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Original poster

Come celebrate your ONLY CHILD

136 replies

MarthasGinYard · 13/10/2019 17:48

Apparently

They can be....

'Rude'

'Lack awareness'

'Spoilt'

'Unable to share'

'Lack manners'

'Lack stimulation'

'Socially reclusive'

And funniest of all they lead some kind of Mr Bean existence, sitting on a crate eating supper alone every night crying and neglected 😉

In reality my DC in fucking awesome in every way shape and form....

What about yours?

OP posts:
lazylinguist · 15/10/2019 08:14

Weird. I don't have an only child, but I'm a teacher and have taught gazillions of children, including of course plenty of only children. I have noticed that they are.... .... just normal children like those with siblings. People do indeed talk a lot of nonsense!

whycantIthinkofadecentusername · 15/10/2019 08:37

I love this thread. DS is an only child and I get these kind of comments all the time. In reality he is:

Kind and caring.
Shares.
Has so many friends it's like I have adopted children.
Has many interests.
Is independent.
Funny.
Loving.
Something to be celebrated, not put down.

Winesalot · 15/10/2019 09:17

In the insanity that is the only-child shaming other thread, i decided to turn to google and I came across this in Sydney Morning Herald (why does society judge single child families so harshly?)

There are, however, many studies that speak about the positives of only children: for example, finding them to be more creative, more motivated and to have higher self-esteem, which could be down to the level of parental attention.

Let’s continue to celebrate our onlies.

fussychica · 15/10/2019 09:30

Only with an only here. DS is 27 and a lovely man. He has always been lovelyGrin. Easy baby, easy child and teen except the X Box rows Now has a good job and has a delightful girlfriend and I love spending time with him. No regrets here.

RomanMum · 15/10/2019 09:53

What fantastic comments. So glad I haven't found the other thread.

My DC is clever, loving and caring towards family and friends. It's been a difficult couple of years with MIL's illness, passing, and aftermath, dealing with house etc (DH is an only too) but she has shown incredible resilience, empathy and maturity. Our relationship is so strong. While I like having alone time (benefits of only having one!) time with her is so special.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 15/10/2019 09:56

Does it count if your only child now has step brothers? Is she still an only child?

Mine is kind, outgoing, confident, sensible, well-mannered and just all-round awesome!

Timeywimey10 · 15/10/2019 10:02

The other thread is ridiculous. The thing that annoys me more than anything is the blithe assumption that you should just put yourself through pregnancy as if it's nothing (and that also assumes no fertility issues). If more people thought about whether having a(nother) child was a good thing, we'd be in a better place I think.

I see so many frazzled mothers of 3+. What on earth is the point, unless you are really maternal?

PrincessDaff · 15/10/2019 10:24

I am so happy to see this thread. I have nearly 3 year old DS who is and will stay an only and all I hear is awww you need to give him a sibling!! You will change your mind! I wont!!!

I hate that people also assume that its because he was a terrible baby. He wasn't. He is the funniest, cheekiest most amazing person I have ever met. He has a memory like an elephant and is if anything an over sharer. When his cousins come and cry because they want something he is playing with he will give it to them no problem, doesn't even bat an eyelid just picks up another toy and carries on.

TemporaryPermanent · 15/10/2019 10:34

Not going to touch the other thread...it is frightening sometimes to hear what people assume about onlies if they don't know you have one.

My 15 year old ds is spoilt if you think being the apple of your mum's eye is being spoilt. Do they even have this concept except in the UK?? But otherwise, his dad was ill all his life and is now dead. He saw things no child should see. I think he has missed out in some ways as he would have been a great brother. He's NOT spoilt. He is a startlingly mature, thoughtful, friendly and empathetic child with a strong sense of family and community and a kickass level of intelligence. He's a team player, self deprecating, optimistic and loving. I adore him more than words can say and the person who marries him will be equally awesome I'm sure, because I cant really imagine him making a bad decision.

Rowgtfc72 · 15/10/2019 10:40

Dd is 12 and funny, clever and caring. You can put her in a room with strangers and they will all be friends within half an hour. At primary she was always given the new starters to look after.
She is an only by our choice and we are very, very proud of her.
I think unless you have an only you will only ever see it from the outside and not understand that my only child is exactly the same as someone elses one of three!

imclaustrophobicdarren · 15/10/2019 11:02

I love how my DS loves me :) we snuggle and snuggle more than anything and he's forever telling me how much he loves me. He's also got a wicked sense of humour for a 5yo! I don't even think I could love another child like I love him Halo

TheDogsMother · 15/10/2019 11:43

My mum is not on here to speak up for me so I will say it. I'm an only and I'm excellent Grin

suspended · 15/10/2019 11:46

Mine is:

Loud
Clever
Funny
Silly
A lovely singer
A brilliant actor
Physical
Nurturing
Emotionally attentive
Mature

caperplips · 15/10/2019 12:03

Those threads and ridiculous assumptions really annoy me!
We have an 'only' almost 14 year old. Not by choice, but we are fine with it now and really see all the advantages.

