Did you love your DC from the moment they were born?

[username35932]

You often hear of mothers saying they had a rush of love the moment their baby was born. Just talking to DH about it and admitted to him I didn't with DD.
I obviously love her more the anything it just seems to develop over time.
Just wondered if others didn't get this rush of love?

With Dd1 I was shock, took about 3 weeks.
With Dd2 it was a difficult pregnancy I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5mths. Dd1 was 23.
Dd1 died 2months before Dd2 was born. I was in a really bad place. I told the midwife I didn't want to hold the baby when it was born.
When she arrived I nearly knocked the midwife on her arse to get to dd. I was amazed at the love I felt for her.

Yes, immediately - as soon as I heard them cry. They were whisked away to NICU and I literally felt hollow and couldn't focus on anything but being with them. That feeling got stronger and stronger as time went on.

I didn’t feel an immediate rush of love... I think I was shell shocked and exhausted and sore (ended up having a C Section after baby was distressed). Hadn’t slept for a number of days since my waters had broke and after the birth I came down with a rotten cold!

I obviously cared for DD but I was mainly tired and a worried new parent. It was when we got home and I was snuggling up to her that I kissed her and realised it was the first time I had done that. When my milk came in it hit me like a tidal wave and I felt this intense love for her. I couldn’t stop crying for no reason at all, other than I just loved her so much.

I didn't, and wonder if its because I had a c section each time. I've heard that could be a reason but don't know if there's any truth in it.
Took a couple of weeks I'd say, but it didn't panic me the second time around because I knew it would grow!

I thought I loved DC1 until they were in ICU at 13 months old then I felt That Deep Love like I’ve never felt it before. At birth it was more thank fuck that’s over (and giving birth for me was actually straight forward, just paracetamol for pain relief, no injuries etc).
With DC2 I felt a greater love at birth but not a dramatic rush of love.

We had ivf and I felt a massive love for my embryos that I’ve got photos of- that was surreal and over whelming.

I felt an immediate rush of elation and looked at the wee one with sheer delight and fear! That was number 1 and was elated with the other 3 and felt overwhelming feeling of love. Not everyone does so dont worry if your not feeling the same

I had an easy pregnancy but a long labour and then a caesarian.
I had been looking forward to being a mum but didn't /couldn't imagine how it would actually be.
The moment that my son was put into my arms the deluge of love knocked me for six. I suddenly knew how much my dad loves me. I love my dad too but it is nothing like that which I felt then, and continue to feel for my son.
Your children love you (if all is well) but when you become a parent you realise that that intensity of love essentially flows from parent to child. (Nature designed it that way to ensure survival of offspring?)
For some that feeling comes at the birth, for others it comes later. But isn't it the best feeling?

Rush of Love sounds a bit dramatic.
DS was in SCBU and I remember missing him terribly and thinking it was very weird to miss someone I'd not even met yet.
With DD I got a bit emotional and started saying "Look at her. All she wants is to be loved". But that was the morphine Off my tits, I was.

I felt completely like you OP - I loved cuddling my newborn and felt very protective and was excited to have him there but I couldn’t call it love straight away either. Maybe it’s a first born thing - like it’s a whole different kind of love and for some it just doesn’t click straightway - I’ve only got the one at the moment, maybe with a second it will feel different?

I suddenly knew how much my dad loves me
Yes! I remember saying to my mum 'did you love me as much as this??!' I mean I always felt love but didn't know she felt like this! Suddenly a lot made sense.

@ParkheadParadise I'm so very sorry . That must have been a terribly difficult time.

No I felt exhausted,drugged up and bewildered.I ended up with pnd and if I'm honest it took me over a year to get a full bond.I truly love ds now who is 5yrs but I feel so guilty that I'll never get that time back.

I didn't. I expected to, I think all new mothers expect to and then when you don't you feel like you're a terrible mother.

It took a while for me. I struggled after birth. I spent months in isolation as my ex was in the forces and I had no family or friends around where we were living. I barely left the house for the first 8 months of DS's life. I think that had a lot to do with it.

He's 6 now and I love the absolute bones off him.

Feel a bit like you. It developed over time. I love them more than anything in the world now. I love the bloody bones of them and would lay down my life with out a seconds hesitation for them. I didn't feel the love I feel now the day either of them were born. Although I did love them!

Yes, but it was complicated. I knew that I would sacrifice anything for her, but I also felt in shock and resentful. I had no idea how to cope without my time being my own.

I was excited to meet my first.

I thought my second was someone else’s baby. Because I did not recognise her face.

It is such a huge experience, completely overwhelming in so many regards. I don’t think I had the emotional headspace to feel a rush of love. However I did feel immensely protective and caring of them both immediately.

With my first the feeling of love built up over the first few days and weeks.
I was in shock really, I think.
And I couldn't quite imagine what it would be like to have a baby the whole time I was pregnant . I wouldn't say I loved the baby before it was born or instantly - but that was perhaps a defence / coping mechanism incase something terrible happened.

I'm pregnant now with my second and feel more relaxed, can visualise having the baby and perhaps more likely to get the rush of love, I hope.

@PrincessHoneysuckle- try not to feel guilty; hormones are powerful things. Think of all you’ve done since, and are yet to do still!

No. I had to grow to love her. The whole universe shines out of her arse now, though.
My friend was constantly on about this instant rush of love and bond. I’m not knocking it. I may have been there for her.
I did have a c/section, so. I didn’t see her properly (aside from a glance)until she was about a day old.

Nope, thankfully I had read that not everyone felt the rush and I was not worried. I was protective over him and met his needs but felt like I was babysitting. It was 8 weeks in that it happened something just clicked and I felt the strongest love I had ever known.

@Shockers thanks 😊

I had a really rough birth with DS and he was then sick for a long time afterwards so honestly it took me until about 6 months to get the big rush of love. From the second I held him though I did feel incredibly protective of him.
With DD I had another rough birth but felt the immense love the second she arrived.
I love them both with that crazy, crushing love but in very different ways.

Yes. It was amazing. I also go a bit feral post birth. I want to take my babies back to a cave and snarl at passers by.

Not with dd. I was haemorrhaging and losing consciousness. They put her on the bed next to me and I remember feeling mildly curious and thinking “I’ve just had a baby and I’d quite like to have a look at her and I could do that if I just opened my eyes and moved my head but I can’t. Oh well.”

Admittedly my next thought was “They are shouting quite a lot about my heart rate and losing me. I think I might be dying. Oh well.”

It seems nearly bleeding to death makes you quite a laid back type!

Yes but I love them more the better I know them and it takes them a while to blossom into their individual selves. As newborns they are like lovely puppies, but by a few months they are amazing tiny humans and the love just gets bigger and better from there