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Original poster

Why can’t I hire a cleaner?!

53 replies

StinkGhoul · 28/10/2019 13:24

The house is an absolute bomb site right now. We’ve had a really tough few weeks between our twins (both with additional needs), my own health and lots of stressful things going on. When they’ve been at nursery (3 mornings a week usually but not recently due to appointments and illness) all I want to do is lie down, and then feel awful for being shit at keeping on top of everything. I have zero energy (I have ME and fibro) and DH is also exhausted as we get very little sleep because of the boys.

Every time it gets this bad I think that’s it, I’m finding a cleaner. But I can’t bring myself to do it. Why not? I feel like I shouldn’t need one I guess, like it’s wrong to palm it off on to someone else. And from
January the twins will have more nursery hours so I feel like I need to push on through.

I’m literally only thinking about a couple of hours a week and don’t have any specific expectations of what would need to be done - just do as much as possible to kitchen, bathroom and floors downstairs. I realise the biggest issue is tidying more than cleaning but then if I had a cleaner coming I’d have to tidy wouldn’t I?

Has anyone else felt like this? I feel like a failure for not even being able to clean the bathroom!

OP posts:

SimonJT · 28/10/2019 15:45

Get one, I’ve had a cleaner for the last six years, it’s great.

My cleaner comes twice a week, she lightly cleans everywhere and does a deep clean in one room per week. She also does most of my laundry and changes the bedding.

Lovemenorca · 28/10/2019 15:47

Single parent
Two primary children
Very clean tidy 3 bed because I’m uptight.

I still Have a cleaner for 4 hours a week!

Jaxhog · 28/10/2019 15:51

Do it!! I don't have your challenges and I have a cleaner (she does the ironing too). It takes a little while to get used to someone else doing the cleaning, but you will never regret it, believe me.

Interested in this thread?

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Cleaning

MoodLighting · 28/10/2019 16:00

We have a cleaner in once a fortnight as DH has fibromyalgia too and doesn't find it way, and I hate to be left with all the shit wife work.

BloodyCats · 28/10/2019 16:02

I’m a cleaner and I couldn’t care less if you are laying in bed while I clean. As long as you pay me it doesn’t make a difference what you are doing.

BlingLoving · 28/10/2019 16:04

Get a cleaner. I don't understand how society has managed to convince women that having a cleaner is something to be ashamed of. Mine changes the bedding and when i casually mentioned this to a group of mums once they were shocked. I could see them all* thinking, "Oh my god, she's so lazy". I just couldn't understand it.

*except one - who texted me a few weeks later to say she'd asked her cleaner to up her time by half an hour and do the bedding as well and it has changed her life.

Chanadan · 28/10/2019 16:11

I recommend bright and beautiful Dulwich. Look it up

FusionChefGeoff · 28/10/2019 16:16

Would it make you feel any better by saying up front that due to several health conditions / disabilities you need a cleaner? And again, from the start warn them that you may need to be resting / in bed when they are here. Tackle is head on so you don't feel bad when they are with you.

raspberryk · 28/10/2019 16:30

Once you're comfortable with them, you could have them clean in the few hours you are usually out with the twins- do you go to a weekly tots group or have a regular play date with a friend?

Original poster

StinkGhoul · 28/10/2019 16:33

I worry far too much about what others think! You’re right, I should tell them up front that I have health issues and need to rest, I’m sure it’s not an uncommon situation.

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 28/10/2019 16:41

Do it op. Pay for a deep clean and then hire a cleaner for maintenance cleans. Be upfront that you have medical issues and will need to rest when they're here.

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 28/10/2019 16:45

DH and I have no kids and no health issues and we have a cleaner.

Best.Thing.Ever.

Mrsforeverclean · 28/10/2019 17:34

Do it ! You need help ! Everyone needs a little help ! I’m a cleaner and enjoy helping people making their homes for them!

frustratedashell · 28/10/2019 17:43

Hi OP, I'm a cleaner. You're not being lazy. You need to look after yourself, if you fall apart the whole pack of cards comes tumbling down. If you can afford it, do it. A deep clean first is a great idea. If you explain your situation they would probably help you tidy up too. Good luck x

Original poster

StinkGhoul · 28/10/2019 18:21

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the responses. Sudden dental infection has thrown off my day but as soon as I’m up to it I’ll start looking at some reviews etc.

I wouldn’t expect someone to do much tidying as I know it’s hard to know where things go - but chucking anything I’ve missed into the toy box would be handy!

Will bring it up with DH - every time I’ve said I’m thinking about it in the past he says he will do more cleaning but there just isn’t the time. He’s working full time, parenting when he’s not working and as sleep deprived as I am. Only difference is his health is okay, but we are both suffering from being so exhausted. I think it’s best if I just tell him I’m doing it!

