Birthday etiquette - who should pay?

[Fedupofballs]

Got a big birthday coming up and thinking or inviting some friends/my parents for dinner at a local restaurant. Probably be about 15 of us in total. There’s a set menu which includes a glass of fizz. Which option would you expect?
1 - I pick up the full bill?
2 - I pay for the meal and people sort their own drinks (and possibly tip?)
3 - everyone pays for meals and I buy some drinks.
4 - everyone pays for themselves?

I’m thinking option 2, but what would you expect?

It doesn't matter which one, but if you expect anyone to pay for anything you need to make it clear at the point of invite. Not telling them is where it falls apart.

It all depends on what you do in your social circle!
We go out for a meal/ drinks with friends and everyone just pays for themselves

1 if you can afford to. If not, 2 would be lovely also.

I'd expect to pay for myself.

Everyone pays for themselves (and hopefully all chip in a couple of quid and cover yours too). Just make it clear on the invitation.

I've never expected for my meal to be paid for in a restaurant.

4

In my circle of friends we’ve always paid our own way for birthday celebrations

My friends and I always pay for ourselves. I'd never expect someone to pay for me unless they explicitly said so.

You also need to check what the restaurant allows. They may not issue umpteen different bills for all the drinks. If that’s the case, get two copies of the bill and a pen and get people to mark off their own drinks plus service chargeor you’ll have such a faff at the end.

Thank you, I don’t particularly have a ‘social circle’ so there isn’t really a precedent...
The telling in advance is a really good point!

I'd expect to pay for my own, by splitting the bill with the group.
I'd think it a very nice touch if you bought some champers

Id expect to pay my way. Round here buying everyone a meal (not even drinks) eould be billy bigtime flash behaviour!!

I suppose it depends on your friends.

I'd expect to pay for myself and chip in to cover the birthday girl/boy.

If it were my birthday and I could easily afford it, I'd love to treat everyone, though. But definitely agree people need to know in advance!

I’d also expect to pay for our own.
But if it’s a set menu then send it to those invited

For my 40th, I had a meal out with my friends, they pid for their drinks and we paid for the meal. But we were lucky enough to be able to do that, if money was tight I'd make it clear in advance I was asking them to pay.

I wouldn’t expect anything. Normally we would pay for ourselves but Option 2 would be nice if it’s your big birthday (my friends drink too much to consider Option 1)
As others have stated, making it clear beforehand is the key. Does the place have an actual bar where you can get your drinks separately - would save a lot of faffing with the bill at the end.

Paid

I would expect to pay for myself. Mention the set menu and the price when you invite people. Often when I have been to these kind of things the birthday girl or partner of or parent or whoever might have pre bought a few bottles of wine which would already be on the table, but no assumption that you should do that.

I'd expect to pay for myself and chip in for yours.

However I've been to a couple of meals like this where the birthday person has paid for the food (should be easier to do this on a set menu?) and everyone else paid for their drinks.

Can you afford to pay for some/all of it?

It’s nice if it’s a set menu as everyone k owe what they are expecting. I think that’s a really good way of doing it.

DH has just had a big birthday. Family invited (10) and he paid for meals and wine. Drinks beforehand were being paid for as ordered by whoever ordered them.

The place I’m thinking of does have a bar, so that should be fine... I’m not going to invite lots of people as I’m one of those people who has a few friends (but they’re good ones)! Option 2 looks like a pretty nice option.

I've only ever been to one where the hosts paid but that was for a huge tapas style meal in a restaurant function room rather than ordering off a menu and the invitation was "please join us for a party on this date at that place etc". Usually the invitation is more along the lines of "we are thinking of going out for a meal at restaurant X on this weekend or that weekend for my birthday, who would like to join us and which date suits best" in which case everyone pays for their own. We always split the bill too, no faffing about, maybe a minor adjustment if someone isn't drinking.

I would expect to pay for myself. Make it clear in the invite by saying "there is a set menu for £15"

Everyone pays for themselves, I’ve never been to a birthday meal where it’s been paid for.

Why would you organise and invite people to a meal (and pay for them)on YOUR Birthday??
Why not just ask anyone if they fancy coming out somewhere on x date as it's your Birthday?
It all sounds very formal and makes it all a bit awkward doing it so formally and people won't know if they paying or not!.