Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

With a body like that you shouldn’t ever have to work

64 replies

JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:22

Quick poll: If a male colleague (more senior than you) said this to you would you

a) laugh off as banter in the context of the conversation

b) report to someone else

c) slap them with a sexual harassment suit quicker than you can say compensation

OP posts:
JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:23

d) gape like a fish that a man just said that in 2019 (option I went for btw)

OP posts:
FoodWoes · 08/10/2019 23:24

B.

What a wanker

DocusDiplo · 08/10/2019 23:25

D)

JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:27

He followed it up with “sorry that just slipped out”

Code for: I know I’m not allowed to publicly be a slimeball but my mask slipped for a minute

OP posts:
shazchip · 08/10/2019 23:28

.... but what WAS the context of the conversation?

Trufflegirl · 08/10/2019 23:30

Give him a kick where it hurts!

Trufflegirl · 08/10/2019 23:30

And people wonder why we still have feminism....

JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:33

Context of the conversation was

I was getting ready to go home. I finish earlier than other colleagues as I do less hours. He said “oh it’s alright for some hey” I said “well don’t worry my payslip reflects the short days” he said “how many hours do you actually work” I said “as little as possible tbh” (said in a jokey manner) and he said the above.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 08/10/2019 23:33

E) with a mind like yours I’m amazed you still have a job.
What a twat.

JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:34

I mentioned the context as I didn’t want it to read like he’d suddenly leered around a corner and said it apropos of nothing

OP posts:
Xiaoxiong · 08/10/2019 23:35

I would say pleasantly "I'm sorry, what was that?" It gives them the message you won't take any shit but also gives them the opportunity to pretend they didn't say it. Dinosaurs like that never learn, it's more trouble than it's worth to report it so better to make sure that they know that you know what they said and that it won't happen again.

I have only done the above once but it worked like a charm, they absolutely caved and never said anything like that again to me. I guess if they had actually repeated it I would have said "hmm that's what I thought you said" and then just carried on in a professional fashion leaving them to (hopefully) squirm.

Chickenwing · 08/10/2019 23:35

A) It wasn't malicious, he was trying to compliment you (and failed) and apologised when he realised it sounded shit. Complaining/reporting would be unnecessary.

RueCambon · 08/10/2019 23:38

D) I think.

Tortoiser · 08/10/2019 23:40

@Chickenwing - it may not be malicious but do you reckon he’d say it to a male colleague?

It’s totally inappropriate and utterly disappointing women have to put up with this shit in 2019.

RueCambon · 08/10/2019 23:41

It may not be malicious but the inference that you should be 'kept' by a man (which is what is being implied) is NO compliment.

JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:42

No it’s not malicious. But it implies a mindset that women only go out to work when they don’t have a man to go out and work for them!

OP posts:
RueCambon · 08/10/2019 23:45

Yes, and that they'd actually choose that over working.

Did he try and unsay it OP?

Kiwiinkits · 08/10/2019 23:45

D)

And then steer clear.

Reporting to someone else always feels a bit tattle tale to me.

JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:48

@RueCambon no. He said “sorry that just slipped out” and laughed it off. I was leaving anyway so I just went.

Got in my car and thought that was a bit weird.
Then spent the next 8 hours over thinking it until I thought I’d ask MNs opinion!

OP posts:
VenusTiger · 08/10/2019 23:50

I tend to agree with @Chickenwing as it wasn’t an insult, although I’d have put him back in his place!
Thing is, if he looked like Brad Pitt, I would’ve invited him to finish early with me Grin providing we were both single of course!
We do tend to dislike compliments, however slimebally when they’re people we’re not attracted to. Laws of physics I guess.
OP, if you’re uncomfortable with his random and sexist comment, say something to him and give him chance to apologise.

JustaAggie · 08/10/2019 23:51

@venustigee, married. Not me him!

OP posts:
MrGsFancyNewVagina · 08/10/2019 23:52

Reporting to someone else always feels a bit tattle tale to me.

And that’s exactly why so many people, men being the majority, get away with sexual harassment. All harassment starts with one comment or action and the victim’s reluctance to report or seem like a tattle tail, is why it escalates. He’s a creep. That didn’t just slip out. He was testing the water to see what he could get away with.

bumblingbovine49 · 08/10/2019 23:53

The implication is that as a woman, your aim should be not to be independent but to be kept by someone (I assume a man) . As if that weren't bad enough, he is also indicating that even that ' delight' can only be bestowed on someone who is attractive and fit enough for a man to be prepared to take care of them financially ( I assume in return for sexual favours)

That is so many kinds of wrong, I don't know where to start.

beatriceprior · 08/10/2019 23:54

"And with a body like yours, that's why you are still working"

Is what I'd of said.

bex611 · 08/10/2019 23:54

Was he Harvey Weinstein, if so, you know where to go #metoo

Swipe left for the next trending thread