Why can’t I hire a cleaner?!

[StinkGhoul]

The house is an absolute bomb site right now. We’ve had a really tough few weeks between our twins (both with additional needs), my own health and lots of stressful things going on. When they’ve been at nursery (3 mornings a week usually but not recently due to appointments and illness) all I want to do is lie down, and then feel awful for being shit at keeping on top of everything. I have zero energy (I have ME and fibro) and DH is also exhausted as we get very little sleep because of the boys.

Every time it gets this bad I think that’s it, I’m finding a cleaner. But I can’t bring myself to do it. Why not? I feel like I shouldn’t need one I guess, like it’s wrong to palm it off on to someone else. And from
January the twins will have more nursery hours so I feel like I need to push on through.

I’m literally only thinking about a couple of hours a week and don’t have any specific expectations of what would need to be done - just do as much as possible to kitchen, bathroom and floors downstairs. I realise the biggest issue is tidying more than cleaning but then if I had a cleaner coming I’d have to tidy wouldn’t I?

Has anyone else felt like this? I feel like a failure for not even being able to clean the bathroom!

Cleaner here!! All my references say I am an asset!!
Get one - make the most of one!!
Get yourself some you time.
You most def sound like you deserve it.
And ffs don't tidy up for one coming!!

Get a cleaner ASAP. You definitely need one in your current circumstances. You're not palming it off on someone else. You are paying someone to do a specific job. That is how they will see it too.

I agree. A lot of them will only do light cleaning (Basically mopping / hoovering / sometimes the washing up) which I could do just as well. I want someone to do the dirty and difficult stuff I can’t or don’t want to and the cleaners who specialise in that kind of deep cleaning need supervision.

This is just it - I know it would really benefit me because the basic stuff (mopping, cleaning the bath etc) uses up all the energy I have and yet I feel ridiculous for needing it. And they’d have to come when the boys are at nursery which means I’d be lying in bed while they clean downstairs which makes me just feel lazy!

I’m going to contact some today, this is really stupid.

In your situation I would get a cleaner once a week. You have enough to do already! There is no need to feel guilty.

If you can afford it I would definitely get one. Don't feel like a failure, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate!

I’m trying to justify it as energy not spent on cleaning is extra energy I can spend on the boys who need a lot of care / interaction. I know it makes sense, it’s just getting over the negative feelings associated. I will definitely contact some.

A definite yes from me. I resisted for ages but things are sooo much easier now I have a weekly cleaner. I literally do a tidy round before she comes and then my house looks and smells great after she has been.

I have a wonderful cleaner who tidies as well as cleans. She does all the day to day maintenance cleaning so house is presentable enough for visitors. I can then do the odd deeper clean as and when needed (rarely!).

I've had a cleaner for most of my married life and I don't feel guilty one bit. I'm paying for a service as I don't want to spend my precious weekends cleaning my house. If you can afford it, just do it. (But good luck with finding one, they are like gold dust).

Some cleaners will tidy too......you can ask until you find one willing.

People with bugger all to do all day hire cleaners and why not if they want to.....cleaners couldn't care less. It's a job that pays money at the end of the day, so don't feel guilty for hiring one.

Remember, it's not YOU hiring a cleaner......it's the household. It's not solely your responsibility to keep the house clean.

Just do it. Life's too short.

No need for guilt. My wife and I have a 15 month old and cleaning not being a strength of either of us (particularly me), hire a cleaning company. I think the cost is £12 per hour and 2 hours a week.
Money well spent.

Once it is in place, it will make things easier.

Best thing to do when you get this 'low' is to get a cleaning company in to do a deep clean and blitz and then you can get back on track.
You don't have to have one each week.

It's weird isn't it? The 'I should do it myself' guilt.

I'm nearly 7m pregnant, with hyperemesis, just showering makes me dizzy ffs and yet I'm uhming and aarging about whether to get someone to come and do a deep clean before the baby comes in Jan.

Sounds like you need someone in to deep clean, and then a regular cleaner to keep on top of it.

When you ring around, ask for a housekeeper, as they will do other things such as tidy, ironing, making beds ect.
Cleaners will only expect to ...clean.

Just get one, it will help lift the heavy load of cleaning and it also refreshes my mind each week to walk in to a spotless house.

Don’t feel guilty. I also have ME and fibro, and if I had small twins under my feet, I’d need a cleaner too. As it is I have two teens, a small flat, and we just about muddle through together. I have and would consider a cleaner in the future though.

When you ring around, ask for a housekeeper, as they will do other things such as tidy, ironing, making beds ect.
Cleaners will only expect to ...clean.

Our cleaner also takes in ironing, and every cleaner we've had so far has been perfectly happy to change beds, so that's not necessarily a given. I think most cleaners who iron tend to mention this in their details, but I've seen quite a few who do advertise this as a service.

Tidying I think is usually a different matter since some cleaners don't like to move things around. I've always vaguely assumed that they don't want the hassle of being involved if something goes missing.

If you can afford a cleaner then I would get one in your circumstances! I have one that comes twice a month and she also tidies and she will do other things if I ask like change beds, hang washing up etc.
You can ask around, maybe in the first visit ask for a tidy/organise. Then depending on how often you want the cleaner, then request thorough cleaning.
Once you can see the house clean and organized, you'll be able to function better and do it yourself in between visits!

I think paying for a deep clean first is a good idea.

Both of the twins receive DLA and I think using a small amount of this so I can use that time and energy on them instead would be a good use of it. I need to do a lot of organising before a deep clean can happen though.

All cleaners we've had have cleaned, tidied (within reason, we nearly always have a tidy up first), made and changed beds. Most have ironed except a couple who admitted they were terrible at it so didn't like to offer it.

You should definitely get one, no guilt. I've got health problems too, though I usually look ok, and if I cleaned the house I would have no energy to cook for family, play with children. It makes sense to outsource the cleaning and I feel no guilt. As long as you are a fair employer I don't see how it can be construed as doing anything wrong.

Get a cleaner if you can afford it. You have a lot on your plate and there is no reason why YOU have to do it all. You probably can’t bring yourself to do it because you feel guilty or inadequate for not doing it yourself. Bollocks to that. Get a cleaner!

I only have one child, work three days a week and employed a cleaner a few weeks ago.

Best thing I’ve ever done. She focuses on kitchen, bathrooms and floors/ vacuuming. She is happy to do tidying too which is great.

In the nicest possible way, stop being a martyr and give yourself a break! Sound like you need it.