If you are a SAHM, how much does your DH do around the house?

[CarenzaLewis2]

Or are you expected to do it all?

@notso I think she was answering ‘how much does your DH do’, not that she does zero

carenza if he's at work then presumably he can't do play dates or take kids to clubs?
Depends on age of children. If you have all 3 home then it's going to be different than if they are in school all day. If children are in school or nursery then you have time at home whereas DH doesn't.
I work 0.6 as teacher but do bulk of house tasks as I am home more and DH works longer hours than me.

I’d expect to do it all of not working, likewise I’d expect the same of DH. If one person is 100% responsible for financing everything the other should be 100% responsible for the house.

Housework takes far less time than working full time.

I'm on maternity leave at the moment so not sure if you class that as sahm. Dp does the bare minimum. He might hoover once a week but not often. Sometimes helps with part of the washing process e.g. He will put a load in the washer or take it from the line and put in the dryer or take from the dryer and hang up but never a full load start to finish e.g. Wash, dry, hang, put away. He sometimes does the dogs food.

Everything else I do around my eight month old dd and ill be honest I find it hard and my house is nowhere near as clean as it once was.

He hates your cooking so only eats takeaway?

What's apparently "wrong" with your cooking? Do you and the kids eat it so it's just him providing his own meal separately? Or do you mean he buys in the meal every night, for everyone, so you all eat takeaway and you don't cook?

DH never cooks. He can but has a pretty limited repertoire. I hate spicy food, and that's all he knows how to make. So either, I do all the cooking, or he has to learn to make new dishes. I love cooking, so we go with the former, but if we didn't, the answer isn't "DH doesn't/cant cook what I can eat so we have to buy takeaway." That's most bizarre and such a waste of money when you do it every day.

yes we need to know more about the takeaways!
surely he can't object to you chucking a pizza in the oven?

He does quite a lot. But I have fibromyalgia and am slowly becoming less and less capable.

My DH does the bins, empties the dishwasher and does the hoovering. He cooks dinner probably once a week on average. I'm happy with the split, he does the jobs I hate most!

I think it’s hard to compare this to other people as surely a lot depends on what your own commitments are as a sahm. I know it’s not quite the same but my first few months of maternity leave DH did the majority of housework while in the last few months I did it all as I had the time and he was leaving the house at 6am and getting home past 8pm.
However with my second I’m imagining that he’ll always need to do some. In your situation I’d expect your DH to be doing more as I doubt you’ve got the time but maybe a sahm with children in school or only one child has a different experience

I do everything.
He works 12 hours a day.
It's the least I can do.

But at the weekends he always cooks one dinner and is v active in the garden, clears up after lunch etc.

The garden and of DIY jobs. I have particular ways that i do things, so this set up works, plus he works 50+ hour some weeks.
He does take our son when he gets home from work and shares feeds and nappy changes at the weekend.

Nothing really. He might sometimes put the dishwasher on, or supervise ds' bath time but that's about it. Although we have a cleaner (who also does the ironing) 3x a week, so it's not all on me.

Surely it depends on the children's ages and whether they are at school.

Obvs if they are at home with you all day then it should be shared as you both are working all day, but if they are at school then you should do the majority of it, as your OH is working.

Same rule for stay at home Dads.

Also, ds is at preschool 8-1 five days a week. I get bits and bobs done in that time. We don't live in the UK currently and its normal to employ people to do yard cleaning, car washing, gardening etc..

I don't think it would be any different though if we were in the UK. Before ds, in the UK, even when I worked full time, he didn't do much. I did all the housekeeping and gardening

My dh cooks, he prefers to cook after years of putting up with his GMs cooking. He also does his own ironing and mows the lawn and cuts the hedge.
He will wash up and takes the bin out if asked.

I do pretty much everything including cutting hedges/ lawns and putting bins out.
He will load and empty dishwasher but doesn't wash up or wipe the tops.
Only spot hoovers if the kids have made an obvious mess. He wouldn't even notice dust on tops or windows needing cleaning and he's never cleaned a toilet. His student digs were disgusting when I met him.
He did a lot of childcare when the kids babies though.

I do everything. All housework, all admin, book work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare, packed lunches.

He does cut logs in the winter but that's all. He works about 14 hours a day minimum. I'm at home.

I'm not expected to do it all, but I do do the majority of it. It just makes sense to me to get things done during the day so we can relax as a family in the evenings. DH does 90% of the cooking as I hate cooking, so with that comes cleaning the kitchen after. I'll load the dishwasher (just because I hate the way he does it!) and he will clean the counters and put clean stuff away.

If I was expected to do it all I'd have a problem, i don't mind doing housework but I do mind being taken for granted. Luckily my DH has the understanding that whilst I don't go out to work, I am working as such everyday - looking after DS. And he knows that some days are harder than others and on those days I might not get around to doing much housework. He doesn't complain, he gets mucking in to help me catch up for the next day. (he also puts the coffee on every morning for me and gets up early sort the dog out so I can have 10 more minutes in bed)

"Housework takes far less time than working full time."

You need to factor in the time taken up by childcare as well. If you have a child/children that doesn't sleep during the day and needs constant watching or support/ can't be left alone for a few minutes it is very difficult to do house work around them.

I think it is really about are both partners getting an equal amount of free time.

My hubby will do dishes about one night a week. He will mop the floor about once every 2 months. Make the bed about once a week. Mow the lawn once every 2 months. He will make himself an egg sandwich once a day.

So I do the majority. Heck I am just happy if he puts his dishes in the sink, cleans up his pee spill around the toilet and puts his clothes in the wash basket 😂😂

He gets the washing in off the line, cuts the grass, does the weeding (but we have a small front garden so the garden stuff really isn't much), changes lightbulbs, makes a start on cooking tea if need be and fixes stuff if broken e.g. one of our doors was a bit dodgy once.

If I'm very tired he'll sort out tea without help.

If I want him to do anything else, I'll ask him and he'll happily do it e.g. cleaning the high chair.

He's brilliant and I feel lucky to have so much help especially as he has a demanding job but he can't make a bed to save his life!

Paperwork (bills, insurance etc), cooking on Sundays, bins and spiders.

I forgot paperwork.

Bins - sometimes.

Spiders!

I do most of the day to day stuff, laundry, cooking, tidying etc. I expect DP to tidy up after himself and not make a mess. He does all the big jobs, DIY etc. Which obviously isn't as often but no way in hell I'm doing it. He also takes over with DD when he gets home, does bath and bed every night and loads with her at the weekend. Parenting wise we're pretty equal. I'm happy with how it works, I just wish he'd remember to hang up his fucking towels.

@notso

Yes, it's DH who does zero. I don't do zero!!!