If you are a SAHM, how much does your DH do around the house?

[CarenzaLewis2]

Or are you expected to do it all?

dh does all housework. because he has higher standards than me.

I do it all even though dh would do some if I let him. I have high standards and like doing things my own way.

Not a huge amount. He does some washing, his own ironing, loads dishwasher and cleans and sterilises the baby’s bottles every day and takes the bins out.

I am happy with this and it works for us. When he is here I would much rather he looks after the children while I do stuff around the house so that he gets time with them and so that I can have a break from them and crack on with stuff.

I am not a sahm mum...I work 2 days a week but 12 hour days but am home 5 days. Obviously the days I am working I am away all day so dont count. But the 5 days i am at home a week we split...
50% each childcare when both at home or one tidies whilst other does bedtime.
I do all washing ironing putting away clothes. He takes out bins. I obviously do all childcare whilst he is at work. Grans help when I am at work. But when we are both at home we both chip in til it's all done then both relax. So if I was a sahm I would expect him to do 50% of the jobs needing doing when he was at home. I will try and do cleaning of floors bathrooms etc when he is at work but if I cant we split (or we leave it and its gets done at the weekend when both of us are home. If we get a bit behind with the house which happens often one of us will take the kids out to let the other have time and space to do a catch up).

Zero. But we have a cleaner, which does help.

DH does the bins. Well some of them. Mostly without them overflowing. He does all the garden stuff and outside things like gutters, gates, maintenance kind of stuff.

I do all the household work, cook, clean, admin, errands, shopping, all child related stuff. Because I don't have an income any more, it's my contribution to the household.

If I didn't like any of the things that fell under my responsibility, DH would pay for someone to do it. We have an ironing lady because I'm so OCD about it I take an hour to do a couple of shirts, and she's both brilliant and uber cheap. However, I would feel pretty cheeky having any more paid for, as it's not exactly difficult or a full time occupation to keep a house clean and put meals on the table, and I'm full time at home. DH would never say as much, but I know he'd think I was being a bit idle if we outsourced more at this present moment. When our twins arrive, (only us and one DS currently) I will probably outsource more then, but I think that's fair for the first year or so.

We tend to split everything, although it wasn't always that way.

Now I work, he's the stay at home parent and we still split everything. We both live here, we both make mess, we are both adults, we share the workload.

My ex on the other hand, thought housework was women's work

My DH works away a lot so spends his life in hotels.....when he comes home I make him do things round the house because otherwise he'd treat our home like a hotel too which it most certainly is not. That said, I probably do about 95% of everything including decorating because he's rubbish at it Actually, the one thing that is completely down to him is the IT, I haven't got a clue when it comes to anything IT related so I just leave it to him (and the kids have to hope the internet doesn't go down when he's abroad and in the wrong time zone to phone for help!)

Cooking at weekends (but making lots of mess that takes me hours to clear up 😡)
Empties and refills dishwasher if around when it needs doing
Cuts grass

That’s about it.

60:40 now I think. My job is looking after the kids, not housework. But it's not 50:50 because I often do a load of laundry during the day and I cook every night. But cleaning and gardening etc is all done between us when kids are asleep or on weekends.

He cleans the bathrooms, takes out the bins, does washing, puts away laundry, unloads the dishwasher, makes breakfast, does all the ironing, cooks on weekends, hoovers.

Very little during the week, but at weekends he does stuff, loads dishwasher, cooks meals, we take it in turns to have a lie in, he takes the kids out while i have a break, goes shopping, general tidying etc.

As far as i am concerned, while he is at work i do the house stuff, but when it is the weekend or we on holiday then it is also MY time for a break/rest so he is expected to pitch in and do an equal share.

I do all the housework, washing and ironing. I do the meal plans and grocery lists, the cooking and shopping we share. I do 95% of the lawns and gardening.

He does mornings with the girls, I do the afternoons/evenings. We share the admin of doctors appointments, physio, ballet, riding etc. We also share the parent chauffeur duty. I do pretty much all the planning for birthdays, Christmas etc, we share the shopping, and booking.

We both avoid financial planning and budgeting like the plague. Somehow it works. . .

I do most of it, but once he is home it’s 50/50. So loading the dishwasher, emptying bins, hanging out washing etc.
During the day, I get the bigger cleaning done like hoovering/mopping, bathrooms, washing, bins etc. I feel that as a SAHM for now, the house is my “job” since I’m here while he is at work.
I also prefer to have it all done through the week so at weekends we can go out and do stuff together instead of house cleaning.

I do all the washing, ironing and cleaning, he does all the cooking and DIY. But I'm going back to full time work next month so we'll see what happens then!!

I do it all...dc are both school age though so I have plenty of time. He will occasionally unload dishwasher at weekend.

Mine takes out the kitchen bin and puts out the big bin. He hates my cooking so will only have takeaway. He will play computer games or board games with the kids and he does the big shop. That’s it. Not another finger is lifted.

Mmmmmmm. I wouldn't be very happy with that.

I’m not. But I’m trying to work out if I’m unreasonable. 3 kids v close together, 2 with additional needs. I do ALL the health/school/SEN load. All play dates, all clubs.

I have one school aged child who is severely disabled. I do 90% of house stuff. In school holidays if I don't manage to do them, things don't get done. We are usually both involved in appointments, meetings etc and at weekends most of the time both of us are looking after ds. When ds was younger dh did more around the house but also got more 'free time' because ds did not need so much looking after.

You have take aways every night? Surely your cooking can’t be that bad!

Whether sahm does most usually depends on how old the children are and how many you’ve got. If you’ve got one 4 year old I expect you’d do more housework than if you had 3 under 3 for example.

The health stuff is completely unreasonable, he needs to know how to do that stuff too. He’s their dad. By making you do it all he’s essentially taking away your freedom because you can’t be comfortable leaving the kids.

I tend to treat my stay at home days like I’m at work - so I’ll do housework when there’s no childcare that needs doing, I factor in half an hour to sit down with lunch and a coffee. Then anything left when my husband gets home is shared. So some days I’ll get everything done, if the kids are being self sufficient and happy playing, other days I won’t do anything because we’re out all day or they’re bickering or need me to play with them more than usual.

I'm not a sahm but I think to be fair you need to work out how many hours pure childcare (no housework involved) you are doing vs how many hours work he does and then work things out so you are both doing around the same number of hours work, but taking into account things like how tiring it is to be woken at night by young dc or if the working parent has a particularly hard time at work.
Just the fact he insists on takeaway every night tells me hibu though.

I do most of it. Washing clothes etc because it's easier, I can hang it out. Washing up/loading/unloading the dishwasher he tends to do (because he uses a fresh set of everything each time rather than rinsing a cup out. I do all childcare. He will often clean up something that is already clean because he's bored, I'd rather he didn't. I do the bins because he can't be trusted to remember. I do all admin including his work admin. We have one 2 year old.

I do pretty much everything as he usually works away Mon to Thurs/Fri.
When he's here he will do stuff like get washing out/in, dishes after dinner etc, but I try to follow Tomm so there's minimal housework to be done at weekends anyway.
He does the lawns 100% because try as I might I cannot start the lawnmower! Which pisses me off as it makes me feel feeble!

Zero. But we have a cleaner, which does help.

Completely nosy but how do you do zero? Even with a cleaner?