Would you judge a mum with a 3 yo in a buggy?

[itseasybeingcheesy]

My 3.5 yo is flagging massively on the 2 mile circuit of a school/nursery run we have. She can't manage to scoot or bike the journey as she isn't great on either.

I've got a 3 month old baby in the pushchair at the moment but could put him in a sling and put her in buggy but I wonder if people would be judgy about an older child in a buggy? Or alternatively I've got a sling I can back carry her in and keep baby in pushchair. Would that be judged even I more? I'm not sure why I care but I do.

It wasnt until I joined MN that I even knew there was an upper age limit for buggies, I never heard anyone in RL voice any opinion on it at all when my DC were toddlers

Of course not- I wouldn't probably even notice.

coconuttelegraph
Whereas for me it wasn't until MN that I realised people honestly think it's reasonable to put a 5 year old in a buggy to go to Disney for a holiday.

I think we all live in the bubble of out own experience.

I find buggies older than 3 to be unusual because it wasn't the norm when I grew up and it's not the norm where ive lived as an adult, but if I'd lived in an area where it was the norm then it probably wouldn't seem unusual.

My son is 4 at Christmas and I still use the pushchair on the walk to school with his older brother. It's less than a mile but along a main road and I don't have the time or inclination to drag him along! His brother dawdles enough as it is! Much easier to throw him in the pushchair and race down there and back.

IHRTFT BUT:

I think that unless a mum is doing something terrible to hurt her child right in front of your eyes, you have no bloody right to judge. So no, I wouldn't.

You're doing what you need to do to get things done.

I do agree that a buggy board would be the best option though, as there is always the temptation to just sit in the buggy if it's there - and if they decide to walk you're just going to be pushing an empty buggy.

No judging here, and to be honest I think anyone who would judge really needs to find something more important to think about.

Honestly OP - just do it. In a few years’ time you’ll look back and wonder what you were worried about.

I don't think I would judge but - I've got a buggy board I don't like (it keeps getting in the way of my feet and makes the single buggy big), a not very good double buggy and a sling my 4 month old and I don't like to wear for long - I encourage my 2 year old to walk/scooter where possible so i can have the baby in the buggy.

I would recommend encouraging your 3.5 year old to walk/scooter/ride her bicycle, but of course you should do what works best for you and your family.

No judgement whatsoever. They are still so little at 3!

I think a buggy feels a bit like the easy way out and won't help with building up stamina to walk longer.

How about a buggy board or keeping a sling in the buggy and when it gets too much you put her on your back?

A friend carried her toddlers quite a long time on the back when they got tired but found that offering it when it really didn't go anymore with walking. Bit by bit her DS managed longer stretches.

We take a buggy for my little sister who's 8 when we go on long days out because she's quite poorly but you wouldn't know it to look st her. Makes me sad that people would judge her ☹️

No my dd was in the buggy until she started school!

Seriously why would you care what anyone else thinks?!

Some toddlers are fine walking for miles and some like my dd really struggled, she would walk a fair bit but also liked snuggling in the buggy and still napped in it til age 4!!

She is now a fit and healthy teen who runs, swims, horse rides etc so 🤷‍♀️

Both of mine used buggies as needed until 4. They're great walkers/ runners now. 8 yo has a 32min pb at parkrun, 6 yo has a 37min pb. Walking wasn't a great chore to them because they could build it up at their pace and get a ride if a faster pace was necessary or if they were tired.

I'd rather a 4 yo hops in and out of a buggy as needed and does some walking, than be ferried door to door by car like many children are.

Around DS1 being 2, I had a phase where he HAD to walk as I had SPD and could no longer push a pram/ trolley, then I got crutches and couldn't cope with reins either. That was tough as he got tired easily and if he had a meltdown about it, we were stuck there until it wore off. It was a relief when I could finally use a pram again.

Sorry to have not replied sooner the evening has ran away with me!

We have a big board that she will happily stand on!

My problem with that is she is 18kg and tall and I can't cope with the walk much longer as I have asthma and our school is in a valley so there is an uphill stint both ways. It seems so much harder to push when she is on a board due to the way the weight is distributed and turning it is hard!

I've just been trying to delay her getting on the board as long as possible so far and then huffing through the uphill stretch but I won't be able to do it much longer I don't think.

Thanks for the advice. I might just have to be stoic and ignore any judgy looks and accept that a buggy for her with little one in the sling will be easier to cope with.

I'm not a total dickhead so no, I wouldn't judge you

Do what you gotta do Mama

Buggy board not big board!

I just asked DH which option he thought would be best given that he knows the route and he said "you know everyone is going to give you filthy looks either way" FFS.

I occasionally used a buggy for longer trips at that edge, especially when they were tired. I don't drive, and 3year olds can't walk as far as an adult. Long time ago now ( mum of teens) but I think I had stopped using it by the time they were 4.

The amount of year 1 kids at my DDs school I see sat in pushchairs on the walk home, and they're 5/6 years old so no I wouldn't judge because you have no idea what kind of day that child has had.

My problem with that is she is 18kg and tall and I can't cope with the walk much longer as I have asthma and our school is in a valley so there is an uphill stint both ways. It seems so much harder to push when she is on a board due to the way the weight is distributed and turning it is hard!

You are going to struggle pushing that buggy and that weight with the baby too.

Forget other people judging you, for your own sake you should get her walking.

I have MS. No way could I dawdle or carry or any of the other things on my hilly route to nursery. Pushchair. No one gave me funny looks. She's 12 now. Walks everywhere.

If you're able to, I thoroughly recommend a 2nd hand Phil and Ted's Dash - huge seat back (68cm, tallest I've found) and weight limit of 25kg. 3 wheeler, light to push.

And the Dash can be a double if needed.

Please dont worry about anyone [email protected] heaps for your daughter to walk-life isnt an endurance test ffs-(they can chose that path when theyre older)..I had1in huge jogging buggy til4 as it was 8ks roundtrip..so she walked about3 then in&looking at the scenery/eating/sleeping as i jogged her there&picked her up&jogged home..Its all good..if i tried to take a day off she hated it😂Grow a thick skin&dont buy a ticket for the"mum olympics" no-one wins xx

Anyone giving filthy looks in the street needs to get a grip OP.

Though as a PP said, given your asthma and the weight, it may be worth trying to build up some more walking for her for your own health and wellbeing as come cold mornings that could be really nasty for your chest.

Loads of mums at my daughters nursery use buggies.

I would also recommend a buggy board but do whatever makes your life easier and dont worry about what anyone else thinks!