If you are really rich

[sopsmum]

Now, I know this is all subjective, but if you are rich how did you do it. Do you have lots of different income streams. And how much take home makes you rich? Our income is fine (could always have more!) but everything is so expensive.

On paper we are rich. Don't live in London house but have a biggish house with lots of equity. Mortgage is a lot lot less than I see others paying on rent for smaller houses. I'm a professional. Husband owns his own business with largish turnover. I'm lucky to be mid 40's as those younger than me appear to be even more fucked.

But, we don't live extravagantly (no new cars). One child in private school (with a bursary) but state primary for the others. Literally no idea how I'm going to pay their fees when the time comes as I can't really afford the fees for the one that's already there. Have only paid for 1 term so far and am dreading the next payment already.

I haven't been to the supermarket for 2 weeks so just eating through the cupboards. Paying the kids football subs nearly killed me. We never eat out. I'm constantly careful about what I spend and haven't bought myself any new clothes in over a years. We didn't go abroad this year. I had to put the car insurance renewal on a credit card. The roof is leaking.

It isn't just the school fees that have done this by the way. We were fucked before we started shelling out for those. I'm just very interested in how others manage as everywhere I look in my affluent little bubble everyone else is having 3 holidays a year and buying new kitchens from Neptune. A friend of mine spent £11k on 2 weeks in Majorca. Seriously what the fuck.. I'm just wondering if I'm totally out of touch with what is a good salary and starting to think everyone else must be taking home £10k a month.

This isn't a poor me thread. I know I'm privileged. I grew up without much money at all and know for certain that family is more important than money. I just thought as time went on we would be better off. I definitely had more disposable income earning half as much in my 20's.

£1000 a month on food is a luxury choice.

@TinklyLittleLaugh correct.

@Bluntness100 I think those school fee numbers are a bit low. We are only at pre-prep and it's £1250 a month. At 11+ I'd imagine it's closer to £1650 ish.

School uniform is easily £500.

Not that this alone explains where all the other money is....

School fees are out of reach for many on low six figures so it’s not surprising things feel tight

Where did the £1k on food come from that is a lot

How can people feel 'things are tight' on six figure salaries??

Try living on a care assistants wage then tell me if things are tight.

I got a couple of million in my divorce, we are amicable and I didn’t have to fight for it, and we were t rich when we were together, he owns a large business and sold shares when we separated, gave me half.

So now I am mortgage free and I own a business with my new dp which does well.

I’m not rich as in driving a lambo rich but i live in an amazing house worth a lot of money, I buy what I like , don’t have a budget for anything and my kids will all have cars, uni, and deposits on houses paid for which is something I never had.

So for me really it’s just been down to luck.

Well the op does but it does sound vague and like they have little grasp of what they’re spending

School fees will have an impact though

And I don’t do private school, I’m too tight ( I have 7 children now, I looked into it and the cost is huge)and I don’t want them to turn into wankers I want them to be normal kids.

Reading this thread is like reading the 'what it's like to be Beautiful' thread on style & beauty....

Tinkly I totally agree, I'm not minimising spending that amount on food, it's not quite that but probably £700-800 per month.

These threads (and similar conversations in RL) always boil down to "there's always someone richer". I went to a Russel group uni, and live somewhere quite well heeled, so I know quite a few people in the 1%, all of whom would hotly deny being rich, because they mostly feel poorer than some other people.
@hettie that link is super interesting! I do feel rich. We have enough income to live an easy life. Turns out we're in the third decile from the bottom! The key difference is that we both have money in the family, so a safety net if we need it, and we inherited/were given enough money to start us onto the property ladder without a mortgage. So we have the huge privilege of being able to choose risky, low paying careers which we love and give us lots of flexibility to bring up our kids without childcare. Money breeds money, and it doesn't take much to start that off. Our entire inheritance was less than many on this thread earn in a year, but it opened so many doors for us, and put us in a position to be lucky, on top of the privilege.

Sorry the £1000 on food was in response to Inthenews saying she spent double Bluntness’s £500 figure.

They have a bursary, hence my pitching it as 700. It's a guess though.

A grand a month on food though to thr pp that spends that, I'm sure you know that's not the norm.,😱

Maybe you need to take some proper advice from an independent financial advisor. And start reading personal finance blogs like Ramit Sethi. You probably need to make some changes.

On the other hand, all your friends might be getting into massive debt.

We spend about a 1000 a month on food. 3 kids. £50 a week each. It’s not that much.

A lot of business owners don’t pay themselves a salary to avoid tax / NI. Is your DH one of them? If so the natural solution would be to increase his salary.

I never had an extravagent style when I was a low earner and I think that helps in saving right now. Like you a lot of my similarly high earning friends rely on house values to keep themselves afloat and borrow against their houses whenever they need more money. I have saved since I was 16 and so have equity and investments and a salary to draw on which, if I was trouble, makes a huge difference

What an eye opener! Several posters do not feel £350,000 and £500,000 is rich.

Our household income is just under £90,000 and whilst well above average UK earnings I do not feel secure at all. Our salaries have increased slowly due to the sector we work in. We have no savings, inheritance or investments. Inheritances and having wealthy parents make a huge difference. Dh and I have helped our struggling parents a lot through the years. It has caused much stress, arguments and pressure on our marriage. Not only do we feel responsible for our DC but our parents too.

Our mortgage is high as we bought at wrong time with 10% equity. We were in negative equity for years. We spend a lot commuting into London. We make lunch for work, never buy coffees or snacks en route. I food shop in Sainsburys, clothes shop in New Look, H & M. We save monthly for one holiday a year. We can buy DC decent clothes and shoes which last and pay for one extra curricular activity. I spend more on DC clothes and shoes than I do for myself.

Are the salaries pps are talking about 'gross'?

£300k upwards isn’t rich??????

Tatiana £1000 a month on food is a lot of money but I take it you can easily afford it. I spend around £100 a week and this includes three meals for home, school and work. I do budget and write a list otherwise I could easily go over.

Do you shop at Waitrose?

We are very comfortable but have always lived within our means. No inheritance or likely to have any. Have done well with property but never cashed out. I retired at 50 but got bored and work a couple of days a week but only relatively simple stuff, nothing stressful and complex like my job was.

We must have got well over a £100k worth of vehicles, and mostly I drive a 10 year old van, very much not a car person. Mortgage free for 15 years.

I grew up with a Mother who nagged for England about money but didn't work. There was no way on gods earth I was going to be like that, never nagged and I got off my arse and worked hard for everything

Inflation of private school fees have far exceeded inflation.
I had a DC in private school until this year £20k a year and the parents were either super high earners (hedge fund managers etc) or grandparents were paying.
When I was at private school in the 80s, feed were £3k a year and there were lots of kids on assisted places (so fully state funded) but also normal m/c families could afford to send their kids.

I earn 17k a year, as a professional.

This thread makes me want to drown my sorrows and cry I can’t I’m pregnant

Rich is subjective.

My parents are worth 8 figures. My father, a medic, came to the US with just 2 suitcases and his education. My mother was a SAHM but ran the financial side of the family. The only thing they spent money on was 3 children (private schools+private US universities+graduate schools) and their home. Everything else was socked away and invested.

My father is retired and still has an income high enough that he pays a 6 figure tax bill, but they still live extremely frugally and definitely don't consider themselves rich. To them, rich is billionaire level.

Hi op.
You need to take your child out of private school and football club. At this stage you can't afford to go to the supermarket for fresh groceries?? Something has to change.
Maybe you need to look at selling your posh house and downsizing??