Most batshit conversations you've had recently.

[highheelsandbobblehats]

Inspired by a conversation I had at work today, tell me the most batshit things you've heard recently.

Mine was.

Colleague (in her 30s): They speak Spanish in Italy don't they?

Me: (momentarily stunned). They speak Italian in Italy...

How?!?!

Yesterday a colleague said she has booked a short break in Wales, she’s concerned about how many euro’s she’ll get due to the exchange rate...

I had a customer approach me lauching into a full scale rant about a product not being where it should be.
I genuinely thought it was out of stock and was offering to check for her when she started ranting again that I wasn’t listening...
the product had plenty of stock and was where it should be on the shelf at this point i admit i was starting to feel confused!
Turns out product was indeed exactly where it should be and had plenty of stock... but at first when she walked by she didnt want any. But half way round decided she did and was furious there wasn’t a random stack of said product located where she was standing at that point.
Even her husband had to tell her she was being ridiculous but no she continued on with her rant

At aqua aerobics:

Instructor: 'Run clockwise'
Woman A- 'which way's clockwise?'

Instructor: 'push your hips out'
Woman A: 'what's your hips?'
Bemused instructor pushes hips out and points to hips.

Yesterday a colleague said she has booked a short break in Wales, she’s concerned about how many euro’s she’ll get due to the exchange rate.

No way!! Where does she think Wales is?

Worryingly that isn’t the silliest thing she has said!!!

I've got a severely autistic son so everyone I deal with about him have batshit to say!
From a speech and language therapist who insists he's non verbal because he can't say aubergine but can tell me all about tv programs!
A paediatrician who says he can't possibly have anxiety because he smiled at her!
..... the batshit is relentless 😳

My son and I often have ‘creative’ conversations which my DH says are batshit - this weekend we had a long discussion about whether the Yeti and the Abominable Snowman were the same thing or two different things. We also have a balloon in the lounge which he found in the road. She is called Geraldine.

@Grannybags that sounds EPIC. I want to hang out with you two!

I also had a conversation with a supposedly intelligent adult where she said-
‘Isn’t it odd that Ancient Egypt is still a country but Ancient Rome doesn’t exist any more?’

@ladybee28 I miss walking him home from school. We had some fantastic conversations. He has a very active imagination.

My colleague recently acquired a 2 year old dog 'We've had to change its name because its from Ireland and we cant say its name very well with an Irish accent' . Mmmmm

what was the dogs name??

Last year dil (UK) told ds she hadn't rang him as she wasn't sure of the time difference.
He was with us camping..
In Scotland...

@juicyjuicymangoes I feel so embarrassed. Until this thread, I honestly did not know reindeers were real, either. I assumed they were a mythical form of the deer. Like unicorns are a mythical form of the horse. See, you can learn facts on MN.

@JoxerGoesToStuttgart dog was Chase and is now Bruno , and apparently is very happy with the change !

My DSS was talking to me about homosexuality. He is anti, to the point I think he's hiding something (and I hate him having these views, I don't know where the hell he's got them from).

He said he's against it, because gay sex is unnatural. I said the only sex that is linked to nature is sex to have a baby, therefore even straight sex using contraception is technically unnatural. And he said no, that's for pleasure.. so I said yes, so's gay sex. It went on and on and on.

He's a very clever boy (in some respects) but often thinks his views are the only ones that are right, his thoughts are the only ones that matter, and I think that will get him into big big trouble one day.

But the conversation, with a 16yo DSS, just seemed surreal, and my partner was just sat there and kept saying pleeeease stop talking about sex hahaha.

Dd 16 over breakfast last week, looks puzzled. Then:
‘Do you feel weird that I have never lived in a world without Abba?’
Not something I had ever thought about, but yes, in fact, I do.

I consider myself to be intelligent to a normal extent lol but I am also ashamed to say that around 3 years ago (I'm 33) I dosco Zebras are real. My DPs used to tell me they were Horses in their Pjs so I just assumed they were fake like unicorns not my finest moment

*discovered

I was going in holiday to Scotland a few years ago. A colleague said jokingly not to forget the border was closed on Sundays. Another colleague turned around and gasped “no way! I didn’t know that!”
DD when she was six or seven - “Is Auntie Anne a boy or a girl?” Auntie Anne is quite attractive and not remotely manly!
Same DD but this time aged 15, upon learning that Auntie Anne has been sick due to a stomach bug - “is she pregnant?” Auntie Anne turns 60 in a couple of weeks!

I have this one every single day

"Ok so the first available date is the 1st November"
"Have you nothing sooner?"

"Ok then, how about the 20th October?"

Fully grown adult asked me this question...

"...but how does the paracetamol know to go to my knee and not my elbow?"

Not a conversation, but a letter from school about a trip to Europe next year contained the sentence "Please ensure that your child has a valid EHIC card". Right, so you want me to take over from Boris in negotiating with the EU then?