simple survey

[irregularegular]

A very simple survey.

1. How many of your grandparents are still living?
2. How many of your parents are still living?
3. (your age, if you wish)

There is something I am particularly interested in, but I won't say what it is as I don't want to skew the answers!

1
2
27

None
One
57

None
Both
36

0, 1, 38

0
2
47

Me: 1 2 29
Dh: 0 1 35

0
1
57

0
1
60

1
1
46

0
1
59

0
1
35

My dad died almost 2 years ago, but it still feels very recent and raw. Reading all these replies I can’t help but feel bitterly jealous of all the people who are older than me and still have both parents. Stupid of me, I know, but I guess I still have a lot of grief to deal with.

minorityreports

I already explained why I was asking.

MummyInTheNecropolis I am sorry to hear that. It isn't easy. I'm sometimes resentful of older people just for being alive! (ridiculous I know). I'm even grumpy about my grandmother being alive (she has quite advanced dementia, doesn't really know who we are and clearly takes no pleasure out of life, so not as harsh as it sounds)

Quite a lot of friends my age have lost one parent, but two is still quite rare. My poor sister is the same age as you and has lost both her parents, whereas among her peers it is relatively rare to have lost any, which I think does make it harder. Fortunately she has good relationships with her ILs so her young children have very caring and active grandparents still.

All these feelings are perfectly normal I think. Though if you are getting "stuck" on them and dragging them down you might want to talk to someone about it?

@MummyInTheNecropolis (and @irregularegular) - I still find that the hardest thing and my dad died 8 years ago. He was a hands on devoted grandfather to mine and db's children. As was dh's sfil who died in the same year. And yet fil still goes on and has very little to do with any of his grandchildren.

I remember my DC1 in the early stages of her grief literally stamping her feet at the unfairness of it and not knowing how to respond as she was spot on! It really isn't fair and it does feel a lot of the times that the 'wrong 'uns' do indeed make a pact with the devil!! All I can add is that my experience is that the grief feelings never go but the time between them surfacing grow longer. Not sure that last line makes sense but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.