If you are really rich

[sopsmum]

Now, I know this is all subjective, but if you are rich how did you do it. Do you have lots of different income streams. And how much take home makes you rich? Our income is fine (could always have more!) but everything is so expensive.

On paper we are rich. Don't live in London house but have a biggish house with lots of equity. Mortgage is a lot lot less than I see others paying on rent for smaller houses. I'm a professional. Husband owns his own business with largish turnover. I'm lucky to be mid 40's as those younger than me appear to be even more fucked.

But, we don't live extravagantly (no new cars). One child in private school (with a bursary) but state primary for the others. Literally no idea how I'm going to pay their fees when the time comes as I can't really afford the fees for the one that's already there. Have only paid for 1 term so far and am dreading the next payment already.

I haven't been to the supermarket for 2 weeks so just eating through the cupboards. Paying the kids football subs nearly killed me. We never eat out. I'm constantly careful about what I spend and haven't bought myself any new clothes in over a years. We didn't go abroad this year. I had to put the car insurance renewal on a credit card. The roof is leaking.

It isn't just the school fees that have done this by the way. We were fucked before we started shelling out for those. I'm just very interested in how others manage as everywhere I look in my affluent little bubble everyone else is having 3 holidays a year and buying new kitchens from Neptune. A friend of mine spent £11k on 2 weeks in Majorca. Seriously what the fuck.. I'm just wondering if I'm totally out of touch with what is a good salary and starting to think everyone else must be taking home £10k a month.

This isn't a poor me thread. I know I'm privileged. I grew up without much money at all and know for certain that family is more important than money. I just thought as time went on we would be better off. I definitely had more disposable income earning half as much in my 20's.

I remember years ago looking at my friends, who had kids the same age and wondering why I’d always worked so hard at school, uni, career when they had similar lifestyle (or better) with much less pressure. I concluded I had got it wrong and tried to be a bit more like them.
Except, we’re all heading for retirement now and pretty much everyone has massive money worries (unless they’ve had a big legacy) apart from us. My friends were living off credit/ not paying into pensions and I never realised.

My income is £1600 a month. I am a single parent. I go on 2 or 3 holidays a year and have nice days out with DS. Don't worry about bills and don't worry about money in general.

It's about living within your means. I'm lucky in some ways - I don't own a car as I don't need one and I live in an area where bills are cheap. I walk to work so have no travel costs.

But I've carefully chosen other things. I live in a small house. 2 up, 2 down. I don't see the point in having a huge house that's just a financial drain. You can't take a house with you when you're dead.

I tend to find people who have decent but not enormous incomes usually over stretch themselves with things like huge mortgages and school fees, then end up struggling. It's about what you prioritise really.

I’ve inherited some wealth. Not millions but I’m more than happy with what we’ve got
So we are very comfortable
To some we are rich. To me we are rich
We live quite cheaply but if anything breaks down it can easily e replaced
No debt at all
Anything purchased is purchased outright
We have three cheap foreign holidays a year
And a used static caravan.that we live in half the week during the season
I’m very grateful to be in this situation
( my houses and savings might just buy me a semi in a unpopular part of London)

Bluntness totally appreciate that £1k a month on food isn't normal (as I said it's more like £700-800). We don't drink, smoke, rarely go out, drive crappy cars, not in the least bit materialistic but eat a lot (5 of us and two permanently hungry teenage boys in that total). I cook from scratch every day - all very sporty too which increases appetites.

It is said that no matter how much money you earn most people are3 months away from being made homeless. Consider this - if your wages stopped for whatever reason would you be able to keep your roof over your head? Being rich is not about income on its own it’s about savings and financial robustness. As you are already dreading the next lot of school fees and have a bursary to help you meet the school fee payments I think you already know that you are not rich.

I tend to find people who have decent but not enormous incomes usually over stretch themselves with things like huge mortgages and school fees, then end up struggling. It's about what you prioritise really

This is us totally ^^

I worked really hard in a professional job, identified a gap in the market and exploited it setting up a company that met the associated demand and sold it last year.

Five years ago I had months like yours OP, (which I appreciate were not "poor") I was living out the cupboards and robbing Peter to pay Paul.

Now I'm rich. I live in a beautiful house and can pretty much spend as I wish, although even as I type that I'm aware that my wishes might be less than others:
I travel first not private
I wear maje, Chloe & ba @ sh not Chanel
I drive a Q7 not a Ferrari

Waxon I agree the more you earn, the higher standard of living you desire. On a £90,000 household income, a couple know private school for their dc is unachievable. On a £120,000 household income a couple know they can stretch to it and do so.

Being close but not quite close enough is bloody awful.

Some posters in this thread are so fortunate to have their mortgages paid off. Unless a miracle happens ours will not end until I am 65

We have a healthy 6 figure income

OP - I'm amazed that your DC holds a bursary especially if you don't live in London.

You need to start budgeting OP. Something isn't adding up and it's easy to burn through hundreds of pounds without nothing if you don't watch what you are spending.

I have lived hand to mouth in the past and we currently now live comfortably.

