LOST: Libido. Reward given for safe return.

[AdultFishcakes]

Quick one: it appears my libido has gone missing.

Have been with DH for almost 5 years
DD1 is 3
DS is almost 2
DD2 is 20 weeks

Whilst I know it’s normal for small children and sharing the domestic load to kill sexytimes it struck me yesterday I might be fine if I never had to shag again. I’m only 39.

Have you ever had your libido completely vanish? if so

• how long for?
• how did you get it back?

DH and I love each other very much but after DDs traumatic birth in May and Brexit potentially zapping his job conditions aren’t optimal. I’m sure it will all get better but I fear it’s vanished forever.

Mines gone babe!

I am 35, dd is 7.

Work is busy, dh works away a few weeks a month. House is being renovated. It's low on our list. We still have sex but it's maybe 2 times a month and I know we'd both like it more.

I also would love to know how to get it back!

I read some black lace paperbacks which are mildly erotic stories for women. That was a few decades ago, they might not be so mild now! Would prob need to find them second hand. More subtle than watching sex scenes on tv.

The idea of doing anything visual really gives me the boke. Without sounding like a big hippy theoretically tantric sex is right up my street but I can’t be arsed to sit with DH and do lots of breathing and visualisation. I’m too tired and I’d rather eat a box of Roses and watch Killing Eve.... with him though

This happened me a few years ago. 3 DC, both of us working ft, stress, life etc. I went to Hollands and barrett's to get something to make me sleep properly and ended up buying horny goats weed. One a day for a few weeks and we were up and running again. Have never needed to buy them again, just needed a wee push in the right direction. I don't even know if they still do them but might be an idea!

Like a pp, I (accidentally) started reading erotic literature and that did the trick for me.
Obviously, you need to have some spare time to read and admittedly that’s not easy to find with young DC’s. When you’re bogged down in day to day life you need a spark to light the flame.
Try these authors:
Sylvia Day (Crossfire series) - my favourite
J Kenner (Stark trilogy)
Christina Lauren (Beautiful series)
If you go on the goodreads.com website and put any of the above authors into the search, you will find links to lots of other authors / similar genres.

Weirdly, there was a recent few episodes of the sitcom “Working Moms” that actually stoked the flames for me and led to two shags in a week.

For us that’s been UNTHINKABLE since round Spring 2017.

I’m semi bumping this for lunchtime too.