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Original poster

Do 8 yr olds know about sex?

80 replies

Villanellebelle · 14/10/2019 16:44

Following on from another thread where the general consensus was that 8 yr olds know about sex, I was quite surprised. I have an 8 yr old boy and it didn't cross my mind that I should be having the talk with him yet! Should i be? What do you tell them at this age? Any good resources out there?

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 14/10/2019 16:45

Yes, they should. And mine did.

Original poster
Villanellebelle · 14/10/2019 16:47

And what did you tell him? Ie just about how their body will change or do I tell him what couples do? I'm clueless, I thought I had another year or 2

OP posts:
Allyg1185 · 14/10/2019 16:49

No they shouldn't. My son is 8 and has no clue. He knows what male and female parts are called and where babies come from but that is all for just now. He's a child and I want him to retain his innocence and childhood for a while longer

megletthesecond · 14/10/2019 16:51

vill a book called "Where willy went" when they were at infant school. It's just biology.

Original poster
Villanellebelle · 14/10/2019 16:51

What do you tell them about where babies come from?

OP posts:
PaquitaVariation · 14/10/2019 16:52

Knowing about sex doesn’t make him less innocent, it just makes him safer. Yes, 8 year olds do and should know about sex, obviously in an age appropriate way. There are lots of books you can buy to give you a starting point.

megletthesecond · 14/10/2019 16:52

So, both. How babies are made, come out and how bodies change.

Original poster
Villanellebelle · 14/10/2019 16:55

I'll have a look for that book, and if anyone has any other recommendations that would be great Smile

OP posts:
WTCT · 14/10/2019 16:56

Amazing You is a good one to talk through body changes.

Shopkinsdoll · 14/10/2019 16:58

Nope my son hasn’t a clue

whywhywhy6 · 14/10/2019 17:06

Yes. I told my children bits and pieces along the way from when they were very young, in an age appropriate way, as it came up in conversation. So I have never had to have a sit down discussion with a book etc. So, when a friend had a baby when my kids were toddlers we spoke about the baby growing and how it comes out. When they asked how it got in I gave a very (extremely!) brief explanation. As they got older some gaps were filled in like body changes, how they link to reproduction etc.

in fairness, I have one child that just kept asking questions so answering them bit by bit was easy, but the other would never ask a thing so found out by listening to my responses to the other child.

Now (aged 8 & 10) they ask me questions about what things mean that they’ve heard at school so it’s open discussion.

Catsbollox · 14/10/2019 17:09

My ds is 7 and hasn't got a clue about sex, won't be telling him anytime soon, unless he asks. DN is 10 and just starting to quietly ask around the topic now. Ds asked about where babies actually came from this year and had a few questions so I answered in a way he'd understand and he was quite happy and carried on playing with his Lego.

I think as long as you keep the communication open so they can always just ask and just do it in a matter of fact way, so no gasping/laughing/crying/'where did you hear that from?!', then you'll not go far wrong. My motto is if he's old enough to be thinking of the questions, he's old enough to get an honest answer. Try not to worry!

GloriaMaximus · 14/10/2019 17:09

The school had 'the talk' last year when dc was in year 3. He learnt about sex, gender, sexuality, puberty etc. I decided to explain myself a week before the lesson took place so he wasn't shocked/embarrassed.

Catsbollox · 14/10/2019 17:11

^^To be clear we've also covered things along the way, so how m/f bodies are different, how babies grow, bodies change, the seed comes from dad etc, so hopefully won't be a big jump to answering a few questions when they come!

Legomadx2 · 14/10/2019 17:13

No they don't need to know at eight FGS! No need at all!

Poor children have years ahead of them for all that. All of mine at eight were playing bloody Lego, with not a clue about sex.

Camomila · 14/10/2019 17:14

I think DM gave me a vague 'naked cuddle' talk when I was 5 or 6, by 8 I knew all the technical stuff because I was a geeky kid and had a big childrens encyclopedia/and inside the human body type books that I loved.

PullingMySocksUp · 14/10/2019 17:14

Mine knew at seven or eight how babies were made. Not ‘what couples do’.

Camomila · 14/10/2019 17:19

I don't think it makes DC lose their innocence/childhood - to a 6/7/8 year old it should be the same as learning how your body uses food or why some animals have babies and some lay eggs.

Michaelbaubles · 14/10/2019 17:21

DS is 8 and knows the whole egg meets sperm thing and where babies come out and how they grow but has stayed relatively incurious about how it all actually happens so I’m leaving it there for the time being. I guess if he still hasn’t asked in a year or so we can talk, or they will cover it at school, but I don’t see the need to bring it up if he’s not interested in knowing yet.

SimonJT · 14/10/2019 17:22

My son is four and knows that the dad puts his penis inside the mums vagina to make a baby, but if I asked him what sex was I’m not sure he would know as I have said that’s how babies are made, rather than it being sex.

A friend had a baby earlier in the year and he wanted have ‘a look’ at the baby when she was pregnant as she had told him where the baby will come out 😂

I don’t see the big deal, sex is a completely normal thing, the general british attitude around sex is a bit odd.

Trewser · 14/10/2019 17:24

Mine knew from a scientific viewpoint ie how babies were made and how they grew and where they came out.

They didn't need to know anything for 'safety reasons'.

Zoflorabore · 14/10/2019 17:25

I have an 8yr old dd and I’m very open with her, we have talked through periods/puberty etc and she knows about gender issues as someone in our local shop is TG and she asked me lots of questions.

When she was little we told her there was a seed that the lady takes and she knows there are 2 ways out. She does not know about sex yet but if she asked me I would tell her. I will probably have “the talk” with her during this school year.
I’m worried she will tell others who don’t know though. She said hardly any of her friends know what periods are.

INeedSleepToo · 14/10/2019 17:26

My ds7 knows where babies come from as in he knows sperm comes from a mans testicles and has to meet a egg inside a woman to grow. Understands about pregnancy and birth due to a large age gap between dc’s. He hasn’t, as yet, asked me about the exact specifics of it. I don’t think he knows but if he thought it through properly I guess he’d come to the correctish conclusion.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 14/10/2019 17:28

There's "knowing about sex" and "knowing how babies are made" though isn't there.

All kids should be told as a matter of course growing up about their bodies, the different parts, what they do, what makes what. Knowing about sex is a bit more broad, and imo covers sex as an activity rather than just for reproduction.

Crystal87 · 14/10/2019 17:30

I told mine when he was 10. He knew bits and pieces up until then as didn't want to overload him, but he's had sex education now, where they learned about puberty, but not about intercourse, so we discussed that at home. I didn't make a big deal about having the talk, rather just let the natural conversation lead up to it and I explained about sex in basic terms.