Things I have learnt since becoming rich (a.k.a. fuck you: Nigella and Jamie)

[TheAutumnHere]

1. Having an oven that holds temperature stops cakes falling
2. A stand mixer simplifies baking by a factor of at least 4, and improves the results
3. Branded vacuum cleaners actually remove dirt from the floor
4. Le Creuset pans don't stick, and just wipe clean
5. Baking with children is delightful japes, when timed the morning before the cleaner comes
6. Corn fed chicken is the bomb

Just leaving a note to my past self - who never cut herself any slack and thought she was a slattern and a crap cook.

You're triggered by the stereotype of the well groomed mum trotting her perfect cakes into the school bake sale.

I don't get what you're trying to say here. I dropped off some halloween treats yesterday for a bake sale wearing red lipstick. However I'm not particularly well groomed (not I look I aspire too) & my cakes were fine but not Bake off standard. There are always some that are but I have no clue who makes them.

I do subscribe to buy cheap, buy twice but I think it has limits. I only have 1 small pan & frying pan that aren't Le C (wedding presents) however I really can't tell the difference. I also prefer Henry to Miele & Dyson.

Feck I'd love to be rich, in the meantime, I make excellent food super quick using the reduced to clear section of Lidl and Aldi.

@getyourgrooveback - oh yes! The hosting! I am an effortlessly relaxed host now M&S does the fucking cooking! We had fun times before - but all I served was tomato pasta & even so I never seemed to get a chance to actually sit down with my guests!

Jamie definitely gave me unreasonable expectations there. My older more cynical self is really pissed by 'make ahead' being the universal panacea. I've realised that if I don't have time to fix everything for by party - it's not my fault for not 'getting ahead' yesterday - because 'yesterday' is not magic - I had no time yesterday either.

3) Branded vacuum cleaners actually remove dirt from the floor

Not if they're Dysons.

We have a good household income. I have (well, husband has) a stand mixer. We have decent pans. We have, wait for it, two sinks.

I burn packet mix cakes.

I use the decent household income to buy ready made cakes. And watch nigella purely for the innuendo.

This is why I would never fit in with the rich. I don't give a toss about any of this stuff. MN is a whole different world to mine.

The only way to relax at a large dinner party you are hosting is to have a hostess trolley (ugly but useful) or have caterers in.

I agree Op.

Things also taste better with nicely weighted cutlery and in decent glasses. Of coursevI still drink stuff out of bog standard ikea ones but I have fantastic glasses with the perfect shape and thickness that makes even plain water taste fabulous.

100% agree OP. It's all those small, barely noticeable elements of privilege that add up to a much easier life.

For those enquiring - my vacuum is a Henry.

The one before came with the rental - didn't make sense to buy own one - and I didn't realise how much better good vacuums were, since the rental one was better than the one I grew up with in my parents home.

@WillowSummerSloth - that is such a perfect summing up - thank you.

It's all those small, barely noticeable elements of privilege that add up to a much easier life.

Hell yes.

I'm still regularly using a Le Creuset casserole and frying pan I was given 40 years ago. Seems like bloody good value to me.

@IfWishesWereFishes - don't tone police me.

You don't have to like me - but I am telling you my truth.

My cakes are better with kit. I'm not judging your choices, your circumstances or your cakes.

I am sharing knowledge. Because old me thought it was my fault for not trying hard enough.

And nobody told me it wasn't. They told me that their cakes are beautiful with a £2.99 hand mixer and Wilko tins.

How do you even flip a le creuset pan to make a Spanish omelette without dislocating your wrist? Last time I made one, I didn't use a cheapy pan but I did use a perfectly decent Meyer pan that I got in a set over 20 years ago. Nothing stuck, unlike when I was using hand me down le creuset as a student. I let my ex keep that stuff because I was so over it.

One of my most used saucepans isn't one of my Meyer pans but a £10 cheapy hairy bikers one from tkmaxx. It's wide and shallow with a vented lid so it doesn't boil over if I'm not paying attention.

Yeah, tone policing isn't a thing.

It's advice. Half the people on this thread don't get what you're trying to say. If you don't want advice, fine, its not compulsory.

@PickAChew - I stick it under the grill to set. Cos it doesn't have a stupid plastic handle

Confusing post. Are you high?

The hosting! I am an effortlessly relaxed host now M&S does the fucking cooking!

...and I didn't realise how much better good vacuums were, since the rental one was better than the one I grew up with in my parents home.

Life is easier when you have common sense and knowledge of the world around you. You don't need any money for that.

I only make normal omelettes but can’t you use a flipper thing? I just use that. Probably the most used thing in kitchen.

@ZenNudist no - I'm not. Is there anything you'd like me to clarify?

@WillowSummerSloth I don't think I would disagree but that's not really the issue here. Why would someone start a thread about how rich and privileged they are? Irrelevant that they weren't always so. And for the OP to be so "look at me, I have money and nice things and I don't struggle any more and I only bake when I can leave the mess for someone else to clear up" is bad taste and quite frankly dickish. And her replies have been digging a bigger hole and even more cringey.

Bully for you, OP. But why are you so insecure about it that you feel the need to crow and gloat?

I have been both poor and comfortable in my life (not rich), and I would never ever want to make anyone else feel lacking, or small, or inferior just because they don't have my income or privilege (such as it is). This thread was started for no other reason than to make the OP feel better about herself (and her gadgets).

@notso - but there it comes again.

It was my fault for not knowing that spending a weeks living budgets on a vacuum cleaner was a smart thing to do.

It was my fault for not timing my shopping to get the end-of-day discounts in Aldi.

It was my fault for not popping back to rotate the cake tin every twenty minutes.

It was my fault for not remembering to preheat the oven half an hour before I needed it.

It was all my fault.

If only I'd tried a little bit harder.

I do understand what the OP is trying to get at.

I learned a lot by cooking for six weeks on a mini oven. The sort that is sold in Argos for equipping bedsits etc. It runs off a normal plug so you can only use the oven OR the hob at any one time. The maximum cooking time is about an hour. It is less powerful so things take longer. It is small, so probably easier to spill things as there is no extra hob space to rest a pan on for a moment. I had to develop whole new ways of cooking family meals and yes, it was harder to cook healthily.

I was doing it while my kitchen was being redone. But it gave me a new understanding of how people living in small/cramped accommodation must struggle to cope.

@BendyLikeBeckham

what is it with having a cleaner clean?

I don't 'make a mess for the cleaner to tidy up'.

I batch cook once a week the day before she comes - which the kids all pitch it with. I make a mess to feed my family - then I employ someone to thoroughly clean the kitchen the day after & try to avoid using it the rest of the week. Its not like egg shells on the floor - but it does need a deep clean after a batch cook.

Do you place the same moral judgement on shedding skin for the cleaner to clean up? Or is dusting okay?