Puppies first night and he’s fallen asleep on me-should I wake him?!

[Poochie284]

He’s had such a busy day, very little rest he’s just been too excited. He’s just crashed out on my knee. Tried to transfer him to his pen but he started howling. I feel very out of my depth (exactly how I felt first night home with DD!) do I leave him sleep? Do I wake him? Help!!

I slept with mine on the couch for the first two nights, then into a crate with a hot water bottle in our bedroom for a while. After that you can gradually move the crate further away to let him adjust, so outside the room after a few weeks, then top of stairs, bottom of stairs to kitchen etc.

Worked for us anyway and getting him used to the crate was a godsend as he's a chewer and can't be left unsupervised even while popping out to the shops RIP leather jacket

For the first week we let our puppy sleep in a dog bed next to our bed and I had my hand on him. Then moved him to living room in a pen.

He's now 3 though and sleeps in our bed...harder to get out than our actual baby

I thought about a sling for ours before she had her vaccinations too. But at 13 weeks she weighed 10kg!

She hasn't had an accident inside for weeks, but she's a bigger breed, so her bladder is bigger.

I've only successfully managed toileting with one dog, ever, because I didn't appreciate the process.

He will accident loads due to tiny bladder and because he doesn't know better. Like a toddler learning, he doesn't know what to do and praise, ridiculous praise every single time even a tiny bit comes out on the grass/ outside...

Mine would have been trained as he's an old rescue, but he kept going indoors til I went ridiculous with the praise outside and he got used to the routine and the home.

Consistency too. We have particular phrases in different pitches of voice.

They respond well to tone.

So, we have (don't laugh, please) a high pitched excited sounding 'wee-wees?' with the inflection at the end, a less excited but happy sounding 'yum-yums?' and 'no' has to be firm and lower toned.

When he wees, despite having had him 9 months, he still gets a high pitched but not excited 'good boy weewees, good weewees' statement as he goes.

It's also worth noting that dogs aren't all the same like I once assumed. Mine has some weird routines. He rarely has just one poo. And he often doesn't go immediately and you have to have an idea of what is normal for your dog (which you'll learn) and if I think he's needing to go but is being lazy (he isn't into going out or on walks, weirdo) I hang about and point him back to whichever of his three favourite spots he used, sometimes he squeezes out more wee and sometimes he relents and poops. But then I go and put the poop bag in the bin and he goes again. Annoying but hey. Dogs can have quirks too.

We haven't been able to sleep train him, he used to belong to an old lady and he is super spoilt. But recently I've discovered he will stay in bed in the night (he has an annoying unexplainable habit of getting up, making single barks til one of us gets up and he gets straight back in bed) if I put his bed at the bottom of the bed.

Basically, start as you mean to go on with the sleeping,and bear in mind that if you don't, you might end up with 1/5 of the bed, til the day he dies (partner takes up more than half, so I'm guessing I get 1/5).

He looks adorable. Congratulations and I hope some of what I've written is useful and not just embarrassing (on me)

He looks lovely.
Start as you mean to go on, let him know where his crate is and then go to bed.
I've never gotten up in the night to let the puppy out to pee, just put some newspaper down next to his crate. He'll have a whine and a Milan for a few nights, but he'll survive. And then he'll soon learn the rhythm that you turn up again every morning and routine is established. If they learn they can call you in the night and you turn up... well good luck with that. Our dogs often pad around at night as they are light sleepers, but she knows not to call anyone for company because she'll get bloody short thrift!
Dogs like to know there are rules and that you are the pack leader that sets them. It gives them comfort to know you are in charge, making decisions and looking after them. Scold them immediately when they get it wrong and praise them immediately when they get it right.
Problem behaviours often evolve over time inadvertently because they are unsure of their position in the hierarchy so they challenge to see what happens - it's natural and it's how they are programmed.
The dog needs to know from day one that it is loved, cared for, played with, fed, watered etc and that it's at the bottom of the family ladder and does what it's told. And it'll be very happy and secure knowing this is how it is.
Another couple of tips for you:
Eat first and scold the dog if it begs, then feed it afterwards. It'll learn quickly to be patient and that when you eat, his food will follow if he quiet and well behaved.
When playing games, always end the game. Don't play for so long the dog gets board and loses interest.
Don't over praise a dog when it's not done anything to deserve it ie it's just sitting there. Whilst they like it it also confuses them - they want to learn what they need to do to get praise, so don't send them mixed messages.
Quickly teach your dog its name and to sit. And get good recall training quickly. It makes lead-off walks far more fun and less stressful. When your dog is playing with others, you want to know that one command from 50yards has him excitedly sprinting back to you. Not much fun being that hapless owner constantly shouting the dogs name whilst it ignores them.
Teach them 'No', it's vital to have 100% control for their own safety. The command should make them stop whatever they are doing or about to do immediately and look at you.
Whilst a puppy gently handle his paws, ears, round his eyes, teeth etc. Teach him that you can do this. Makes grooming / vet visits much easier going forward.

Had and trained happy and healthy dogs my whole life, happy to answer any questions!
Good luck and enjoy!

Our 16 weeks pup still goes to bed with a hot water bottle and radio 4

So does my 42 year old DP.

Just give in to the inevitable and have him in with you. Resistance is futile.

