Did you love your DC from the moment they were born?

[username35932]

You often hear of mothers saying they had a rush of love the moment their baby was born. Just talking to DH about it and admitted to him I didn't with DD.
I obviously love her more the anything it just seems to develop over time.
Just wondered if others didn't get this rush of love?

No, I was just totally shocked for a few hours. The love grows.

I didn't. I had PND and PTSD after a horrid labour and birth and ongoing physical complications. But I remember looking at him in his high chair at about 7 months old, and thinking, I could definitely learn to love you.
I'd worked so hard to detach "him" as a person, from his hideous delivery, that it was a bit like learning to love a child who wasn't actually mine somehow, as I didn't feel like I'd delivered him. Hard to describe!
Two years down the road I'm completely besotted!!

Yes with DC1 but took nearly 6 months with DC2 after a horrid birth experience. Both were EMCS. Love them both and probably closer now to DC2 if anything.

DD - yes the moment I saw her, massive rush of overwhelming love and I thought she was beautiful from the first moment. DS - no, and I felt disappointed and really guilty that I didn't feel the same. I almost felt quite indifferent to him when I took him home. It probably took about 3 weeks.

Nope. Took months with DS1 and a couple of weeks with DS2, who was actually the much trickier baby! I was fiercely protective of them but no instant love. Once it came though, it’s stronger than I ever imagined.

DS1 yes. Immediately and totally. He was a very difficult baby though.

DS2 im sad that it took about 2 months. Despite being a very easy baby.

Love them both the same now of course but i also feel bad about DS2. Didnt help that it was a very difficult birth and i had complications afterwards that lasted for months

Fell in love as soon as I knew I was pregnant, then absolute love and adoration as soon as I saw them

Instantly protective, but not necessarily love.

No. My overwhelming feeling was "what the fuck have I done?"

I loved her before she was born, there was no 'rush' at birth, just an 'ah, hello, you're on the outside now' moment. I think it started feeling real and special from the scan when i found out the sex but no one else wanted to know. I knew my little girl was in there and it was kind of a secret between us.

Intense love from his first cry (c-section) but I think it's probably much less common than we think. None of my friends fell in love with their babies instantly

Nope it was traumatic birth followed by 3 weeks in ITU I felt that rush of love at about 6 months.

I did with my first but I think it was more of oh my word I made a human being type fascination. With my second, who was born just less than a year later I thought I felt it, but when he giggled for the first time at whatever age that was, I realised that's when I actually fell head over heels in love with him. With my third, a total surprise baby who I really didn't think I even wanted (yes I know that sounds horrible) I honestly fell in love with her the moment she came flying out. Still to this day no idea where that came from!

Yes, total and instant, the moment they were born - I'd love them, the idea of them, before they were born, but as soon as I saw the little wriggling thing I was overwhelmed.

I don't think it makes any difference in the long run if you felt that or not, though. A really good friend of mine confessed to not feeling love for her first child for several weeks and worried about it, but now the DC in question are all almost adults, I would say that she has, if anything, been a more hands-on parent than I have been.

No. I had a long, traumatic birth and I thought DS had died at one point. I think in my head my baby was dead and the baby I was left with didn't belong to me. Slowly over a period of weeks (months?) I learned to love him and I couldn't love him more now.

I'm due to have my second be section on Monday, so fingers crossed it's a more straightforward process this time.

I had this very odd feeling when my Ds was born not a rush of love but a feeling like I just knew I had loved him.

It was 2 days later though we really connected

I was madly in love with him from the first second. It took me by surprise. I'm not maternal, he was an accident and I wouldn't want another one and I was so worried I wouldn't like him.

No, I was too busy trying not to die both times and they were both taken for resuscitation. I fell in love with my first when he was about 4 months old, and my second when she was about 2 months.

It definitely took me a while, my first thought upon seeing her was 'Oh! There really was a baby in there' 😳 and then the terror set in and didn't start to dwindle for a couple of months!

Nope, not at all. My thoughts were more along the lines of "Well, that appears to be a baby, and they say it's my baby, so I guess it is..?"

I felt a strong sense of responsibility for him, but I think it was over 12 weeks before I really knew I loved him. Mostly, in the first weeks, I felt 1) overwhelmed, 2) terrified, 3) exhausted, 4) resentful.

Makes no difference whatsoever to what I feel now, though. Lots and lots of people take time to fall in love with their babies.

I have three children. I absolutely categorically did NOT with the first two, as I was too traumatised from the birth. I felt love of sorts, but it was more of a protective love. With my third, it was a crash section under GA, when I woke up and they passed him to me, I couldn't believe the overwhelming rush of love I had for him (could have been the morphine). I'm a midwife, and I can honestly say it's different for everyone, and largely dependent on circumstance. It's okay not to feel it straight away, that's not how it starts for everyone.

Exactly how I felt, Duck!

Nope not til he was around 5 months old and I suddenly woke up one day and loved him completely

@Discoballs I had a similar feeling with my first, at one point during labour no one could find a heart beat and I thought "oh well, that's that then, he's dead".. I got quite dissociated at that point.

I kinda did, I'd longed for that moment for years and when I saw her I definitely felt a lot of love. But it wasn't until the next day and things had calmed down a little (almost died, crash cart called but luckily not needed to be used) I was holding her and just started bawling because it hit me so hard. I still get those rushes now four months later, not little waves when she does something cute but big tsunamis when I think about how close I was to losing everything and how amazing she is. However, at times I also feel no emotion towards her and think she'd be better off somewhere else, it's a horrible seesaw of emotions