Should I let him stay?

[Rawhimann]

Name changed as don't won't this thread to follow me around.

I'm a single mum to a 1 yearold boy. Younger brother is in prison as he assaulted someone whilst he was drunk. I've been visiting him and the last time he visits he asked if he can stay with me and son as our parents have said he cant stay with them. I've told him I'll think about it but he gets released this week and I don't know.

Advice please.

If you receive any benefits how will they be affected by him living there ?

You've done the right thing, SS would probably be involved if you had a violent offended move in with your 1 year old and you don't really need that. You might believe he's not a danger but they would need to be sure of that.

His attitude says a lot so it's even more lively you've done the right thing. There are services and benefits that will ensure he's housed and has access to money. If you are in receipt of any housing benefit presumably that would be affected too if he moved in. There are plenty ways you can help without handing him cash and letting him move in if his attitude changes and he lets you

I would've let him stay. I couldn't see him with nowhere to go. He wasn't a threat to you or your son. He needs support for a short while so he can find a job and a place of his own.

I'm not surprised by his reaction.

@MaidenMotherCrone but he won't have nowhere to go, he will get help with that by the prison services. It would actually be far harder to get somewhere to stay if he had a current roof over his head.

I would help him. Especially if you were close before and he's a good brother. He's not in any position to hurt your son is he? First sign of trouble you can throw him out. It sounds like it was a one off.

Not worth the risk. You'll have SS all over you an you'll be out under a lot of stress to keep him their. It isn't worth it. He will get support to find somewhere don't worry about him. He's clearly a big boy
Put you and DS first

Ffs yes I would, my brothers have both ended up in fights for one reason or another when they were young. I'd let my brothers stay with me in this situation, hardly crime of the century.

How long has he been in prison for?

If it really was punching someone in a fight, obviously not condoning that but I would let him stay.

If it was beating someone to a pulp/kicking them on the floor etc then I wouldn't - because that indicates a really violent and aggressive character.

Ultimately, you know your brother OP. Go with your gut.

I don't understand what risk you think he poses to his nephew?

I'm stunned by the amount of people who wouldn't help. Let's hope you never need a helping hand when you're at your lowest point.

If it were because I'd got completely wankered and got into a fight in a pub, @HollyBollyBooBoo, I'd deserve everybody washing their hands of me. But strangely, I'm not a pissheaded thug and never have been.

Holly, if drinking to that extent is a regular thing for him it could well be a risk to his nephew. He could bring trouble home from the pub, become violent or abusive to OP or her DS while drunk or hungover or even injure OP or her DS accidentally while crashing around drunk. Just living in an environment where excessive drinking is happening even without any of these things could be harmful to a child tbh, I wouldn't want it for mine. I think it's totally understandable to have concerns about someone who has already demonstrated (and been jailed for) out of control behaviour while drunk, especially when there's a child to consider.

If I needed help from family, I'd like to bloody think it's not because i got absolutely rat arsed and battered someone,thanks @HollyBollyBooBoo