Come celebrate your ONLY CHILD

[MarthasGinYard]

Apparently

They can be....

'Rude'

'Lack awareness'

'Spoilt'

'Unable to share'

'Lack manners'

'Lack stimulation'

'Socially reclusive'

And funniest of all they lead some kind of Mr Bean existence, sitting on a crate eating supper alone every night crying and neglected 😉

In reality my DC in fucking awesome in every way shape and form....

What about yours?

TheOnly

So glad you posted

And lovely to hear about your lovely DS.

Those idiots made me more than 'Chippy' too, not worth our energy.

DD is a single child by choice and circumstance. She is also the daughter of a single child (DH ) and a virtual one (my sister is 8 years older).

Is she spoilt, maybe. But obviously we have the means to go on more holidays, have more hobbies or more clothes than if she would have a sibling.

But she also loves sharing, she recently bought chocolates just for DH and me, didn’t nick any them for herself just because. She loves her friends, shares with them everything.

But she also is independent, often forcefully so by DH and me as we think it is good for her to not being catered for every whimp.

She is 12, I soemtimes think it is harder for her without immediate family but then I remember my estranged sister and that my best friend is closer to me than her.

Private

Thank you

I'm going to check out that link. Sounds like an informative read, and I may need some scientific back up if I go for the jugular

Although I'm really enjoying reading about all our fantastic DC and their wonderful ways.

Strangely enough none of them seem to sport the 'only child sash' which apparently can be spotted a mile off 🤔

Such a lovely thread

Especially in contrast to the other one

'Will never forget when I was ill with a fever and he came into my room to give me a cup of tea and to pull the duvet up so I wouldn't get cold. He is 8.'

Oh bless him, so thoughtful.

Interesting to read how our only dc generally mix well and enjoy time with us or playing alone.

Badger

That what a great post

Glad you gave it a miss

That thread was not worthy of a post about your amazing DD.

Another only DC here. Just heard at parents' eve this evening that she's awesome, focused, hard working and polite. "A joy to have in the classroom."

At home she can get bored easily, be clingy and demanding and has been known to tell others when we're not there that she has a sister. I think she imagines she'd like one but the reality is she doesn't even like sharing my lap with the dog.

She's a fierce Mummy's girl so I'd imagine a sibling would actually be challenging for her. But I can't fathom or face having more. I feel humbled by how other parents manage with 2 or more.

I think dd would be an amazing older sibling as she is brilliant with younger kids. However, I think it would be very tough growing up in the shadow of an older sibling like dd. I have seen quite a few younger siblings go off the rails because they simply can't "compete" with the older one.

I figure that nobody would be lucky enough to get two children as amazing as dd, so you'd almost be setting the second one up to fail from the start!

Another patent of an only here. DS is great; kind, empathetic and very funny. He gets on with other people, although he prefers people older than him.

He looks at friends kids in horror as they argue about 'who looked at the other one first' and is generally happy to be an only - along with several cats.

Alexa

I must admit I do often wonder what Dd would have been like as an older sibling. We sadly lost a Dc at 18 weeks back in 2014 when she was 4. We'd only just told her that a baby was on the way too. Telling her was the hardest thing we've ever had to do.

She adores the little ones at school and is super patient with them. She refers to her rescue cat as her 'brother' she loves him to bits

I certainly think she's very happy and aware she gets many privileges with it being just her and us.

She comments when my friend comes with her 4 that she's glad when they have gone home....

So am I

@puppymouse DD once caused confusion at the airport check in when she demanded boarding passes for her dolls which in her mind where her imaginary siblings.

Luckily the staff was great and said that under twos don’t need boarding passes after exchanging confused looks with us.

The need for a sibling went when she discussed that her friends really got annoyed with them stealing their toys.

Discovered Not discussed

DS refers to my two cats as his sisters! He's always done this - as a toddler he used to tell people he had twin sisters but mummy let their brother go and live elsewhere

Luckily one of the cats has a clearly non human name which often helped to explain it.