Reading the comments reminded me of a couple of other things I did when my dogs were small and new. I let them go to sleep with my hand touching them when they were small. Also the crate was next door so I could hear them and I always went when they started to cry properly . The odd whine I ignored, but when the crying set in properly, then I don´t think it is kind to leave them to it. It really is just for the first few nights.

Pack theory and dominance stuff is largely dismissed now. I let ours out for toilet in night, is was a week of awful sleep, then a few weeks of waking once.

Have a word or phrase you say when he goes to the toilet, ours is "get busy". Our pup will now wee on command. When she needs a poo she becomes very bitey, and then runs like a loon round the garden before settling on a spot.

The perfect puppy by Gwen Bailey is a good starting point for a book.

Just FYI, pack theory in training has been debunked for a few years as has ‘scolding’ as a form of training. I would read books like ‘Easy, Peasy, Puppy Squeezy’ (Steve Mann) and ’Happy Puppy Handbook’ (Pippa Mattinson) for an easy to follow guide to modern positive, force-free methods.

I do agree with not over praising though.

Crate? And stay with him downstairs or cave now (you may as well!) and take him upstairs. I had my bil’s teeny puppy for the first few weeks until he was back from working away and he was in our room in his crate, I took him out at 4am, then plonked him upside down between me and the DH til 6. Here he is with the big dogs (springers)

Our dog came to us at 9 months. The resolve of having her sleep in her crate lasted all of 5 mins. Couldn't take the crying. We have her 5 months now and she sleeps on a blanket at the end of my bed. She usually tho bed hops during the night and heads to ds or dh. She comes back to me by morning and we snooze on a bit until dh calls her for a walk and breakfast. I never anticipated the sheer love I would feel for a dog. She is hard work but my God she is worth it. I love having her sleep on the bed. I'm sure psychologically it has to be good for her too. Her start in life wasn't the best

For night time we started by putting the crate in our bedroom so she could see us. I could call out to her if she was whimpering but she always settled quite quickly. She had a warm bottle and blanket that smelled if mum as well. I set an alarm every 4 hours just to let her out for a wee until she was a bit older- probably not really necessary but we had cream carpets in the bedroom! We had paper down in the crate just in case she had an accident

Over the course of a few weeks we gradually moved the crate further away out the room, onto the landing and eventually downstairs. She now doesn’t need to be crated and will just go to her own bed herself

When it came to toilet training we had a bell on the door handle that dangles at puppy height. Every 15 minutes I used to ring the bell and open the door and let her out for a wee with a command; if she didn’t go fine but if she did I kept to 15 minutes until she wasn’t going every time then increased the time (kind of like potty training I suppose) eventually she associated the bell ringing with the door opening so every time she rung the bell we opened the door (teenage phase was hard as she rang the bell for everything, just to be a pain, but we got passed that)

Now if we hear the bell it’s because she needs a wee (she’s had yummy bugs before and rang in the middle of the night to go out which was a life saver for our carpets! So very useful)

I slept on the sofa with FrangipaniPup on his first night with us, then for the next week DH and I til it in turns to sleep on the sofa but with pup in his bed nearby - he pretty much didn't cry after the first couple of nights

I think we all puppy parent the same way we baby parented so some will snuggle all night and some will cry it out.
From what you've said I think you'll be the former, you just have to do what works for you all, if it suits then ignore those who say to let them cry etc

I'd try to gently take him to his pen and let him sleep there. If he wakes, get him to go pee pee then guide him to the pen. Stick the radio on quietly if required

If you're ok with him sleeping with you forever then keep him with you, otherwise I'd but him in his bed with all his comfort items and accept that he's going to cry

@user1494670108 I'm polar opposite with puppies and kids lol. My 2 and half year old is in a single bed next to me and get in when he pleases. My puppies stay downstairs in their crate of a night time and always have done

Gets in my bed* that should say

What’s your long term plan? My pup came to bed the first night (tried crating later)... he’s still there

But then I love doggy snuggles

@Sammy867 - When it came to toilet training we had a bell on the door handle that dangles at puppy height. Every 15 minutes I used to ring the bell and open the door and let her out for a wee with a command;

I would love to do this for my 2 dogs. Can you please post a photo so I can see how you did this? Thank you.

The Company of Animals COA Toilet Training Bells www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00J3TNAOW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_RrZZDbPHW9BXC?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

This was the bell we used but there are loads of different ones around. It took a bit of persistence. You just have to ring it every time before opening the door. Eventually when she was a bit older we took her paw and knocked the bell and then opened the door (she would get a treat then and lots of praise)

Once she knew ringing the bell opened the door she didn’t need the reward any longer and we didn’t need to use her paw to ring it for her. The key is to always ring when opening the door when they are learning (either you or using their paw) and once they are ringing the bell themselves you have to open it every time, no matter if they’re just being ridiculous

Haha, the first night we had our puppy she slept on the bed.

DH said "she can't sleep on the bed, she's a dog, she should be in her crate".
I said "she's only a baby, go on, its only for a night or two"

If he is going to be sleeping downstairs perm then you need to leave him...otherwise he will honestly do the same every night then soon shut up....or give in and end up with a dog that sleeps on your bed every night like mine 😩😬