Did you love your DC from the moment they were born?

[username35932]

You often hear of mothers saying they had a rush of love the moment their baby was born. Just talking to DH about it and admitted to him I didn't with DD.
I obviously love her more the anything it just seems to develop over time.
Just wondered if others didn't get this rush of love?

Same. About 3wks with DD, shorter with DS

I did, but honestly, I suprised myself as I never expected to love them so much. I have no relationship with my mother, so didn't have a clue what to expect. If anything, I half expected to get the baby blues. The love I felt was amazing and if I could bottle it and sell it, I'd be a millionaire
.

Didn’t come until about 12 weeks with ds1.

Personally I don't understand people who say they fell in love with their baby...
I felt a connection but it was to an unknown baby - love grew very quickly but it wasn't instantly.
Feelings fly through you that you are glad they are here safely and you haven't died before love arrives ime!

I did. I know it doesn’t always happen like that.

I was totally amazed by, and deeply in love with him. I think everyone is different though, and it also depends on your birth experience. Mine wasn’t traumatic.

DD1, yes. DS1, no. It took years with terrible PND after a traumatic delivery. DD2, not immediately but it took a week. They are teenagers now and I love them all equally.

I did. Though with DS1 I felt a connection and love for him when pregnant that just sort of shot up a bit when he was born.
With DS2 I struggled to bond with him much at all while pregnant because of hyperemesis and having a toddler occupying my time and thoughts. But the night he was born I got such a rush of love that after a few days I felt overwhelmed by it. It really took me by surprise.

I did, but I felt I loved my daughter before she was born too - the love intensified when she was placed in my arms though!
Shes two and a half now and suddenly when she does something cute or clever or kind I seem to fall a little bit more.

I'm currently 31+2 weeks with my second little girl and I definitely feel like I love her as well.

I didn't, found it very hard & used to get very upset when people would say 'oh, you just feel that rush of love, don't you? Isn't it amazing?'
Well, no Sonia, I didn't, they look like Winston Churchill! I've never felt a rush of love for someone that looks like a little, wrinkly potato!

I love them all now, (& they are all very beautiful now!) but it scared me that I didn't get that rush of love & I didn't admit it to anyone for a long time.

No, it took about 2 months with my first but only a week or so with second. She is an easier baby though, so maybe it's easier to bond when you're not as sleep deprived.

I didn’t with DS1, it grew over months. DS2 there was no “rush” but i instantly loved him. I was in very different places when I had them though and the labours were very different which I think made a difference.

I did with my second boy, my first and third boys it was more gradual. Interestingly, they were caesareans and no.2 boy was a vbac. I've always wondered if that made a difference...

It took at least a month before I felt any affection for ds1. I’m still a bit sad for him about that 2 years on. I’d had an awful birth and had ptsd (although didn’t know it at the time) I felt quite protective of him but was very much going through the motions and looking after him because I had to not because I wanted to.

With ds2 I fell head over heels in love with him straight away and was completely besotted with him from the start. Our first night together I didn’t sleep a wink, I just stayed up all night with him on my chest adoring him.

He’s 10 months now and my eldest is 2. I adore both of them equally and although I think I’ll always be a little bit sad I took so long to bond with ds1 I can safely say it hasn’t affected our relationship at all.

DS1 - no, could have been anyone’s baby. DS2 - yes, as soon as I heard him crying after being pulled out (c-section) i welled up and did feel that rush.

No, I didn’t. But I also wasn’t worried because I’d read that it might happen or might not. I thought he was nice enough mind you, but the rush of love took a while.

Always loved them. Before they were born and after.

Took me a while with my first but I fell instantly with my second.

Nope. DS1 was born, he was wiped and handed to me- I said, who are you, little alien?! I had no idea how I felt.

Well, that's not strictly true, I sort of thought 'well, that's that done'. And the actual idea of taking him home and caring for him almost came as a shock to me!

NO idea where my headspace had taken me, then!

Anyway, it took weeks, if not months, for my love to grow. But I wasn't massively upset. I liked him, but it was great when he stopped screaming for long enough to allow me to 'mummy' him....

The first year of his life was the worst year of my life.

He's 20 now and I love him more than my own life.

Yes I loved them from before they were born but not in the same way that I love them now. The “rush” of love happens every day now.

Nope. And I think it's really important to recognise this. Obviously I cared for them etc etc but tbh that true bond wasn't there for a long time.

The whole immediate gush of love wasnt there. Dts were in NICU for six weeks. When they came home I was terrified they would die.

What I can say is when it came it was like a bloody hurricane. You'll get there op.

But I never got that 'rush of love' thing with either of mine.

I did but I can also completely understand that people love in different ways and it definitely grows stronger.

No, I was terrified, elated, knackered and in pain. But I didn’t feel that fish till dd was 3/4 months old.

With ds1, I had a long labour (29 hours) and traumatic birth and didn't instantly fall in love with him.
When I was back on the wars, dp brought the baby down to see me and I just didn't want him there. It was late at night, the nurses took him for the night and in the morning I remember feeling strange towards him aswell.

With ds2, it was different and i did love him instantly.

Both were planned.