I have found that it's oddly easier to budget with less money as you can't spend anything and you always know what you have down to the penny!

When you have more you always think you have the money to buy whatever it is you are thinking about that day. However you don't. Unless you are a billionaire you don't have unlimited money and still need to make spending decisions.

Also when you have more money you have more stuff and that usually needs maintaining or running = extra costs.

You need to start monitoring your spending and making decisions about what you can afford and what you want to spend money on. I use You need a budget and am loving it currently. We are much more in control of our spending. But you could use a spreadsheet or other budgeting tool. Or go old school and use a book!

You could probably be saving a lot more with your salary and you should not be in a position where you don't have moment for the grocery shop!

You will feel much better and more in control with a budget.

We just have the one house and some small investments. Nothing accessible. House is worth about £1m, maybe a bit more.

Significant capital assets plus a healthy 6 figure income would normally make you ineligible for a bursary. Investments would be expected to be sold and equity released.

Frankly, I'm totally incredulous that you are eligible for ANY bursary.

Misses the point completely.

All I can say is that your school has an uniquely generous bursary policy.

Carry on.

Agree something is wrong here. There is about two grand missing a month from the ops numbers, but she can't afford to go food shopping and hasn't bought new clothes for years.

Even if school fees are higher, there is still a large sum of money unaccounted for monthly and it's clearly not on food as she says she can't afford fresh food.

It simply doesn't make sense.

Yep Sansou I thought that too - more so now you’ve said outside London.

Do you shop at Waitrose?

Yes, but it’s the extras from M&S, Cook, delis and health food shops that cost the money. I like good quality food. I’m also devotee of Chop Chop. But we don’t spend much on alcohol.

If your house is worth £1m and your mortgage is only 1500 a month you must have a ton of equity. I’m amazed you’ve had a bursary. I’ve looked at the threshold round near me and you wouldn’t have a chance. They would be expecting you to release equity. Quite frankly, your school is taking the piss with its charitable status if you’re getting one.

For what it’s worth, I think we have a similar/ higher household income than you but a higher mortgage (2500) and we’re paying nursery fees. We’ll need to save for private school for secondary. You just need to accept private schooling is now a luxury that requires a very high household income. If you posted a full statement of affairs, I’m sure posters on here could say where you could easily trim costs.

Tatiana The extras certainly add up. Health food shops are rather expensive.

I struggle to understand most of these posts. Especially earning £100k+ part time. Or with a Dh not paying tax on his £100k+?
The mind boggles.

Being rich is not about income on its own it’s about savings and financial robustness. As you are already dreading the next lot of school fees and have a bursary to help you meet the school fee payments I think you already know that you are not rich.

You are right, but few people in mumsnet understand this. If you earn a fortune and spend all of it, you are well-paid but not rich, unless you bought, say, art which will appreciate in value, in which case you have invested money rather that spent it.

What's chop chop?

There needs to be a laminated sign above threads like this that read:

"Posts equating wealth with hard work will be deleted".

I worked so hard for years in salaried jobs, my DH continues to, but the reason we're wealthy is because I was determined to buy my first house as soon as possible, even though I had to leave London and my complete support system to do it.

There have been other useful decisions on the way, but no one will ever convince me that working 15 hours at a corporate job is harder than a 10 hour shift nursing, policing, cleaning, or at the supermarket check out. It's just not!

Even harder if it's nearly covering bills, but not quite. The are so many people who work to exist, it is beyond arrogant to claim that building your own business, or any other job where you have a sense of progression, is grafting. You put in millions of hours but you reap the rewards in the home you go back to, the bed that you sleep in, and the security you can offer your children.

I am now wealthy. For about 15 years I was holding my breath for half the month. I don't forget that easily. I'm glad pp reminded me of the line about being the months away from homeless because I'm finally at a stage where we could continue as we are for several years before becoming homeless, and I need to be aware of that. I still shiver if a card transaction takes too long to go through and think it might be declined.

OP, I understand the original purpose of your thread, but I think it might be sensible to do a bit of a thorough audit. You might find you're just starting the private stuff a bit early. Or, you might need to find the 2k a month that's disappearing. You don't have a small addiction of some sort, do you? It would explain such as large hole in the finances.

You are living beyond your means.
We bring in £3k per month between us and more than half goes on mortgage, bills and childcare.
We have 3 children and manage holidays abroad. We just don't expect cars and gadgets and new furniture.
People make money in all sorts of ways. Inheritance, property... salary is just one part.
As pp have said, you cannot afford your current lifestyle. Can you extend your mortgage?

Chop Chop = Sainsbury’s app that delivers groceries to your door within the hour.

Just googled chop chop how did I not know about it

I take home 1k a month dh £1600
We feel rich! We worked hard to pay down and almost clear our mortgage, we are in our 40’s we don’t live in a cheap area of the country £260k house
We’ve been to Spain twice this year and going to Paris later in the year
Our cars at 2 years old
We spend £50 a week in Lidl and shop around for our bills
I reckon £400 a week disposable income!
I just don’t know what rich people spend their money on!!