DS2 needs to dress up as an 8 letter word

[chesterdraws1]

Yup. You read that right. For literacy day in a couple of weeks time.

My mind is filthy and this sort of shit pisses me right off so please help.

Each year group is dedicated to a word length. Year 3 - 6 letters, year 4 - 7 letters etc etc.

On the day children will try to make a sentence combing their word and the words of other children in the school. Prizes will be awarded for the 'best dressed word' and for the most creative sentence formed on the day.

Give. Me. Strength.

I only wish he was in Yr4 so could go as FUCKOFF.

I thought Easter bonnets and random camel costumes at Christmas were bad enough with DS1. Clearly primary school have upped the ante in the last ten years
🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Please help

Hopeless.

He gives wrong answers to every question asked of him.

Strength...send him in a leopard print mankini with a set of dumbbells.

Surprise - have him dressed as a big present with a look of wonder on his face

Sabotage - give him a can of silly string and get him to spray other kids. Or give him extra letters to stick on their costumes

Announce - dress him as normal and get him to shout ‘I’m here’ every time he walks into a room

Laxative, no...

But more serious, easier ones...

Engineer (easy costume)
Scrabble (stick the tiles to a t-shirt)
Positive or Negative (batteries, not emotions)
Scottish (kilt etc)
Criminal (robber costume)
Olympian (sport outfit, and medals)

There’s actually quite a lot if you think about it, added stress you don’t need though. Although I’m sure adults could really have some fun with this!

Sunshine , yellow T shirt, cardboard rays.

UNIFORMS

As in school uniforms.

You're welcome 😊

Or MAVERICK

He don't play by the rules.
So he ain't dressing up.

I see it has already been suggested but I was going to suggest Hopeless. And he dresses really badly - shirt on back to front or inside out, unmatching socks and shoes, hair a mess, that sort of thing. I know quite a few boys for whom this would be no trouble at all!

Is he 9?

A boy, nine.

Boychild

Botswana is my favourite suggestion though!

It's definitely better than the dress as a Victorian crap we had one year. That one sorted the parents into 'I've had a child do this crap before and I'm not being caught out again, 'useless (me)', and 'authentic clothes in the loft because we have old money'.

Counting [add numbers down t-shirt and puzzled expression]
Backward or Confused [everything on in reverse, and saying sentences the wrong way round - only if he's an unteasable sort though]

I think this is one of my favourite MN threads ever .

Er...

Baguette?

Superman

They are going to need some function words.
Whatever
Anything
Themself
Whenever
Although
Somewhat
Somebody

Jobs..

Inventor
Lecturer
Wrestler
Publican
Customer
Shepherd
Musician
Magician
Engineer
Reporter
Mechanic

Or food...

Icecream
Doughnut
Mushroom

Mushroom
Snowball
Sandwich

All verbs and nouns to boot.

Keep him off school he can be an absentee

They’re going to end with 99% nouns. Either do s non-noun or just turn up on time to the second and claim you are Punctual.

DS has worn his Easter bonnet 2 years in a row and we intend to do the same next Easter.

Handmade? Then he can just turn up with an embroidery circle?

Football
Sandwich
Lemonade
Hawaiian
Shepherd
Palm tree
Skeleton

Barefoot
Football
Striking

Some adverbs for sentencing purposes:
sneakily
boyishly
silently
cheerily

Text the other parents and tell them to dress them all as children

Haha, can you imagine the teacher's face!!

Hmm, their sentences are going to be limited! I suppose they can have a
'Skeleton sneakily scoffing mushroom sandwich anywhere'

@Justherefortheparkingthread , I'm not sure the cup of hemlock would make it through the risk assessment.