If you are really rich

[sopsmum]

Now, I know this is all subjective, but if you are rich how did you do it. Do you have lots of different income streams. And how much take home makes you rich? Our income is fine (could always have more!) but everything is so expensive.

On paper we are rich. Don't live in London house but have a biggish house with lots of equity. Mortgage is a lot lot less than I see others paying on rent for smaller houses. I'm a professional. Husband owns his own business with largish turnover. I'm lucky to be mid 40's as those younger than me appear to be even more fucked.

But, we don't live extravagantly (no new cars). One child in private school (with a bursary) but state primary for the others. Literally no idea how I'm going to pay their fees when the time comes as I can't really afford the fees for the one that's already there. Have only paid for 1 term so far and am dreading the next payment already.

I haven't been to the supermarket for 2 weeks so just eating through the cupboards. Paying the kids football subs nearly killed me. We never eat out. I'm constantly careful about what I spend and haven't bought myself any new clothes in over a years. We didn't go abroad this year. I had to put the car insurance renewal on a credit card. The roof is leaking.

It isn't just the school fees that have done this by the way. We were fucked before we started shelling out for those. I'm just very interested in how others manage as everywhere I look in my affluent little bubble everyone else is having 3 holidays a year and buying new kitchens from Neptune. A friend of mine spent £11k on 2 weeks in Majorca. Seriously what the fuck.. I'm just wondering if I'm totally out of touch with what is a good salary and starting to think everyone else must be taking home £10k a month.

This isn't a poor me thread. I know I'm privileged. I grew up without much money at all and know for certain that family is more important than money. I just thought as time went on we would be better off. I definitely had more disposable income earning half as much in my 20's.

Our income jointly is high but we know if we want a decent standard of living then we couldn't afford private school comfortably, so ours went to state schools.

We could put in a brand spanking new kitchen but it would have to be on credit but we're not really fussed about anew one because our slightly dilapidated one still has a few years service left in it.

We'd rather have savings, pay in to a decent pension for retirement and not have to worry where we're going to find money to visit the supermarket without using a credit card.

We just live within our means.

I think we are okay. On paper we are rich because we own our home with no mortgage. Yet only I work, and my salary is just above average for the UK. I think we get by and I feel lucky to have no mortgage but I have to really save for quite modest family holidays.

In my work i have access to other peoples financial arrangements so can speak fairly confidently that alot of people really are living on credit. One couple I know like to play the wealthy big hitters... yet they have nearly £1 million in debt that they can really never hope to pay off, and just keep spending..... last month I had to ask them why on earht they thought it was a good idea to buy a new cruising boat....

I'd rather my modest salary, my modest debt and being able to sleep at night than live like that. I do not even use credit cards .

I am struggling to sympathise here. You feel poor because you have lots of outgoings. Private school? That's a privilege, not a choice.

I earn 16k a year. I feel well off. I have a manageable mortgage, manage a few weekend breaks every year, run a small car and have food on the table. That's enough.

Sorry, a privilege and a choice

I think your basic problem is greed.

How much more do you need? This whole thread is tasteless. There are so many people, children living in poverty. Talk of not having much when you have a house worth over a million or children at private school or 6 figure salaries is sickening.

It's about choices isn't it?
We are comfortable. We could whack another £150k on the mortgage and move to a more impressive house then our very average 3 bed semi. But why? Kids have own, decent sized rooms. We have all the room we need. Friends on the doorstep.

We've chosen not to work all the hours God sends, and between us earn £80k a year so we earn well enough.

We save, we have made our very average house lovely and go on 2/3 UK based holidays s year....we don't have money stress. To me, that's far preferable to being stretched to the limits.

Some people like stretching. They like the gamble, the "game".

Me? I like sleeping easy at night.

It's quite simple isn't it? If you are struggling with private school fees and having to without then don't send children to private school. Stop trying to keep up with the Jones'.

We earn really well and are incredibly fortunate. I don’t consider us rich though... my parents lost their home to bankruptcy, MIL is spending everything she has on herself (rightly so). So there will be no inheritance, there was no financial help to buy house, no private schools. We married and had kids pretty late so we have a big mortgage and childcare bills in line with our income. I reckon I’ll feel rich when we’ve paid the mortgage off and have some real security. If we lost our jobs we’d be screwed and they’d be hard to replace

I bought my first flat in 1982 and really stretched myself.
City career took off in the 80s but required huge discipline - in work by 7.30am, not going out midweek in my 20s.
First house 1987
Met DH 89 - he was really struggling having just finished a pupillage but had prospects.
Second house 92, in an area being developed - builders who renovated hoyse had gone into liquidation so bought it at the bottom.
DH's career took off.
Had two DC and I had 7 years at home
Bought house in SW France
I went back to work and am now a director on just over 100k
Two DC at private schools
DH self employed so bought buy to lets instead of pension
I have a gold plated pension
Have redeveloped and sold two London properties on the side
Moved out of London four years ago to ensure we are below mansion tax
DH has downscaled career, I have upscaled
Mortgage and debt free for many years
I was given £6k towards first deposit.
Our combined earned income is about £270k
Neither of us are big spenders. DH has a wanky car, I don't. Our extravagance is opera and France. We are both quite careful with money but we have some nice things.
DH went to the local comp and has a brain the size of a planet.
Both DC work hard and are ambitious.
For at least 30 years DH worked like a trojan and I shouldered literally everything at home.

