Bar at our wedding

[Stiltons]

So we are having our wedding in a large barn and we need to provide our own drinks. We have whittled our options down to the following for the evening:

• a staffed bar where everything is free for guests.
• a staffed bar where the drinks are £2 each but beer and wine freely available from large buckets of ice

-a staffed bar where everything is £2 including the beer and wine

£2 is not set in stone- the idea is that people won't get as horrendously drunk as they would with a free bar but it is still significantly cheaper than a pub. Soft drinks all free.

Any thoughts? I'm aware we wont be able to please everyone but MN is great for seeing the positives and negatives of every option.

It’s too long a wedding then backforgood it should end after the meal. I don’t want to buy my own drinks at someone else’s party. It’s inconsiderate. I would never expect my guests to buy their own drinks if I invited them.

I'm shocked that so many people have never been to a wedding with a free bar

I'm shocked that so many people have never had to pay for drinks at weddings.

The only weddings I've been to with a free bar were ours and a Sikh colleague of DH's. I thought wine on the table then pay for other drinks was the norm.

If you can afford a free bar, that's a nice thing to do. But you don't need to provide a large range of drinks.

Thanks for the range of opinions. I'm leaning towards a completely free bar to make things simpler.

I do want bar staff as I'd like people to have a properly made drink that they haven't had to make themselves. If they want a g and t it is made for them in a nice glass with ice and lime. Also the bar staff will be clearing tables of glasses etc.

My sister had a free bar. Not only was it a complete delight as a guest, but she also ended up with a TON of booze and wine (and beer) after because it wasn't all used. I think free bar should be fine!

I wonder if it’s a generational thing. Me and my friends are all around the 25 years married point. Everyone had free drink for the entire wedding - but it was fizz/pimms/wine/beer and maybe port or something after the meal. Never had general spirits and mostly didn’t have a bar as such - just endless circulating staff replacing bottles on tables or topping up glasses. Everyone always had plenty to drink but no one was ever falling down drunk

@CostcoFan - We celebrated out Silver wedding this year too. So - as you might expect - went to a lot of weddings around the same time as ours. Yet have never been to a wedding with a free bar. We - like every other wedding I've attended - gave everyone a drink as they arrived at the Reception, wine with the meal and something sparkly for the toasts. The only thing that seems to have changed over the decades is there is a LOT more faffing around between the ceremony and the meal now so sometimes you get a top up of your drink that wasn't necessary when you weren't waiting so long.

It’s too long a wedding then backforgood it should end after the meal. I don’t want to buy my own drinks at someone else’s party. It’s inconsiderate. I would never expect my guests to buy their own drinks if I invited them

Interesting how we're all different. Personally, I quite like the party in the evening. 'Ending the wedding celebrations' because the young couple have "only" spent around £95 pp on EVERY GUEST, seems an odd expectation to me. @LoreleiRock, if you have a hall full of people for a 40th / 50th /60th celebration, do you stand at the bar buying the drinks all night then too ? I'm genuinely interested in the notion that people expect a 'free night out' or they won't go. Seems odd to me, almost suggesting you can only have a party if you are wealthy

We had a free bar at our wedding. No-one took the mick, but there were a fair number of bad heads the following day.

If you're going to any kind of exchange of alcohol for money you will need a licence (Temporary Event Notice) best to call the Licensing Department at your local council to make sure you're compliant (it's not complicated)

I've still got the research I did and the list of stuff I bought if that would help? Happy to send it on!

Surely you go to 'someone else's party' because you love and care about them and want to celebrate along with them? Not so you can score a free meal and drinks?

Well I do Celebelly, but you do come across all sorts on MN - which, I suppose is what makes it interesting