Things I have learnt since becoming rich (a.k.a. fuck you: Nigella and Jamie)

[TheAutumnHere]

1. Having an oven that holds temperature stops cakes falling
2. A stand mixer simplifies baking by a factor of at least 4, and improves the results
3. Branded vacuum cleaners actually remove dirt from the floor
4. Le Creuset pans don't stick, and just wipe clean
5. Baking with children is delightful japes, when timed the morning before the cleaner comes
6. Corn fed chicken is the bomb

Just leaving a note to my past self - who never cut herself any slack and thought she was a slattern and a crap cook.

Ohhh my Nanna would have some words for you OP. She was the best cook and gasp lived in a council house with freebies from the Salvation Army when she first came to England.

But I suppose it comes to some people more naturally than others, without needing additional help. Me not so much, I need all the machines.

I don't even know what a lecreuset is :/ but then again I don't like baking! I can mess up a 99p childrens fairy cake box, how's that for poshness haha. What a random but interesting post, I get it! I would like to be at the posh end so much

Thanks for the chicken, OP. I'll cook it in my inferior pans, in my substandard oven, in my hovel of a kitchen, while I stand and cry about my shitty life

I can afford whatever kit I want to buy. And I have a cleaner. But he difference between us is, I Would Not Ever brag about it, treat them like crap, or hold myself out as better than my former self or anyone else who couldn't afford those things.

If you couldn't be bothered to cook and clean up after yourself in the past, that wasn't because you had inferior equipment was it. It was your mindset.

You are now a self proclaimed Darling of the PTA apparently, and I can imagine you and your mum chums fnar fnar-ing in the playground, twiddling your metaphorical pearls and looking down on and sniggering at the poor women who bring in shop bought cakes, or less than perfect home baked offerings and making them feel humiliated and shitty with "Oh Daaaaaaahling, if only you had a £900 Kitchen Aid mixer, your cakes would be so much better"

It's not the expensive kit, it's the heart and soul that goes into it that really matters.

Baking, humble bragging, class war... this thread is peak Mumsnet.

I have had a few bits of Lecreuset, I can't see how it made a difference to my cooking. Are they a status thing now?

Neither of their recipes make any sense or work if you follow the exact step by step instructions. You need to be an experienced cook to even touch them!

Nothing is anything like as hard, or requires as much skill, if you have the right (read: expensive & modern) equipment.

We've found this again and again with many things.

Wall paper steamer made a huge job much easier - I found cooking easier with the kids when we had a dishwasher. I've been eyeing stand mixers for years - as many freinds have said similar to OP.

I don't think it's always about price sometimes it's knowledge - the rubber broom I bought gets cat hair up like no-one busisness and it wasn't expensive I just had to read abou them (on here) to know that was what was needed.

I didn't know about de-humifiers till we got desperate in a rented house with mould - but me talking about ours got my parents to try one in a downsatirs loo that had had damp problems for decades and finally solved the problem for them.

I have had a few bits of Lecreuset, I can't see how it made a difference to my cooking

They just make it harder ime. Unless you’re putting a pot in the oven in which case the weight doesn’t matter.

I think it's a bit disingenuous to say life isn't easier for people with more money and therefore resources. In Nigella Christmas she gave a recipe for a simple cake made in a fancy Christmas tree tin that looked beautiful and was simple to make, the tin however cost £25 too much for someone on a budget. Now a skilled baker could make an equally pretty cake using simple equipment and ingredients, or you could make a simple cake in a plain tin and it would still taste good, but with the expensive tin a less skilled cook could still make an impressive cake. Money made life easier. That's not to say it's impossible for those with less income but they will need to work harder for the same results.

I use a hand mixer that cost £5. Am an ace baker. Am not poor though.

@IfWishesWereFishes @Lovemenorca @NormaBean

the thing is - all you guys are hating on me (and in a bit of a trolly way, imho) - but you don't know 'me'. You're triggered by the stereotype of the well groomed mum trotting her perfect cakes into the school bake sale. Presumably because this is someone you've seen IRL.

So you know these people exist - but you need them to do a little "I was just born this way" modest shrug and not talk about their journey or experiences?

Telling you that my Spanish omelettes turn out better with waxy potatoes is sharing knowledge - but telling you that they turn out better in le Creuset pans makes you feel bad...? Unlike how you will feel when your omelette turns into a burnt stuck on mess...? (Which it won't - because you're great cooks on Wilko pans).

I don't even know what a lecreuset is

It’s French. My language skills are a tad rusty but I believe it translates to ‘cookware only referred to by its brand name by absolute bellends’ or similar.

I know what you're saying, OP, I do.

It isn't that you couldn't do it at all before, it's just much easier now you have the money to pay for decent kit to do it. You have more disposable time because it takes less time to do the baking/cooking etc. so you can do a better job of it.

Some people do forget that when you really don't have a lot of money it CAN be a lot harder to do the simple things.

Our school run a food drive every year about now, to bring in food for Christmas Hampers for the needy which our local foodbank distribute. The first year was an exercise in people "not understanding" how it can be for people with very little - some really inappropriate items, cooking utensils that required the recipients to have cooking facilities beyond a microwave and kettle, and so on (to say nothing of the half-used or out-of-date goods! ) - now we're provided with a list of things that will actually be useful to the recipients.

More extreme example, I know, and some people can do wonders with not a lot - but if you're not one of them, then having time-saving well-functioning equipment can make a big difference to you.

Oh I can relate so much to May!

I'll also refer you to the Sam Vimes Boots theory of economics:
"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness."
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Which really points out that if you have the money to spend on decent kit in the first place, then you a) get better results and b) spend less long term to keep having better results.

OP
What are you on about? I wasn’t triggered and I gave your thread no thought other than for you because you’d clearly expected the thread to go one way, and instead most have been a bit or laughing at you

the thing is - all you guys are hating on me Oh god I'm embarrassed for you

I understand the need for certain expensive equipment making cooking easier etc I dont understand what you trotting in to school with cupcakes has to do with it.

I kind of agree OP, not so much with the pans (although I love my non-stick Green Pan Wok which cost £££ and still looks new after ten years of almost daily use) but I do love my pyrolytic oven, dishwasher and induction hob (none of which were cheap) because they make the cleaning up far easier. I don't like cooking much (baking is ok though) because it seems so much hassle - anything that makes the whole process quicker and easier to clear up makes me more likely to try new stuff. Having kit that makes cooking easier makes you feel more likely to have a go and that in turn will probably make you a better cook. People who like cooking can turn out good food with the cheapest equipment because they enjoy having a go anyway.

The JO 15/30 mins books do my head in (we've got them because DH is a huge Jaimie fan). It will be a cold day in hell before I serve a 3 course meal for my family, some of the individual dishes look good but I CBA picking my way through to find the relevant instructions and I agree you'd need a good supply of extra pans/food processor etc to achieve his results.

Nigella's recipes don't annoy me so much because she's all for using shortcuts (even if they do bump costs up).

I disagree. Some people could have all the expensive equipment and still couldn't cook anything nice.

No one is triggered by you. They just think your examples make you sound like a bit of dick.

My Grandmother retrained as a 'chef' at catering college in the 1980's - I really don't recall her having any branded cooking pans (bog standard age old iron frying pan) or fancy ovens. She just got on with cooking. Like the generations before.