In a London centric context we are extremely comfortable but we are by no means hedge fund wealthy.

These threads pop up every few weeks on here. There's always loads of people saying "we are both on 6 figure salary and don't feel rich..." well then you're a fucking knob head.
We are a 42k per year household and feel well off compared to others I know. We live within our means and, to be honest, would kill to be in your position... If that is, if fact, your position there's a lot of embellishment on MN

I think you need to sit down and consider what your true priorities are for yourself and your family and not just what you think you should be doing to keep up with your friends.

We are not high earners, live in a modest house, low mortgage and other outgoings, state schools all the way but because our necessary expenses are low it leaves us with money to enjoy life a bit.

Sorry, I know this isn't what you asked but it's another way of looking at things.

Some people work really hard but don't earn much money.

I agree that some people have to work incredibly hard to earn minimum wage or little more. Regrettably it comes down to what the markwt is prepared to pay. DH qualified hard and developed an expertise in a very complex field people are prepared to pay a lot for. He is a very sharp and very skilled at what he does and developed a reputation for winning.

I read on LinkdIn this week I think something along the lines of "I spent years developing the skills to be able to answer a complex question in minutes". That's what people pay for. I might even have read it on here.

The problem is, it's all relative. You can quickly adjust to a huge income and lose perspective as to what constitutes 'rich'.

There's always loads of people saying "we are both on 6 figure salary and don't feel rich..." well then you're a fucking knob head

Quite.

OhTheRoses even then it's all down to the local job market. The other day I got paid £100 for an hour of my expertise which is really niche.

However my everyday job is £18k because even though it's in the same field salaries here are crap.

It is all relative, you can live in the same house and ond of you feel rich and one of you feel poor. Among my dc some have much richer friends and to them they feel poor as although we are now in about top 25% of income it has taken time to get up there. Other dc has friends who are predominantly in rental homes and low disposable income, to them they are rich.

It sounds as if you are feeling poor in relation to others so either you need to increase your income further or mix more with people who are poorer than you to appreciate what you already have. Much of the research shows that once a material threshold has been reached (clean water, shelter, sufficient food), many health differences are due to relative wealth rather than absolute wealth. If you live on a street and have two cars when most have one, you feel wealthy, whereas if everyone else has three cars you feel poor.

I am sure you have good reasons for putting your child in a private school but on your income it is a drain and there will be many in his school who are richer. If your dc was in a state school you would feel richer.

Also don't underestimate how many people are living on credit to push payments into the long grass.

I wasn't asking for advice on how to reduce my outgoings. I don't actually want to. I'm very happy with the private school we have chosen and I like where I live. I'm not about to go bankrupt.

Obviously if we sold up and moved to an area with cheap housing we would have more cash (although it's never a good idea to spend your capital on day to day living in my opinion). I was more interested in how people achieve the affluent bubble lifestyle I see all around me. I probably need to work more hours and go for a big promotion if that's what I want as I can't see another way. Luckily I work in one of the right industries and could probably double my take home if I put a lot more effort in.

Some will be in the same boat as us and scrabbling around to pay for what seem to be to some extravagant lifestyles but I know plenty of people that have the big house, fancy car, fancy gym, multiple holiday and constant renovation lifestyle. I'm really interested in how they afford it as I don't believe they are all on £200k plus a year or constantly worrying about how they are going to pay for things. I suspect for most normal people it's be making savvy investment decisions as they have gone along which has allowed side income streams or access to big lumps of capital. We haven't got a plethora of btl properties or other side interests also generating an income and my gut feel is that many people do.

Surprisingly few have said it is inheritance (which is what I thought it must be to begin with). No one has admitted to it all being on credit (although there are some anecdotal tales) and it can't merely be that they made the right financial decisions at 21.

My husband's income is a bit sporadic so we probably need to be a bit better at budgeting to allow for the peaks and troughs.

This is a totally bizarre thread. You have children at private schools! Of course you are rich. Not many people afford private school fees.
So, it comes down to priority. You obviously believe school fees are more important, even if that means eating out of the cupboard. Others would prefer to use state school and have 1 or 2 more holidays a year.

@sopsmum re: what you describe many are on more than 200k, simple. If people knew how much some earn & how ‘rich’ some really are, they’d be a revolution.

It sounds like you’re underestimating how much they’re earning so if want to live the same way then yes double your income.

We live a rich persons lifestyle because DH's family are rich. We both have very ordinary jobs.

Maybe you are comparing yourself to the wrong people and not being grateful for what you do have. Maybe you don't realise how much you are spending on things that are more than necessary.

Yep. Sounds like you underestimate how much people earn. Considerably. We have the lifestyle but it isn't on 200k a year.

Are you in London JoJoSM2?