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Original poster

What can we do to get through the next few years financially?

140 replies

Marigo · 07/10/2019 21:48

DD 3y and 13mo twins.

Combined income of £70,000. We take home £4200 a month between us. Mortgage is £1400 a month. DD has funded nursery hours now which will bring nursery down to £2100 a month. But still that’s £700 a month for insurance, phones, food, nappies, petrol, car running costs. I just don’t know what we can do. We can’t do it. I don’t know what we’re going to do.

OP posts:
Countrylifeornot · 08/10/2019 03:57

Absolutely no one is going to want to rent a room in your house, and an au pair on £100 a week can't and shouldn't have sole care of 3 small children, as you know OP.

Not something I'd usually suggest but have you parents who would be willing to help out? Either by doing a day's childcare per week, or giving you some money?

I know Mumsnet is generally horrified by the idea of asking, but in this situation my parents would help. What good is an inheritance in 30 years when you cant keep your head above water now? Perhaps they could pay X amount towards nursery fees.

Overpayment of mortgage and pension costs need to stop, you're in serious danger of running aground here, DH can fuck off with his noble ideas for a few years.

minesagin37 · 08/10/2019 04:10

You can't have it all ways op. Mortgage free by 55, 3 kids, full time nursery. Something needs to give. Get a smaller house if you want to be mortgage free.

Purpleartichoke · 08/10/2019 04:27

Your mortgage and pension budgeting have to change. You has twins. You have to make compromises. It’s that or one of you stays home and that will probably at least mean a pension hit anyway.

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Dumplings4dinner · 08/10/2019 04:55

How much were you spending on nursery just for your dd prior to your maternity leave?

If life was affordable back then, reduce your mortgage repayments so that you are saving the difference between your past and future nursery fees.

SproutsRock · 08/10/2019 05:13

Wow you get paid a hell of a lot and your struggling?

SproutsRock · 08/10/2019 05:15

Sorry posted to soon,£1400 for a mortgage is absurd! Try negotiate that right down, or consider moving.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 08/10/2019 05:26

Why is your mortgage so high? You are bringing in a decent amount of money. Can you sell and buy something cheaper? It sounds like you have over stretched yourself on your house.

SproutsRock · 08/10/2019 05:26

@HermioneKipper why are you telling people to fuck off for? Your complaining already about how your going to manage, so why have a baby if your not going to be able to afford it? I guarantee everyone would be saying the same thing if you were living on benefits? And no I am not being awful but truthful.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 08/10/2019 07:29

Because they're twins, dinlo. Is she supposed to get rid of one?

Africa2go · 08/10/2019 07:38

Your complaining already about how your going to manage, so why have a baby if your not going to be able to afford it?

Are you serious? She's having twins. 2 babies. Not something she chose, not planned for. Its a biological fluke. Dont be so silly.

Bellebp · 08/10/2019 07:51

We had three under three and the only way we managed was by my partner giving up his career and getting a job for the days I didn’t work. I worked compressed hours Monday to Thursday and he worked Friday to Sunday plus one week day evening. It was incredibly hard as neither of us got a break but it got us through that period. Now they’re all in school we are back to normal and it’s so much easier. Sometimes you just have to make adjustments. I know what we did isn’t for everyone but we got through it.

SaveMeBarry · 08/10/2019 07:52

I'm sorry but this is just silly! Your getting advice that is usually given in response to:

I've just been made redundant...
Dh has left us...
My benefit entitlement has been cut...

It's perfectly good advice in those and indeed other situations but you two already have solutions available to you - go interest only on the mortgage for a few years or increase the term, or reduce your pension contributions for a period. Presumably you can both expect your income to increase over the years so you can 'catch up' after this expensive life stage.

Planning to put yourselves in a situation where you have to watch every penny for the next three years in the hope of achieving his goal of being mortgage free at 55 instead of 60 or 65 just seems so pointless!

You're at one of the most difficult life stages for a couple ie juggling very young dc along with work and commutes, why would you choose to make it even more stressful than it needs to be? You have a healthy joint income and while planning for the future is important so is the here and now. You don't have to scrimp on whatever's left of that £700 after all bills, travel and insurance costs (have you broken it down?) Plenty don't have a choice and it's often a pretty grim existence, I think it's only people who haven't experienced life 'just scraping by' who can think Oh, it'll be fiiiine.

Likethebattle · 08/10/2019 08:01

I’ve noticed @SherbetSaucer being a goady fucker on a lot of threads @mnhq can you take a look please.

Also saying the op should have stuck at one child in irrelevant as she didn’t and they are hers now. She was asking for advice on her situation not whether she should have got pregnant again.

Sorry for the derail I’m off to report the hairy handed!

