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Original poster

Bar at our wedding

59 replies

Stiltons · 29/09/2019 21:01

So we are having our wedding in a large barn and we need to provide our own drinks. We have whittled our options down to the following for the evening:

  • a staffed bar where everything is free for guests.
  • a staffed bar where the drinks are £2 each but beer and wine freely available from large buckets of ice
-a staffed bar where everything is £2 including the beer and wine

£2 is not set in stone- the idea is that people won't get as horrendously drunk as they would with a free bar but it is still significantly cheaper than a pub. Soft drinks all free.

Any thoughts? I'm aware we wont be able to please everyone but MN is great for seeing the positives and negatives of every option.

OP posts:
fluffygal · 29/09/2019 21:04

I actually run a mobile bar company (not answering to tout for business or anything but have experience of people being unsure what to do with their bars). I just wouldn't charge for any drinks if I were you- honestly people don't take the piss in my experience on free bars. You can always set no doubles or shots if you want to.

Or if you do charge, use the opportunity to donate all that's given to charity.

misspiggy19 · 29/09/2019 21:06

I didn’t think anyone did a free bar at weddings anymore.

Northernsoullover · 29/09/2019 21:08

I've never had a free bar. My friend put little tokens on the seats at dinner for a free drink but that was it.

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Weddings
Bobbiepin · 29/09/2019 21:10

Must be a cultural thing because i've never been to a Jewish wedding without a free bar. It was part of our catering package. First secular wedding I went to I thought it was odd that I had to pay.

Pipandmum · 29/09/2019 21:10

We had a free bar. We only put out beer and wine. I told the staff that if someone specifically asked for a brandy, whisky or whatever to give it to them but not to have spirits on display. I think this kept our costs down a bit.
We didn’t have any problem with people overdoing it. It may have been our guests, some drove but many didn’t, but I didn’t see any unruly guests at my stepsons open bar wedding last year either, where many of the guests were in their 20s.

ParkheadParadise · 29/09/2019 21:12

We had a free bar at our wedding.
I like the idea of giving the money to charity.

HugoSpritz · 29/09/2019 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 29/09/2019 21:14

If I could afford it I'd do the £2 and donate to charity however I've never been to a wedding with a free bar and certainly wouldn't expect one. The last wedding I was at had free soft drinks which were gratefully received.

fluffygal · 29/09/2019 21:17

Majority of bars I have provided at weddings guests have paid for their drinks, but about 20% are free bars.

Doje · 29/09/2019 21:24

We had a free bar and people didn't get carried away.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/09/2019 21:26

Nope I wouldn't expect a free bar. An arrival drink / couple of bottles of wine on the table during the meal is enough.

£2 a drink is grand, and all soft drinks free.
Alternatively, just charge the going rate for the drinks.

burnoutbabe · 29/09/2019 21:29

You'd need a license to sell drinks whether it's £2 for charity or full cost.

Celebelly · 29/09/2019 21:30

Mumsnet is always a bit weird about this as there seems to be a disproportionate amount of people who expect free bars. I've been to a lot of weddings and never had or expected a free bar.

Every drink for £2 and free soft drinks is great –I'd be well chuffed with that as a guest!

Milliways · 29/09/2019 21:33

My DD had her wedding where we took in the catering and drinks. We way over catered for the drinks, bringing wine, beers, cider and Prosecco as well as soft drinks and a tea, coffee, not chocolate station. We ended up taking loads back home and everyone had a great time with no one outrageously drunk. People were our guests so it was all “free”.

Wheelson · 29/09/2019 21:35

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar, now would I expect it! Any of your options sounds great!

Original poster
Stiltons · 29/09/2019 21:36

Thanks all! The idea is that we will buy all of the alcohol ourselves and the bar staff would charge money and give it back to us. We do have a charity we would like to give it to.

However you have also given me hope that a free bar might work fine- our crowd is mainly 30+

OP posts:
recreationalcalpol · 29/09/2019 21:36

If you’re providing the drinks for the venue, then surely you have a free bar. Otherwise your guests are paying you (and not your venue) for the drink, which I don’t think would be right.

We chose a venue where we could provide our own drinks - we went to Costco and bought spirits, beer and soft drinks, then ordered wine and champagne from majestic. Wouldn’t have dreamt of asking people to pay us back for it with a pay bar. We’re still getting through the leftover spirits 2 years later!

TeuchterTraveller · 29/09/2019 21:37

I would never expect a free bar at a wedding. Pre dinner drinks, wine in table, first drink for evening guest yes, but thereafter always a bar with a price list, usually £2.50 - £3.00 a drink.

People are going to get shit faced whether the drink is free or not!

Milliways · 29/09/2019 21:37

“Hot” chocolate!.
We had no bar staff, just help yourself, the glasses were all hired in as well. As they could see there was plenty there was no mad rush and everyone was well behaved.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 29/09/2019 21:37

IME people who want to get totally stinking drunk will do so regardless of free bar or not.

Is this your worry?

Talcott2007 · 29/09/2019 21:39

We did a open bar at our wedding by putting a £300 tab up and told them to give us/best man a nod when we reached that to decide if to add more etc - it was a restricted menu eg. No doubles or shots etc but no one took the piss because after all they are our friends and family and they knew we were footing the bill. We had about £60 returned to us by the venue and no one seemed to be without a drink.

pumkinspicetime · 29/09/2019 21:43

I have only been to two weddings that didn't have free bars, I was pretty taken aback at the time but I wasn't on Mumsnet at the time.
I now understand that charged bars are quite normal.
Anyway, we had unlimited wine at our wedding and it wasn't all drunk. We had said we would cover the cost of extra but it was never needed.

Justkeeprollingalong · 29/09/2019 21:50

We had a free bar at our daughter's wedding (I'm amazed at the number of posters who've never experienced a free bar, it costs guests enough to attend a wedding without forking out for bar priced drinks). It was summer so we had Pimms to start, wine on the tables, fizz for toasts, then beer, cider, wine and soft drinks all evening. No spirits at all. We cut corners elsewhere to afford this. For example no 'chair covers' at £2.50 a chair!

Wilmalovescake · 29/09/2019 21:53

I’ve never been to a wedding where the bar wasn’t free!!

FudgeBrownie2019 · 29/09/2019 21:57

We had a free bar at ours, I think we set the limit at £1500 and it only came in a tiny bit over the next day. If you can afford to do that without stretching yourselves or making life difficult, it's nice for guests but not an essential.

I love the idea of asking people for £2 and donating it to a charity, though, that's just gorgeous.

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