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How long between children?

3 replies

Meshy23 · 02/11/2019 14:58

Im 35 next year and gave birth to my first In May and still breastfeeding. We conceived very quickly (few months) for which I know we are so lucky. No periods yet and after a traumatic birth and EMCS my body still feels like it’s recovering and I could feel healthier and more energetic. I’m also going back to my job in February (relatively senior professional). I will stop breastfeeding then.

I definitely would like to try for a second at some point in future.

My head says that I should wait for at least 18 months to 2 years before trying to allow me to recover fully from the pregnancy and birth, to save money and to build up my career again (I got a promotion to one level below partner three months before I got pregnant but couldn’t follow through on my business plan etc).

Now my dad is no longer a newborn My heart honestly is broody again! As tough as it was, I would like to be pregnant again as soon as possible and HOPE I’ll be strong enough and think my career and the next step which would be partner can wait.

It would also be quite nice to have two close together.

My husband is generally open to both.

Does anyone have any wise words for me on this? In terms of how difficult it is to have two young kids and timing generally especially after an EMCS?

Am I being ridiculous with either option given my age and the birth?

Thank you!

OP posts:
Meshy23 · 02/11/2019 15:00

*now that my Dd (not dad) is no longer a newborn!

OP posts:
MarchingAnts · 02/11/2019 15:08

I'm 39, had my first 16 months ago, and am now 4 months pregnant. I didn't have emcs though so no wise words about that I'm afraid. In my case, it took a year the first time which made us want to get moving in it, but second time it happened immediately! I think you need to recover for longer after emcs though, and you have longer to play around with than I did.

DawnOfTheDeadleg · 02/11/2019 15:09

What would you consider two close together? It really is very early days yet for you yet: you could leave TTC for over a year and still have a two and a half to three year gap, which is not large really. You can't leave it forever but at 34 and already having had a child you also don't need to get on with it straight away either.

That being said, some people find it suits them best to get it done really quickly. I have a friend with a 12 month gap and they had a really rough couple of years with childcare costs etc then all of a sudden it was downhill from there.

What about maternity pay?

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