for days and was in a dreadful state but the gp kept insisting she didn't need any intervention. Eventually I was forced to threaten to call an ambulance whilst waiting in the out of hours doctors for yet another appointment. The doctor took one look and she was rushed in to be put on a drip and she spent the last few days before christmas having terrible diarrhoea on top of the vomiting in hospital. I have never seen anybody so I'll 8n all my life !
On top of that my youngest daughter was not faring much better at home so I was rushing backwards and forwards between the two of them . Christmas eve was a particular low. Normally it is my favourite day of the year but youngest daughter was in a terrible state and
I was still needed at the hospital. My husband was at home doing what he could but I got home to a sobbing child who was wailing that she had wanted me and I wasnt there. Talk about guilt !
Christmas morning saw my oldest released so I showered her in hospital and got her home before tackling the younger dd who was covered in vomit yet again from the latest bout. Presents remained unopened on the whole.
We didn't have any dinner as any food smells made them both vomit and it was another full week before I stopped emptying sick buckets and doing endless loads of vomit encrusted washing. In all my years of parenting I have never experienced anything like it and to top it all our foster child with special needs started with it around New Year. Luckily he wasnt affected so severely .
Truly a festive season to forget !