Help me solve this puzzle before my head explodes

[ApocalypseNowt]

Just a hint of where to start would be nice!

I've solved all the clues I think but have no idea how to put them in the grid. A couple of the clues have more than 10 letters too so haven't got a scooby what to do with them.

For info the black squares are actually coloured so I think I'm meant to use them.

Help meeeeee.....

Not sure if it's right but I would probably put 'ace' horizontally at 1 on the basis that's the only three letter answer? (I've not solved all the clues!)

No idea - never seen one like that. Where's it from? What does it say across the top? (pix don't show the full thing)

Chopsticks
Honey
Ace
Entertain

Oh you've solved them - ignore me!

Can I just say...Boswell

Not sure if it's right but I would probably put 'ace' horizontally at 1 on the basis that's the only three letter answer

Surely that answer is ace of spades? not just ace?

At the top it says 'Traffic jam (5,5)' which will be the ultimate/overall answer to the puzzle.

Stoopid puzzle from work. Got about 8 of them to do, all really hard but this one i can't even get started on.

Where it says 1 will be 4 letters not 3. The black squares are actually colours so i think we have to put letter in which will hopefully then solve the traffic jam bit.

I think that type of puzzle all answers go in the grid horizontally. They start at a numbered square and overlap the next by at least one letter, so the answer for 1 would have at least 5 letters

So for example 9 ottawa, 10 wasabi, 11 bilingual

What about the bit that says, 'Solve the clues...'?

Yes, I wondered if the coloured squares were the letters making up an anagram of a 5 + 5 letter phrase to do with 'traffic jam' - but there are 11 squares!

You could try either matching the number of letters from one number to the next with the length of the answers, but '2' in the grid would be two letters long, or maybe writing each answer in turn into the grid L to R, top to bottom, ignoring the numbers. But then, what are they for?

There are 17 numbers & 17 clues. Do the number of squares in the grid & the number of letters in your answres match?

YES! Then Alimony, Nymphomaniac, Ace of spades.....

I think you're on to something greenlobster

THANK YOU

I bet the answer is "stand still"

Hmmm, this may mean i have a couple of clues wrong then.

The following fit together though: email - ailment - entertain - interstellar - larynx

Oooh and dodgem before email....

I was thinking bumper, but dodgem sounds right.

Honey pot before Ottawa.

I had drum for percusion instrument but can't fit that in anywhere....yet

Why would you do that AnneTwackie?

(First thing I thought too 😬)

Sorry I don't understand the Boswell reference... Am i being thick?

It was a riddle someone asked for help with about a year ago Apocalypse, was absolutely nonsensical and we were promised a resolution to it.. We were had, good and proper 😠

Can't believe it got to 1000 posts.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3441291-to-ask-for-your-help-solving-this-impossible-riddle-joke

Muse song /Stuart Pearce is "psycho" if that helps

I've managed to fit them all in the grid!

Am now stuck on how to solve the last bit.

There are 11 coloured boxes in the grid but the overall clue of traffic jam is (5,5). Hmmmm......

The letters in the boxes are G E I R E N G L H E T

Clear as mud

I promise not to Boswell you!

I think the answer is Green Light

All I can get from those letters is ‘green light’ with a spare letter

Yeah, me too. Don't know why there's a spare 'e'. Am hoping it doesn't matter. Will find out tomorrow if i'm right!