EssentialHummus · 08/10/2019 08:06

Hmm.

I wouldn't move from nursery (£56 / day sounds very reasonable and you don't need the upheaval of moving them or the uncertainty of a CM's illnesses or the stress of having a nanny or AP in your house imo).

You say " insurance, phones, food, nappies, petrol, car running costs" need to come out of the £700. The last two are more or less fixed. The others: ring around and try to get them down - what's your phone contract like? When was the last time you threatened to switch insurance provider? You can potentially claw back quite a lot from these.

Food - what's your food bill like now (apologies if I missed it), and could you lower it with a few easy swaps? One or two nights a week with a veg meal, egg and chips, beans on toast, omelette etc?

Mortgage - I'd look to either remortgage if the timing allows, or extend the term slightly for a bit of breathing space.

Bluntness100 · 08/10/2019 08:06

Op, the answer seems quite simple to me, extend the term of the mortgage until you're more financially stable, then you can shorten it again.

stucknoue · 08/10/2019 08:06

Nanny may have their own car employ 4 days a week, switch 3 year old to only the free hours, but the only other significant bill is the mortgage, negotiate reduced payments until your twins get free hours at nursery ?

stucknoue · 08/10/2019 08:08

Ps longer term, a bigger house and an au pair is your cheapest childcare, the hours you need are going to be hard once at school

smellybelly1 · 08/10/2019 08:08

Wow you get paid a hell of a lot and your struggling?

70/80k really doesn't go far particularly if you're young family as opposed to a family who have that income but with older children & who got on the ladder a while ago. 1.4k is not that big a mortgage & plenty will pay that renting a flat in London/SE. Childcare is prohibitive, mine is about £800 a month for 1 with a childminder x2 a week & a couple of afterschool clubs. Plus people earning that will not qualify for any benefits such as child benefit depending upon how the income is split.

Laura221 · 08/10/2019 08:09

I dont think your mortgage is high at all. Maybe to those who bought a house 10 years ago but not now. I'm really sorry but I have no advice. I work too as I'm not cut out to be a SAHM and pay for childcare for 3. Mine are at school now though so it's just wrap around care which is just over £500 a month as my husband works a weekend day to have a day off in the week to cut it down a bit. If you can make it work until school you'll be fine. I wouldn't stop pension payments. Maybe see how long you can cope for and if needed interest only mortgage or a loan to make ends meet.

Do you have parents who could help once a week? ( I know not everyone has that) our parents dont help term time but do help in school holidays which cuts down on childcare.

RandomMess · 08/10/2019 08:10

I think you ask your DH how this is going to work seeing as though he is the one that doesn't want to reduce mortgage payments!

No you can't use an AP for full time care for 3DC

CM can be a good option if you can find one especially if family would be willing to help with some of their holidays but I do agree nursery is easier for it's consistency.

SandraOhshair · 08/10/2019 08:10

I see you are 0.9 FTE OP, once one or all DC are at school could you work 5 shorter days to cover drop off and pick up?

While in nursery 4 days works better.

Until DC are at school, I think you need to drop the mortgage overpayments. Unfortunate yes, but will only delay the 55 plan for a couple of years. You can always step up the repayments as your childcare Bill's reduce over the years.

BTW the concept of renting a room out is hilarious. You'd have to pay me to live in a house with 3 under 3's!

ChevyCamaro · 08/10/2019 08:21

I don't think your mortgage is massive for a couple earning 70k (we are about to be paying 1k until we are 65 on a combined income of 50k) and plenty of people pay more in rent and earn less.
But you absolutely CAN reduce it. You are in completely the wrong stage of life to be trying to pay off your mortgage by 55. That's insane. Extend that, free up some cash, enjoy your life.

Hesafriendfromwork · 08/10/2019 08:24

Maybe to those who bought a house 10 years ago but not now.

Depends on the situation, where you in etc.

I bought last with a 15% deposit. My mortgage £311 per month. I moved out to a different area get a 3 bed at that price.

So yes, to some of us who have bought recently its huge. My wages have gone up a lot in the last year so am over paying. Still less than half the ops.

It's not just about those who bought houses years ago.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 08/10/2019 08:25

Gosh, that is a HUGE mortgage. But I'm in the midlands so my view is skewed by the cheap property!

I would reduce it if possible. Being mortgage free by 55 would be great but putting it on hold for a few extra years seem necessary in this case. Nursery fees won't be forever.

ChevyCamaro · 08/10/2019 08:27

Someone will suggest taking in ironing next.
Fwiw I HATE that some people on here always go straight to "leave your job". This is why women's earnings suffer! There are many more solutions than throwing your self under a bus career-wise.