She is super bight and doing brilliantly in school. Her school reports all say how emotionally mature and polite she is 'a joy to teach'.

She has a great circle of friends and is very much the peace-keeper as she just doesn't bicker with them they way some of them slip into more sibling roles with each other.

She is generous, actually to a fault - always sharing her stuff and any money she has for treats with her friends.

She is great company and very very articulate.

We both work full time but she has plenty of quality time with us and also has a fantastic social life. She has a hobby that she adores and we can indulge her in as there is more money to go around (horse riding)

She has travelled extensively both long haul and all across Europe. We are just entering the phase where she can bring a pal with her on shorter trips and I personally think this is FAR more fun for her than travelling with a younger sibling!

We are very lucky to have her and really appreciate being a family and cherish our lives together. We're hugely proud of her.

mrswhiplington · 15/10/2019 15:49

I was 40 when I had DD. I worried about her being an only child. I needn't have worried. She is 18 next week and I couldn't be more proud of her. Sweet natured, lots of friends, caring, funny, gentle. Can be infuriating too, just like any other child. I grew up as the youngest of four children and there are many times I wished I was an only one. I can't believe I produced such a lovely person.

mrswhiplington · 15/10/2019 15:51

That should read "me and DH produced such a lovely person."Grin

Original poster
MarthasGinYard · 15/10/2019 15:52

'That should read "me and DH produced such a lovely person."'

Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
MarthasGinYard · 15/10/2019 15:54

It's also lovely reading how these teens are turning out....

Who'd have thought it ehShockWink

OP posts:
xJune88 · 15/10/2019 15:59

Glad I've seen this thread, Im currently worried about DD been an only (shes only 5 months). Always envisaged 2 but after 2 losses, an awful pregnancy, reduced movements, awful labour and first few months (illness, reflux) I'm glad to know if we decide on just her she and us will be fine. X

Pashazade · 15/10/2019 16:03

This is a great thread, I'm an only, with an only and DH is happy with one, but that's probably because he was one of six, although perhaps miraculously they are all lovely human beings and family gatherings are great. So I married into a big family but never felt the need for a sibling. DS is totally awesome and a complete individual but very empathetic and sharing is never an issue!

sheshootssheimplores · 15/10/2019 16:13

DP is an only child and he is one of the most loving people I know. I love the lack of drama in his family. I don’t get on with my sibling and he is sympathetic but obviously hasn’t experienced similar so thinks the whole thing is bonkers. As a child he did want a sibling but now he’s just grateful to be an only. I wish I had also been an only. My childhood would have been a lot happier.

OhIKnew · 15/10/2019 16:18

My dd was voted nicest girl of the year in her school (by some made up thing her peers decided on) aged 15 a week ago. A horrible nasty only child.

She's bossy, that's true, but if she were the eldest she probably would be too. Other than that, I see nothing that would indicate she was an only child.

Oh - she doesn't like me showing affection to her cousins. Doesn't happen often as they live on another continent.
If anything she probably shares more, as she has never had to share, so she'll give to someone who hasn't something.

She is supremely confident of my love for her and there is no sibling rivalry. She is quite confident that she is her favourite child lol.
She's quite used to adult conversations as she was reared around non-children families.

She is kind to children younger than her - I guess she never had to fight with them. (She told me she doesn't like babysitting though and gave her charge her ipad last week).
She's very used to being the only voice heard I guess, so is confident. She has never had to fight for space.

In her future, I worry that she won't have siblings. I don't have close siblings though so I guess she can get by. Her friends are her everything.

ErrolTheDragon · 15/10/2019 16:42

My DD is pretty much the inverse of all the descriptors in the OP.

She was quite hard work as a baby and toddler but a delight as a teen. She's now a lovely, capable, mature young woman who's working hard at uni and having fun, loads of friends.

I'm not sure which other thread is being referred to, sounds like it was a load of ill-informed bollocks.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 15/10/2019 16:56

DD is:
Loud, quirky, deeply kind, fearsome in pursuit of her goals, enormously social, and endlessly surprising. In the last 3 years she has completed her degree while carrying, delivering and BFing DGS, moved 250 miles, started a full time apprenticeship, and house-trained Son-out-law.

caperplips · 16/10/2019 10:30

Disgrace Grin she sounds fabulous!

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