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Original poster

Feel like I’ve made a massive outfit faux pas at work

137 replies

Pantone345 · 28/10/2019 21:24

Today I wore: fitted black poloneck tucked into an A line skirt (about 4 inches off the knee but I am tall!), thick black tights and heeled knee high boots (not over the knee and heels are 3 inches)

Manager made a few comments about my outfit. Asked if I was going out after work and just a few other comments which combined made me think I’ve fucked up!

Public sector, a whole range of clothes from sort of casual to very smart

OP posts:
Brefugee · 29/10/2019 07:13

it's entirely appropriate in most workplaces. I've been dressing like that in winter for years and am climbing the corporate ladder very well.

ConFusion360 · 29/10/2019 07:13

The OP's outfit sounds lovely, just not for work

Nobody would bat an eyelid where I work. I can see some jobs where it might be inappropriate though....coal miner, deep sea diver etc.

ncqtime · 29/10/2019 07:16

Sounds fine but did it look a bit dominatrix overall on you perhaps?

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happinessischocolate · 29/10/2019 07:18

I would take it as a compliment that I looked nice.

I made an effort when dressing for work once and my manager assumed I was going for an interview after work and refused to let me have the afternoon off, I didn't make that mistake again 😂

LolaSmiles · 29/10/2019 07:21

ConFusion360
Yes, it would have been fine in some of my previous workplaces too.
But it's been mentioned in the OP's workplace and isn't typical workplace attire as shown by some of the responses here. Some of what I used to wear in a more casual workplace wouldn't be acceptable in my current work, for example.

I think there's a danger on here with work outfits where people tend to say "it doesn't really matter... It's sexist or bullying to mention dress codes... read the dress code to the letter not the principle".

ShirleyPhallus · 29/10/2019 07:25

the other one is 'no one ever says anything to a man' erm they do some men are appallingly bad at reading unwritten rules and take smart casual waaay too far

Also, men are way more limited in what they can wear. Men in my work place can only wear trousers and a shirt, ever.

I’ve seen some shockers from women interpreting the dress code policy - cream see through blouse with a white bra underneath, short school-style skirt with stockings and suspenders visible, little city cropped shorts. And once, management had to pull the entire grad and secretariat level in to tell them that it wasn’t appropriate to wear bikini tops back to the office on hot days Grin

Lllot5 · 29/10/2019 07:28

Depends where you work. The skirt in the pic looks a bit short for work plus the boots.
But like I say depends on where you work.

user12345796 · 29/10/2019 07:30

If I said that to someone at work I would genuinely mean that they looked nice/had made an effort/I really liked the boots etc.

totallyradllama · 29/10/2019 07:35

Knee high boots were in fashion for years then out and now coming back. Your manager is behind the times. Give it another 12mo and everyone will be wearing them again.

Likewise A line minis.

Perhaps the combo together was a bit too trendy at this stage. Don't let your manager sexualise you esp if you were covered up in thick black tights

ConFusion360 · 29/10/2019 07:37

Some of what I used to wear in a more casual workplace wouldn't be acceptable in my current work, for example

I take your point, but how is what is acceptable decided?

glasshalfsomething · 29/10/2019 07:39

What crap. If your manager is making comments about your outfit then it isn’t suitable for the work environment. Do we really have to pass off women picking up women on being unprofessional as “jealous”. Really hmm

Yes, we do if the comments aren’t professional. From the OP the comments weren’t in line with ‘please review the dress code’, but more a personal opinion from someone in a position of authority

lazylinguist · 29/10/2019 07:46

Your outfit sounds fine in the context of how you say people dress generally in your workplace .

If your manager has a genuine problem with what you are wearing, she should take you to one side and factually point out how your outfit fails to meet the rules of the dress code (which it clearly doesn't!), rather than making snarky remarks, which is rude and unprofessional.

BlueJava · 29/10/2019 07:57

It sounds fine to me, but I guess public sector places are quite conservative (never worked there). I'm fortunate enough to work in a place where shorts and flip flops are fine though. If there is a next take ask her to be more specific because you feel you are smart but conservatively dressed.

ThatMuppetShow · 29/10/2019 08:01

“Staff to dress in a manner which avoids provocation or suggestive messages”. 😳😳😳

Burkas all round then?

don't be stupid, that kind of comment and attitude is exactly why the dress code exists. You know perfectly well you work in an office, not a beach bar in Ibiza, you dress appropriately, the reference to burkas is completely inappropriate.

Your skirt sounds too short, especially added with fitted clothes and high boots 🤷

In most offices, can't speak for yours, it would have been perfectly fine with either a longer skirt, or a less fitted outfit/ skirt possibly fine with different top and footwear.

it should be pretty obvious!

Croquembou · 29/10/2019 08:06

it should be pretty obvious!

I guess lots of people are just less aroused by the 4 inches above the knee than you.

LolaSmiles · 29/10/2019 08:07

I take your point, but how is what is acceptable decided?
By the company / organisation. They decide what they want from their staff.

This whole "who decides" feels like an extension of school when the school says plain black trousers, no skinnies or jeans, and then someone kits their kid out in leggings because "it doesn't say they can't wear leggings".

There's pages and pages out there on different professional dress codes. People should look at their dress code, organisational norms and dress accordingly.

ThatMuppetShow · 29/10/2019 08:09

I guess lots of people are just less aroused by the 4 inches above the knee than you.

aroused?
Interesting comment... Clearly from someone who knows how to dress in an office then.

nameymcnamechangeagain · 29/10/2019 08:20

I used to wear short skirts with black tights all the time! I think it sounds suitable and your manager is a nob!

Besidesthepoint · 29/10/2019 08:26

Did your figure recently change? I had a colleague who lost a stone and got to her ideal weight and all of a sudden people men were saying that she was putting on more sexy clothes till some of us pointed out that she was wearing the exact same clothes as the previous few years.

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/10/2019 08:30

The outfit sounds fine to me. It's the manager that sounds weird.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 29/10/2019 08:31

It sounds very casual. Definitely agree with pp about outdoor clothes indoors. But it’s not in any way inappropriate, just not office wear .

EntropyRising · 29/10/2019 08:32

A short skirt + heels + fitted top, + all in black is more club-going than professional.

It's up to you, I wouldn't care if I were your manager, but I'd certainly notice.

If you're wearing a short skirt and heeled boots to work (fine) then you should really wear, for example, a chunky knit jumper or perhaps a cardigan.

If you're wearing a fitted poloneck, then wear trousers or a longer skirt.

Croquembou · 29/10/2019 08:35

Clearly from someone who knows how to dress in an office then

Yes, yes, latex on Wednesdays, that's right, isn't it?

This whole thread is ridiculous (in places). It was a low-mid thigh length skirt with thick tights and a block heel boot. You'd think she went in the Pretty Woman outfit. It might not be to people's tastes but to suggest it's somehow inappropriate in a smart-casual office is ridiculous.

AmIThough · 29/10/2019 08:35

I find knee high boots and short skirts inappropriate for work, personally.

ThatMuppetShow · 29/10/2019 08:36

it doesn't matter what posters think - it's down to your own work environment and what is decided to be acceptable or not.

In some workplace, written or not, the dress code is "trendy" and a suit will be more than frown upon.

In others, it's strictly corporate.

Ultimately, customer facing or not, you are at work surrounded by other people and the company needs to draw a line on the general image they want, and a certain amount of respect and what is reasonably appropriate for all the staff.

We don't even know if the manager was negative, or was just trying to make a compliment. if you doubt your own outfit and are clearly not comfortable enough, it was obviously the wrong one.