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Original poster

Is he using me for sex?

84 replies

BlackBugs · 01/10/2019 15:54

Name changed for this as don't want this on my posting history.

In January a man who was working with me sent me a picture of his penis. He told me to delete it and not to tell anyone as he didn't mean to send it to me.

Then we started talking more at work. And in march invited me for a drink we had quite a bit to drink and we had sex.

Then he messaged me about a week later saying he was Horny. And he sent me a video of him wanking.

Then the week after he invited me to his again and I gave him a hand job.

He left where I worked for another job so we stopped speaking/messaging.

Then in July he messaged saying he missed me and he was horny and I went to his house and we had a catch up and I initiated sex.

Then in about August he sent a picture of his penis and a video him wanking and the next day we had sex. And the week after we did aswell.

In September I asked him if he wanted to go out on a date and he said he didn't have time but he did for sex him because he was horny again.

Is he using me for sex? I think I fancy him but not just for sex. What should I do?

OP posts:
sue51 · 01/10/2019 17:51

Yes, he is just using you for sex. If that's all you want then fine but don't delude yourself that its a relationship.

Superzowie · 01/10/2019 17:56

I thought he treated me well

Jesus.

CleanAndPaidFor · 01/10/2019 18:06

What a charmer. Honestly modern life is baffling. Workmates sending pictures of his dick and him wanking? I feel like I'm a hundred years old.

Crystal87 · 01/10/2019 18:09

Yes he's using you. The way it started says it all. Why do you want a relationship with him? what do you like about him?

Superzowie · 01/10/2019 18:22

Just to put this into perspective for you, OP.

I was dating someone who sent me a unsolicited wank video after we'd been dating g for 5 months and I dumped him.

That's not because I'm a dull old prude but because I have a modicom of self respect and don't want to date the sort of guy who'd just do that out of nowhere.

Original poster
BlackBugs · 01/10/2019 18:27

He treated me well because he was kind and I thought he was interested in me but he isn't he's interested in sex.

I like his personality and his looks.

He messaged me to ask if I will go for a drink with him/just meet him so he can talk to me.

OP posts:
dontdoxmeeither · 01/10/2019 18:30

What personality??? Jeez you're standards are REALLY low lovey.

Yes, he's used you COMPLETELY for sex.
No, he doesn't want a relationship.
Block him on everything.
Get an STI check at local clinic
Improve your self esteem and up your standards.

He's a total waste of space.

Ebonyandivory2 · 01/10/2019 18:33

The sheer number of times you’ve said sex shows this isn’t for real Hmm

Crystal87 · 01/10/2019 18:35

Does he talk to you much, like try to find out about your life, interests and that kind of thing? Does he try to impress you with things other than sex, such as wanting to take you out and treat you, show you off to his friends and family? If the answer is no then I'd move on and find someone who does these things because that's more likely to lead to a relationship.

Zaphodsotherhead · 01/10/2019 18:36

Yeah, I'm thinking it's another one of those ...

Are you either twelve or living in an assisted facility, OP?

LittleSweet · 01/10/2019 18:39

🤢🤢🤮🤮😱
How are you turned on by such awful behaviour? Who really likes dick pics and videos of a man wanking? What is the world coming to?
Yes he's using you. I'm surprised that you had to ask. What a creep. Have some higher standards for yourself. He isn't boyfriend material. He's a sex pest.🤮

Springfern · 01/10/2019 18:40

Unpopular opinion but... I think he wants to marry you

MashedSpud · 01/10/2019 18:40

I bet he wants to talk about if you want sex.

Original poster
BlackBugs · 01/10/2019 18:41

This is real.

Yes we talk about other things not just sex and when I go to his we don't have sex straight away.

He doesn't show me off to his friends and family but I wouldn't except him to as we arnt a couple.

OP posts:
Soola · 01/10/2019 18:42

I was in a long distance relationship once and I enjoyed sending and receiving pictures and videos of a sexual nature.

However the context of the op and this man it sounds more like he is interested in what the youngsters refer to as a Booty call.

Crystal87 · 01/10/2019 18:42

No I meant does he talk to you about meeting his friends and family. Does anyone know about you? A man who keeps you a secret is never good.

Backtoschooool · 01/10/2019 18:43

He was kind? When he was a random colleague in January and sent you a photo of his penis?

EllenRipley · 01/10/2019 18:44

Bloody hell, woman! Do you ACTUALLY want a 'proper' relationship with a man who targets and sexually harasses women by sending them pics of his dick and vids of him wanking??!

Sex pests are not relationship material. If you can't get your head round that, you need to work on your boundaries and your self-esteem. If you've enjoyed the sex, great - but it's time to move on from that and this creep of a man.

Zaphodsotherhead · 01/10/2019 18:45

How did he send you the first dick pic? Did he have your phone number (make a mental note never ever to give out your phone number to randoms) or did he use the work system (the boys down in IT will have that one on record...)

Original poster
BlackBugs · 01/10/2019 18:50

Yes he talks about his friends and family and his friends know about me.

The first picture I'm sure was an accident. And he said it was.

He got my number because I gave it him as we worked together.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 01/10/2019 18:50

He's only asking you out for a drink because you haven't responded to his calls, etc. At the moment you're the closest thing to an odds on shag he's got. And you'll probably shag him if he buys you a glass of wine and makes small talk with you for an hour down the pub. Please don't go. Block his number.

Aoibhneas · 01/10/2019 18:53

Maybe have some dignity

MrsRufusdog789 · 01/10/2019 18:56

You say you worked with him- but you sound very young - how much older is he than you ?

SinkGirl · 01/10/2019 18:57

The first picture was not an accident. It was a test.

Men who want a relationship don’t send you videos of them wanking and only contact you when they want sex.

Where are you getting the idea that this is normal behaviour?

You can’t even say he used you for sex because you signed off on his gross behaviour by repeatedly having sex with him whenever he wanted it, without so much as a date. It’s not like he tricked you into bed, he’s been pretty clear about what he wants!

HelloGabriel · 01/10/2019 18:58

Has he ever been to your house? Not only do you shag him on demand but you trot round to his when he's horny like some 'Just Eat' sex service?

If you insist on sleeping with this putrid little turd, at least wait for him to put some effort in.

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