Do you wish you'd had more children?

[fredde]

I wish I had tried for more .. anyone else?

I found the baby days hard and stressful but now my dc is older it's amazing. I wish I had just gone for it and had another instead of just one but now it's too late

We are very lucky and happy but I have the "what if" moments regularly

That's life I suppose

Just felt like posting hoping someone else feels like this

Yes wish I’d had 4
But not when they were little
Bloody nightmare

Yes, and I knew I would.

I have an empty nest now at 45 and I’m not ready. I always said there’d be empty spaces at the table, and there are.

It’s rubbish.

I have an 8 and 5 year old and I’ve been around them and my brothers 14 month old twins today. I also lost my first baby to stillbirth at 42 weeks. I can firmly say I’m done. I like that my children are getting more independent and I’ve also worked hard on getting my mental health back on track after being severely depressed for about 10 years. It’s a personal choice though. I can see how if you were very financially comfortable and had help etc you could have a different view.

Yes. Would have loved to have more. My musculoskeletal issues meant that it wouldn't have been wise to have another pregnancy. So I have the one.

I have two and would have loved a third though life didn’t quite work out like that. I did gain a lovely 20 yr old DSS though.

Yes....but no - really. Mine are 7 and 10, so I’m now at the point of feeling “it’d be lovely to have a little tot running around again”. But I’m glad I haven’t had a baby for the past couple of years and I wouldn’t want to have one now. If that makes sense...🤣

Yes. I have one DD, but can’t have another child due to my health issues, my age, money, and the fact DH and I sometimes struggle with one child - no family nearby to help out, and I think we’re just not that good at being parents.

I know it’s the right choice, but it hurts. DD just started school and I’m finding it hard knowing I won’t have another.

I wanted more. My body on the other hand didn’t cope with even having one.

No.

I wish I'd been able to cope better with the 2 I have so I could give DH the 3rd he wants.

We could afford it, but mentally and physically I can't do it.

Yes. We were planning a third when DH was diagnosed with cancer.

There should be five of us in this house, and now there are three and I’m the only grown up 😭

No, certainly not now. Things have a way of working out for the best. Just enjoy what you have.

Hell no!

I have no children and never a single regret!

I was lucky to have my one and only, and knew from the start I would not have more. My DH has three much older children and they were all at university when I had DS. There was just not enough money for more children.
I have times when I feel sad that I didn’t have more - I love being a mum. But my DS has a fabulous life and now that money is better we take trips away etc and the three of us have a great time. I do get wistful sometimes, particularly now I’m starting the menopause but a lot of that is hormones, not common sense. I think we are ‘programmed’ to want to reproduce and it is still what large parts of society expect. I’ve lost track of the idiots who have asked ‘did you not want any more children then?’
And now I have three gorgeous grandsons to spoil as well!

I thought I wanted 4 but whilst having two was easy, our third has been challenging. It felt unfair to the first two that our third took up so much attention and would have been selfish having another. And actually financially 4 would have been a stretch. I fulfilled my remaining maternal urge and the kids’ dearest wish by adding a puppy when youngest was 4.5 ... and our family feels complete - 3 kids and a dog, a bit chaotic, messy but a round, varied lovely family. I definitely don’t want more now.

@tunnocksreturns2019 ❤️ lots of love to you x

I wanted 3, only managed 1.

Multiple miscarriages and age were against me.

DS is 17 and I'm dreading him leaving home.

I only had doubts when my youngest was very small. My husband was reluctant to even have a second. He did agree to it but said, not unreasonably, that he didn't even want to discuss a third. Which I agreed to. I felt sad a few times in the first year or so because everything felt so final. But in reality I could never have given the quality of life to three children that I can give to two. I've never really seriously regretted it and honestly now the thought of more children actually upsets me, I could never cope.

tunnocks, I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking xx

I might have liked to have the one I aborted back in my 20’s if I’m honest
But I became pregnant a few years ago and the sheer terror at the thought of pushing a child around for years, kids TV and singing in groups was a wake up call. I miscarried and felt sorry for my child but not for myself.
I am very happy with my one.

Yes I have four and could happily have kept on having children. I spoil them to compensate for my own shit childhood so it would be a struggle to afford more. Plus I know four is a huge amount to most people.

Yes and that’s why I am pregnant with my eighth. This will be my last , would have liked a couple more, but don’t want to risk chromosome issues due to maternal age.

Nope. I remember knowing during my pregnancy with my (much wanted, much loved) DC3 that he would be my last, and feeling grateful. I have never regretted not having more.

@tunnocksreturns2019 huge hugs. I remember your story xxx

I was very nearly 42 when I had DD. I would have loved to have had another child and would have tried immediately but DH who is by far the most sensible of us (rightly and gently) said let's see what happens.

I get pangs of sadness that at 45 its unlikely to ever happen but having our DD was the icing on the top of a wonderful cake so for the vast majority of the time I know we made the right decision.