What can we do to get through the next few years financially?

[Marigo]

DD 3y and 13mo twins.

Combined income of £70,000. We take home £4200 a month between us. Mortgage is £1400 a month. DD has funded nursery hours now which will bring nursery down to £2100 a month. But still that’s £700 a month for insurance, phones, food, nappies, petrol, car running costs. I just don’t know what we can do. We can’t do it. I don’t know what we’re going to do.

The £2100 is for 3 children @Otter46. Using your figure of £55 and presuming its 4 days a week for 50 weeks, thats roughly £920 per month per child. If she pays that for the twins, thats £1840 and leaves £260 for to up for 3yr old. Probably not worked out like that but shows its not extortionate.

I'm nowhere near London and my nursery was £63 a day quite a few years ago.

What is your commute and do you 100% need 2x cars, or is that just what you’re used to?

I think nanny is your best bet for reliability and childcare coverage.

africa it's run on the school site mainly by TA's with a handful of external staff. I think it may be cheaper than some.

Could you take in short-term lodgers, under a rent a room scheme? We take foreign students that are attending the local secondary school (to learn english) and it’s tax and childcare free earnings. Of course you need a spare room for this.

No new suggestions from me (your husband needs to get over his ‘mortgage free by 55’ madness) but just to say, well done for playing the long game and carrying on working. It will stand you in good stead for the future.

@SherbetSaucer well done for being a twat 👏🏼

You haven't accounted for council tax, utilities, TV, phones, emergencies, car repairs, any spending money, children's clothes...?

You will have to extend your mortgage term until they're all in school, surely?

I read a thing a while ago that only 2% of people love their job and I’m one of them. I love my kids and husband obviously too but I love love love my job. I’m really not cut out to be a SAHM.

We def need 2 cars. We work in opposite directions and live semi rurally. DH is electric but mine is a beast that can handle three car seats and boot space for double buggy abd is less efficient.

I really don’t think we could let a room.

@megletthesecond that sounds great, wish we had something similar here. Ours are run on site but by a private profit makingcompany.

We live in the South East and nursery costs £73 per day for an under 2. 5% discount for twins. We both work in London so will need a full days childcare from 7-6.30. We’ve worked out it will be £850 per day per month including 3 year old discount price: Hideous. I will literally only be working to pay nursery fees. But need to keep my hand in otherwise will never get a decently paid part time job again

Don’t LOVE my job but need to work for my sanity and would miss using my brain/adult conversations

Is there any way both you and DH could compress your hours for a year or two to get away with three days at nursery instead of five? So you do 4 long days starting early, doing pick up, and he does 4 long days starting normal time and doing drop off, but with different ‘off’ days?

I appreciate it’s not possible for a lot of jobs, and would be bloody knackered, but for a few years light help?

That's a huge mortgage. Can you downsize or move somewhere cheaper? On £70000pa you shouldn't really need to struggle financially, even with 3 kids. They get more expensive as they get older too!

The best solution seems to be extending the term of the mortgage. You can overpay again once you are through the next few tough years.

If DH isn't agreeing to that then tell him to think of another solution!

Like you, I love my job and I agree you shouldn't give yours up.

Can either of you earn more? Overtime for one of you, promotion for one of you? The childcare costs will reduce soonish anyway.

You can afford to live on what you've got, just get into the saving mindset. If part of that mortgage is an overpayment then that's a luxury you don't have at the moment so he will have to deal with it!

If all you have to pay out of that £700 is " insurance, phones, food, nappies, petrol, car running costs" as you said, that actually sounds like quite a lot of money and easily achievable.

Children that age don't eat that much and two adults can eat well, and still economically. You could always cut back on the cost of nappies by switching to terry cloth. That would be a bit of a faff mind you.

If on the other hand you've got to find water rates, utility bills and council tax out of that £700 too, then you are going to find it a push.

change the mortgage terms

@SherbetSaucer what is your problem with parents? You literally did this earlier on a thread about a lady going through IVF. You said you have no children but you go on threads to bash parents. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Changing mortgage seems the easiest short-term solution to free up some money.
Next easiest is to find cheaper childcare. Could you do a mix of nursery/childminder then the nursery may agree to take your DC for extra days to cover childminder holiday?

Do you have childcare vouchers? This saves quite a bit in tax.
Otherwise, downsizing to free up a lump sum of money.

When you look at primary schools, in your situation make wrap-around care a major factor. There is a huge difference in costs between having a school-based club and one that is off-site and picks up/drops off. I was paying £22 per child per day for the after-school club at my DC's former nursery. Now a club has opened at the school it costs me £3 per day for breakfast club and £12 for after-school - less if I can pick up by 4.30.

I don't need holiday club care but in this area (SE) I think it is generally around £40 per child per day.

I’d be looking at a childminder. With three I’d bet the days you lost when the CM was ill will be much lower than the days you’ll lose when your kids are too ill for nursery.

I’ve always found CMs much better with things like teething (knows when a runny nappy is due to that rather than an instant send home policy) etc.

Plus the mortgage. It all very well wanting to be mortgage free by a set time, but life has thrown a surprise in there with the baby bogof deal so plans need to change

No way can you rent out a room

I'd live off beans and packed lunches for the next while, op

Courage

We moved north south, six months later due to 9/11 the US pulled the plug, and DH was unemployed for six long months.

We had without going into figures, quadrupled our mortgage, it was a very good head hunt, but not that good.

When he eventually got another job and we were doing some financial planning, he kept saying, I need to pay into the pension.

He already had a decent final salary....

So I uttered the immortal words at the top of my voice, for now you are living in your fucking pension. I do not wish to discuss the matter for another five years.

Five years later we were not rich, not even fluid but in position to start hammering money away and get back on track.

Tell him for now, being mortgage free is going to be at 60 and you can look at claw back time down the line.

Sorry that was a bit of a rant.

I'd not be at all keen to have a stranger renting a room in my house with my small children.

Your husbands plan may have been to be mortgage free by 55. But you had twins. Plans change.

That plan needs to change to too.

Having a goal to be mortgage free by 55 is a good one.

DH and I achieved that by 43 (but full disclosure on a much higher joint income, but possibly much bigger mortgage as well).

Having said that, it's not a straight journey from A to Z.

When the children were babies/toddlers we took a huge step back.

Cost of nursery/maternity leave (for me only 3 months then part time) etc couldn't be ignored.

We cut back stopped on savings/mortgage overpayment realising that (unless we sent DC to public school) this was the time our income would be stretched the most.

Children grew up...

After school clubs were a third of the price as nursery. So being used to our low disposable income we threw the difference into savings and so on.

Got the DC all to great school's and then started to "claw back" and did some property upscaling increasing equity and plus overpayments, zapped the mortgage.

Right now, you're in the worst place financially so so something has to give.

Your DH's aspirations might be set back, but it's perfectly possible to get back on that track should you both wish to.

What won't be resolved is the anxiety of wondering how you pay for nappies right now and you'll feel the repercussions (rather resentment) of that for years.

My advice is (like a pp) cut your pension contributions for a few years (only a few years though) and get an interest only mortgage (again for a few years).

Right now you need income to "buy" future security.

Disposable nappies (whilst great/environmentally friendly/cheaper/very much recommend) are not the solution to the wider issue.