Feel like I’ve made a massive outfit faux pas at work

[Pantone345]

Today I wore: fitted black poloneck tucked into an A line skirt (about 4 inches off the knee but I am tall!), thick black tights and heeled knee high boots (not over the knee and heels are 3 inches)

Manager made a few comments about my outfit. Asked if I was going out after work and just a few other comments which combined made me think I’ve fucked up!

Public sector, a whole range of clothes from sort of casual to very smart

Nothing wrong with that outfit. Everything was covered, nothing being flashed. Your manager should keep her opinions to herself. It wouldn't be appropriate for a male colleague to comment in that manner about your clothing choices, so I don't know why women think they can make uninvited personal comments.

If the manager thinks your clothes are in anyway inappropriate then they should explain exactly what the problem is, and then you can make the relevant changes. It doesn't have to be done rudely, even though some people may take offense at having their outfit criticised, it is a perfectly legitimate thing to do.

Just making the comments you describe doesn't sound very professional.

Perhaps you just need to ask the manager if there is a problem, you would like to know so that you won't repeat it.

Leggings being worn as trousers are the problem, which often has the side effect of showing far too much underwear to the world and outlines of bum/genitals. Nobody at work should have to be subjected to their colleagues underwear, folds of bum, camel toe etc because a colleague lacks the sense to wear appropriate trousers.

Leggings being worn as leggings under dresses/skirts/tunic tops is entirely standard.

Unfortunately because some people lack the sense to think "hmm maybe going to work with camel toe and my pants on show isn't a good idea" some places have banned leggings, which seems a shame for the majority of female staff who dress properly

Maybe it was too ‘creative’ an outfit to wear in that kind of environment. I think it sounds very Autumnal myself.

Not going to comment on the op’s outfit but I used to work with a woman who dressed in rather a sexy way - blouse unbuttoned so low it showed her lacy bra etc.
She was actually my manager and those who commented to me were mainly men, all of whom said it made them feel uncomfortable.

Con

Neck down photo?

4” above my knee and I’d have my knickers on show 🤣but us shorties can get away with wearing shorter things and looking less provocative, obvious that’s not a bonus when it’s our intention 🙄

Given you probably look sexy & stunning it might not be an ‘office look’ for you 🤷🏻‍♀️But equally it’s not like you’ve gone in, in a knicker slimming skirt and cut away top🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. Enjoy your age & your figure! 😊

"a policy saying no denim does indeed cover black jeans because they are quite clearly jeans"

Well, no, actually, black jeans can often look like trousers until you get close to them. They're not as 'clearly' jeans as lighter coloured jeans.

This is interesting. I am central government and often muse on the unofficial dress code, which for women in my dept is very low key makeup, flats, natural fibres, it is really quite frumpy in a deliberate way. What you wore sounds fine to me but I expect someone was having a dig as it isn't the norm. Fuck them, I say.

Could the OP actually buy a skirt that would be the sort of length that her manager would not comment on, given the awful clothes retailing we have in the UK? That did not cost a fortune?

Yes, ForalltheSaints, there are plenty of skirts around that are not mini skirts.

Well, no, actually, black jeans can often look like trousers until you get close to them
They're jeans.The person buying them and wearing them knows they are quite clearly jeans.

If a grown adult sees a work dress code saying "no denim" and then chooses to act like a petulant teen by buying jeans and argue that doesn't count because they're black then it's ridiculously childish on their part (and no doubt they'd be the first to be a snowflake and complain if someone pulled them up on it).

Sometimes I read adult whining on here and thank my lucky stars I work with teenagers who are by far more perceptive, interesting critical thinkers with a more level head than many adults. Then again I also see these sorts of threads and realise why some schools have endless issues with idiots who see "no trainers" in a uniform policy, only to buy a pair of expensive branded trainers for their child and whine when their DC is told they're not school shoes (bonus marks if they get their sad face in the local press whilst holding the pair of trainers).