What would you tell your childfree self?

[VanillaChai20]

If you could back in time, is there any advice you'd give yourself pre-DC? Anything you wish you'd done beforehand or anything that's surprised you and you wished you'd known?

I don't have kids yet, which is why I'm asking!!

I'd tell myself to take up running. I love it now but only started running post children and I dream about having hours to run and lie in the bath post run on a Sunday.

Instead I creep out the house before dawn so I'm back to drive small people everywhere, barely having enough time to shower!

Don't worry. You will have kids one day. You will have everything you ever wanted and it will be more wonderful than you could ever imagine. But you will be tired.

Appreciate you flat tummy and continuance!

@AnotherEmma , You wrote beware of the in laws, not beware of my husband's parents. You made it sound like a generalisation and that all in laws are bound to be 'batshit'. A horrible term for a very sweeping generalisation.

It was obvious from my post that I was talking about myself. Not my fault you lack reading comprehension skills.

You probably shouldn't have children. You are only doing it to keep him and is that worth the years of sleepless nights, screaming etc. Possibly not. You're right, you aren't maternal at all. You can have a good life but if you have the children it will wreck your body, mental health, social life, opinion of yourself and most importantly career.

@mrsmuddlepies read the thread title!

Start running

Always watch what you eat

Travel more

Read more books

These will be the best and most tiring days of your life.

Appreciate your figure and bag free eyes, theyll soon disappear 😂😂😂

Stop being such a judgy bitch about how people raise their children. One day you will do the exact things that you are judging others for doing.

The grass is always greener...

Enjoy lazy days in bed with DH, they just don’t happen anymore and on the off chance they do, there’s a 3 year old taking up most of the bed

Do not give up working to be a long term SAHM even if it seems it is the best solution for the family as a whole..... go back to work part time at least as it's really hard to start from scratch years later as a middle aged divorcée...still,at least the ex has a great career

Appreciate your lovely flat stomach.

I’m not sure I could have had
much more fun/partying/travelling before having kids,but if I hadn’t been lucky enough to have that I’d definitely recommend doing it first as it’ll never be the same again..(at least 10 to 15 years if you can!).

Also that giving up the flat stomach, wild social life, freedom, fun,
spontaneity & lost weekends is all worth it :)

I would not bother with religion or spirituality at all.
I wasted a lot of my twenties in the world of the aforementioned and NOTHING has blown my mind like the love I have for my DD. You’re in for an amazing life affirming treat so look forward!

Be very very choosy about the person who contributes half the DNA to your kids.

I would tell myself to have them earlier. My life before my DC wasn’t great. When they arrived I found life so much more fulfilling and enjoyable. I was a bit lost before my DC came along. My DC are now all grown up and are still very much part of my daily life. I work with my middle son. I holiday with all 3 of them and as I am now single my life would be empty and lonely without them around.

One thing I would do though is make the most of sleep. That’s what you struggle with in the early years

Don't have them. That's what I'd tell myself.

I have 2 - 20 and 14. They are great people. I love them and they've been/are easy company and wonderful to be around but, if I had my time again, I wouldn't have children.

Nothing. I couldn't have done any more or enjoyed myself any more.

Don't doubt yourself so much.

You'll give birth to the two most wonderful humans you've ever met and know unconditional love for the first time.

In 12 years time the world is a shit show fucked up place. Don't have kids.

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret having DS and I love the bloody bones of him, but has I known how society would be by 2020 I wouldn't have had him.

I sincerely hope he doesn't ever have children of his own, I don't want my GC brought up in this world, it's not a nice place.

I would tell myself to go away on that secret weekend trip by myself that i had planned. It was going where i wanted to go and doing what i wanted and i finally had the confidence to plan to do it alone. Then an event happened and i foolishly prioritised that, thinking i could do it a few months later. Shortly afterwards i met my now DH and i will never do that secret weekend away!

Frangipani the world has always been a shit show. Have you read much history? We could talk about medieval plague, the dark ages, no education for the masses, no vaccinations, most mothers dying in childbirth, child labour, poverty before the welfare state ... sorry but where should we begin? Brexit doesn't really come close.