OP posts:

MoltonSilver · 28/10/2019 18:34

From what you've described, you absolutely should hire a cleaner. You've got enough on your plate.

blahblahblahblahhh · 28/10/2019 18:40

Love my cleaner would sell my kidney to keep her!

Lovemenorca · 28/10/2019 18:44

Get a cleaner. I don't understand how society has managed to convince women that having a cleaner is something to be ashamed of

What are you on about??

Society hasn’t done a bloody think to convince women they shouldn’t have a cleaner. You can’t open a thread on mumsnet without a poster recommending the OP get a cleaner

Read this thread - most of us are happy, even proud, to say they have a cleaner. And same applies amongst my friends and family.

No shame from any quarter

However that’s not to say that individuals may not feel a bit ashamed, as the OP does, but nothing to do with “society”!

Chewysmum · 28/10/2019 19:01

I have one, and I don't tidy before she comes, she tidies, hoovers, mops, all surfaces Inc mirrors, shelves etc, inside of windows once a month, whole bathroom and kitchen worktops/sink etc.. Empties bins etc too if they need it. All in 2 hours once a week. Totally worth it because that would take me 3 hours per day, every day. I still tidy a bit every day and hoover/mop most days and still clean the kitchen every day but most things I leave to her.
If I was you, I'd ask for an extra session on the first week (they usually want to do a deep clean if it needs it) then the 2 hours per week after that should be perfect.
You deserve to spend this time and energy with your babies, you won't get it back. I can't really afford a cleaner but I choose to forego new clothes etc so I can have one. Best decision I've made. Just be careful who you hire, and on her first day, be sure to explain exactly what you want done and what you don't, and which products to use. I always make sure I'm out when mine comes, just easier that way as my toddler isn't at nursery so we would be getting in the way. Maybe you could explain you're exhausted and ask her to not clean your bedroom so you can just hide in your bed while she's working. Whatever you do, don't hover, I know a few cleaners and they can't stand it, generally makes them nervous and if they don't like the work then it won't work out between you.
Wish you luck x

666onmyhead · 28/10/2019 19:20

My cleaner totally loves it, the messier the better as she sees more of a difference. She's in her element when we've had a party! I feel guilty so help ( if not too hung over ) but you need to rest so you can channel energy into your boys . So hire a cleaner and give yourself a break.

pinksparkleunicorns · 28/10/2019 19:31

Fellow SN mum here. Sorry I haven't read the full thread. BUT 100% get a cleaner. It's a life changer. You will gain so much energy from it. And don't feel guilty, even with2 hours a week there will still be loads of shit for you to tidy and clean in between (it won't last all week unfortunately but at least I feel it's manageable!!!)

We used to use a single mum as she was cheaper and so I felt I could justify it more. But she couldn't do very much in the holidays which is when I needed her most as we were home every day. Also she had to miss weeks for illness, holidays, and then there were some bloody awful excuses for not coming - once 'we are having our fence fixed' or 'it's hot'. I felt terrible as I like supporting local small business but going with a big company was a great shout. More pricey but they turn up every week at the right time, stay the full two hours and do a blooming good job. There's a lot of things I'd give up first now before the cleaner because it benefits us all, not just me.

Wynston · 28/10/2019 20:39

Cleaner here op.....I never judge my clients personal situations I am there to do a job.....I love to think that my time in their home makes life just that bit easier for them.

I dont care if my time is spent doing a deep clean of one area or a whole house.
Its easy to work around people so if they have taken themselves of to bed and dont mind the hoover going then I have no issue with that.
I often think I should have a cleaner......so much easier cleaning someone elses home!!

parrotonthesofa · 28/10/2019 22:08

I have twins. One with a severe disability. Don't have any health issues myself though. After struggling to keep on top of things for a couple a years because I felt I should do it, I got a cleaner a few months ago. Two hours a week. I am SO glad I did it!!!!

Love51 · 28/10/2019 22:26

OP I just wanted to add that understand how you haven't hired a cleaner yet. I couldn't do it without a vague sense of letting the side down. So I live in a slightly messy house instead! At the moment you have small twins, I can't think of a better time. And when they are bigger you will be in the habit of having a cleaner and will be able to continue. I wish I had bitten the bullet when mine were small! Be your present and future friend and her someone over!

EnidButton · 29/10/2019 01:32

You can't just push through with ME and fibromyalgia because, as you know, it's not like you can rest and make up for it like you could if you were well. Having a cleaner will benefit your health so worth every penny.

You don't need to do anything more than your absolute best which you're already doing every single day. Get a cleaner.

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