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Original poster

Bar at our wedding

59 replies

Stiltons · 29/09/2019 21:01

So we are having our wedding in a large barn and we need to provide our own drinks. We have whittled our options down to the following for the evening:

  • a staffed bar where everything is free for guests.
  • a staffed bar where the drinks are £2 each but beer and wine freely available from large buckets of ice
-a staffed bar where everything is £2 including the beer and wine

£2 is not set in stone- the idea is that people won't get as horrendously drunk as they would with a free bar but it is still significantly cheaper than a pub. Soft drinks all free.

Any thoughts? I'm aware we wont be able to please everyone but MN is great for seeing the positives and negatives of every option.

OP posts:
LoreleiRock · 29/09/2019 22:01

I have been to plenty of weddings and only one was a pay bar, another had an open bar to a set amount (lasted most of the night) I do think it is rude to effectively charge people to come to your wedding.

Ebonyandivory2 · 29/09/2019 22:05

I’ve only ever been to weddings with free bars. I thought it was quite common to provide drinks for guests?

BackforGood · 29/09/2019 22:06

I must have been to dozens and dozens of weddings over 40 years, and not just family or one set of social circumstances, but have never been to a wedding where there has been a free bar.
I would be delighted with the idea of only having to pay out £2 for a drink.
@LoreleiRock in my world, you are invited to a wedding, and usually the B&G provide you with a pre- meal drink, with wine during the meal, and something for the toast. If that isn't enough alcohol for you over the day, then you buy whatever else you require. It's hardly 'being charged to go to the wedding'.

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Weddings
Duvetdazed · 29/09/2019 22:09

I seem to be in the minority here as I've never been to a wedding where there has been a free bar. Maybe a free glass of champagne for a toast but that's all. I would never expect a free bar.

CherryPavlova · 29/09/2019 22:10

I have rarely been to a wedding where guests paid.
My daughters next year will be champagne on arrival and for toasts, wine poured at the table during the breakfast then a house wines/beer/cider /soft drink bar throughout the evening. There’s also a little cocktail van but vintage wines, aged ports and single malts will be off the menu.

ilovepixie · 29/09/2019 22:17

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar. Maybe I have the wrong sort of friends 😂😂

mindutopia · 29/09/2019 22:28

As long as you provide drinks for dinner, I think charging is fine as long as there will be access to a cash machine or your bar staff can take cards. Not everyone carries cash- or will remember- and if you’re in the middle of nowhere, they won’t be able to get it. I do appreciate a free bar at weddings though, so you can’t go wrong either way.

Normandy144 · 29/09/2019 22:29

We did a free bar at our wedding. We bought the wine for the tables and prosecco for the welcome drink/toast. We then set a £1500 limit at the bar amd stipulated no doubles or shots, but we did have a bride and groom cocktail for people to order which we pre agreed a price on. We had just over 80 guests (most mid 30s plus) and they let us know we were about £100 off the limit at about 12.30am.
If you can do it without it being a stretch then it is a lovely gesture. We found that the wine on the tables and prosecco lasted a very long time. I think that is what helped.

YeahNahWhal · 29/09/2019 22:29

So interesting! In Australia, it's always a free bar at weddings. But the bar staff have Responsible Service of Alcohol training/responsibilities, so it's pretty hard to get hammered unless you really try to skirt the rules. I guess it's what you are accustomed to.

BenWillbondsPants · 29/09/2019 23:05

Most weddings I've been to have fizz on arrival and a few bottles on each table, but not a free bar. I don't think a free bar is necessary.

Someone said upthread that weddings cost a lot to attend already, but I don't think that's necessarily true, depending on location of course. If I was so skint I was worrying about buying a couple of drinks at the bar I just wouldn't attend.

stucknoue · 29/09/2019 23:10

I've been to some with not a single free drink, not even a toast through to everything free all night. It's up to you and your budget

Violetroselily · 29/09/2019 23:21

I'm shocked that so many people have never been to a wedding with a free bar

MoreHairyThanScary · 29/09/2019 23:48

My sis did an honesty bar, worked brilliantly. Friends didn't want to see them off ( I think they did a suggested price list), massively cheaper than a pub and didn't have to pay bar staff. They covered the cost of all the drinks. There was a welcome drink and wine on the tables.

hiddenworlds · 29/09/2019 23:52

I didn’t think anyone did a free bar at weddings anymore.

I have never been to a wedding that didn't have a free bar. For a wedding in a barn I wouldn't have taken any cash- so you have to warn people.

itstrue · 29/09/2019 23:54

We had a free bar but beer and wine only. We specified that we didn't want waiters filling up wine glasses - just bottles on the table to keep the coat down.

hiddenworlds · 29/09/2019 23:56

Thanks all! The idea is that we will buy all of the alcohol ourselves and the bar staff would charge money and give it back to us. We do have a charity we would like to give it to.

Then you need a license. Does the barn often have a license? Restrictions on closing times?

hiddenworlds · 29/09/2019 23:59

www.gov.uk/guidance/alcohol-licensing

CostcoFan · 30/09/2019 00:02

I wonder if it’s a generational thing. Me and my friends are all around the 25 years married point. Everyone had free drink for the entire wedding - but it was fizz/pimms/wine/beer and maybe port or something after the meal. Never had general spirits and mostly didn’t have a bar as such - just endless circulating staff replacing bottles on tables or topping up glasses. Everyone always had plenty to drink but no one was ever falling down drunk.

Recent weddings I’ve been to, it just seems like the expectation is for a complete range of drinks and there are always a few people who are totally legless. I can see why people don’t want to pay for that, although it does seem strange to me to have to pay for your own drinks at a wedding. Not sure what we will do when it’s our dc getting married.

hiddenworlds · 30/09/2019 00:06

My sis did an honesty bar, worked brilliantly.

How much did it cost to get a license?

Redglitter · 30/09/2019 00:10

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar. Every wedding I've been to you get a drink on arrival, wine etc with dinner & a drink for the toasts. After that you're on your own.

£2 a drink sounds a great compromise

BarbedBloom · 30/09/2019 00:11

I have never been to a wedding with a free bar and I have been to many, some wealthy families and others who aren't so well off. I have lived all over the UK too and still never seen a free bar. We provided drinks on arrival, wine on the tables and then a pay bar after. Your plans sound fine.

WeeM · 30/09/2019 00:11

I’m shocked that so many have been to weddings with free bars! Standard round my parts is you get a drink while pics are getting taken, a drink for the toast plus wine on the table. Everything else you buy. I would never expect to get free drinks all night, and I would be delighted if they were £2 each...bargain!

DippyAvocado · 30/09/2019 00:17

The only similar wedding I've been to was a marquee in the bride's parents' garden where the b&g did a cheap "booze cruise"and bought lots of wine and beer which was then available for guests to help themselves to. In your position, I would offer wine and beer but not spirits and have it all free. It seems a bit weird to be paying you personally for the alcohol. Do you have to have bar staff or could your guests not serve themselves and save you the cost? Are there some guests that would go overboard?

maryberryslayers · 30/09/2019 00:27

We just had our wedding and we had a free bar, it was honestly the best thing as everyone had an amazing time and really appreciated it. Plenty were fairly drunk (including us!) but nobody took the piss and it came to less than we'd expected.

Expressedways · 30/09/2019 00:32

I’d do a free bar but limit the drinks to beer, wine, and a couple of signature cocktails- one wedding I went to recently had Pimms or G&T. That way you won’t have to stock a full bar.
(Personally every wedding I’ve been to has had at least unlimited beer and wine.)