Anne

Thank you so much for all these comments! I'm currently pregnant with our first, and most likely only. Hubby only ever wanted one. It's nice to know it's not a foregone conclusion that only children are spoiled and obnoxious. Obviously comes down to good parenting!

My crazy, kind, cheeky, dinosaur obsessed chatterbox only DS is lovely, he has his moments and is sometimes spoilt, but is also the first to help someone or look after them. Cares for me if I'm poorly, apparently watching Jumanji will make me feel better. He also refers to his cats as his brothers. Hes not an only by choice, but I now wouldn't have it any other way. He makes me proud.

I used to stress a bit about dd being an only in that she won’t have any support when we are gone.

Shoot me now but I hope she marries into a large family.

I've married into a large family, currently BIL1 and family hasn't spoken to MIL for 5 years, apart from one argument at a funeral, DH sees BIL2 maybe once a year if that. BIL1 births, marriages and deaths only. They all including SIL 1 and 2 don't even exchange Facebook messages or text on Birthdays. DH talks to his DF approx twice a year, unless someone dies. Family doesn't always become what you want it to.

My only child is 19 and utterly perfect to me (PFB maybe but hey). They make friends easily (unlike me), swim like a fish (unlike me) and have an encyclopedic memory (unlike me). They hold and voice strong opinions on politics, the environment and are far more switched on than my generation was at the same age.

My only is now 25 and is and always was fabulous for all the aforementioned characteristics. The other thread is pretty grim.
As an aside, when he was little he did ask for a sibling once. His words - “ I know you’ve done the sex thing once and I think you can do it again”

Spoilt, bratty, lonely, more likely to become a serial killer.

My DD isn’t even born yet and this is what I’ve had so far after the “do you want another” discussion.

I’ve always imagines and been content with the idea of an only child, but apparently that isn’t allowed. I get “oh you’ll have more I guarantee it”

Why do you?! Why can’t I just have one?!

@MarthasGinYard I love the utter ridiculousness of the notion of an ‘only child sash’. If my daughter was sporting one she’d do so with complete panache. She has her own very ‘unique’ sense of style. She would absolutely own the ‘only child sash’ look.

In fact, she’s a whizz with the sewing machine so I might suggest we make one next time we’re feeling crafty

They say now you're formed not by your relationship with your parents but by your relationship with your siblings.

Every person I know whose an only child is incredibly self possessed and confident as they don't have that competition with siblings.

I have two DCs who are wonderful and we adore them but, on a daily basis, we're made very aware of how much they've been compromised by their relationship with each other.

@reluctantbrit bless the airline staff that's lovely quick thinking!

We're lucky that DD has a smattering of only friends too so hopefully she won't always crave it.

Shoot me now but I hope she marries into a large family.

My DH is essentially an only and has married into my large family. I've been the lucky one there! It's been no fun for him having to navigate my controlling and judgemental DM, competitive and volatile middle DS and a younger DS who I do get on with but who can just lash out and be incredibly hurtful. (Plus DB who just keeps himself to himself, no wonder) It's no fun visiting, no happy hubbub, just stressful conversations and rigid mealtimes, still being treated like children and lots of people manhandling DS. We go to his lovely parents for a break...he has a wonderful, close relationship with his DM as they spent so much time together, even going to her work during holidays as a child and we love to have a good chat and a drink and watch a bit of telly.
DS will be an only, I have worried about it, mainly because I worry about what others think (waste of time, I know!) He's only little still but such a lovely and affectionate toddler and I'm excited to see him grow up. I always wished I was an only and DH is very well suited to it too so I think that DS will be happy. I'm looking forward to being able to do some of the things that I wasn't able to do as a child, like take him out for nice food, be able to afford to take him abroad and be able to send him to any clubs or anything he's interested in.
This thread has been so lovely, it's great to hear about everyone's lovely only children... I'd been feeling a bit down after reading the other thread and this has cheered me up no end.