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Did you enjoy secondary school ?

70 replies

Lardlizard · 13/09/2019 09:45

If so why or why not
My dd 12 usedto love primary
And seems less keen now

I’m pretty sure she’s not being bullied and she does have friends
But I think she finds the work challenging

But it’s a shame that she usedto love school so much and now I can see her enthusiasm hasdrooped

Perhaps this so just to be expected ? She my eldest so no experience of this as parent

She just gone into year 8

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 13/09/2019 09:48

Loved it. Great friends (still friends with many of them) and I was a natural academic in a selective environment. I think it’s probably about the fit of DC and school. Which I suspect has an element of black magic involved as how can you know until they get there. Hopefully it’s a temporary blip but might be worth discussing each subject to see if there’s something in one lesson?!

BogglesGoggles · 13/09/2019 09:51

Yes and no. I have many fond memories but I was often really bored. My home life was terrible at the time which cast a bit of a shadow over everything too. I think that if the lessons had been more challenging or the day shorter it would have been better.

miagerbies · 13/09/2019 09:53

Hated it. Was small with full lips and a dodgy haircut and it made me a target. Took many, many years to get over it and it left me with low self esteem. Although I now love my lips and proudly paint them red every day!

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Ilovesweatybollocks · 13/09/2019 09:55

Not really but not for any specific reason just wasn't into it. Never understood it when people said school days are the best days of your life

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 13/09/2019 09:58

Overall I enjoyed school. DD has just started high school and like yours has gone from loving primary to being very unenthusiastic about school. I'm also hoping it's a temporary blip Confused

Frith2013 · 13/09/2019 10:00

It was better than primary school (the 2 teachers there were a sadist - and his wife...)

Boring a lot of the time.

StrictlyComeMarie · 13/09/2019 10:00

I did enjoy school but I think it’s normal for enthusiasm to ebb and flow. Some years were better than others and she’s still new into the term so maybe she’s just settling into the routine again

happypotamus · 13/09/2019 10:02

Well, I was depressed (never diagnosed or treated) and self-harming for most of the time, having started self-harming in primary school, so there were times when I didn't enjoy anything. A lot of my issues came from my home environment, so I 'enjoyed' school because it wasn't home.
Also, I went to a selective private school that was highly academic with a strong emphasis on music, sports and art. I was shit at music, sports and art, and not as intelligent/ high achieving as most people there.
However, I had some great times. I had good friends, I wasn't bullied, I really enjoyed some of the lessons (English, languages, humanities), some of the teacher were great as in they were lovely people as well as good at teaching, and almost 20 years later(!) I have some really good memories of the time there. I also hated some lessons and really dreaded them (music, art, PE, technology, physics) and some of the teachers were horrible and some were crap at teaching. Some of the work was really hard and the pressure to do well was high.

I hope your DD finds things to enjoy at her school. Will it help when she chooses GCSE options? I remember counting down the lessons for most of year 9 until I never had to do art/ music/ technology again. Secondary school is hard, academically (surely almost everyone struggles with at least some subjects, most people aren't brilliant at everything) and socially. My DC are younger and we are not at that stage yet so I have no advice on how to help her.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/09/2019 10:08

Hated it

Sometimes you get sick of going to school.

I was done at 12/13 years old.

DD loved her school, amazing group of friends, no issue over the work, she was in the bottom set for everything and wasn't bothered but at 15 she was done just wanted to move her life forward

unknownn · 13/09/2019 10:10

I absolutely loved primary school, i would be up super early every morning literally buzzing to go in. I loved everything about it.
Secondary was a different story, I wasnt 'bullied' as such, but as there are lots of new people, you find everybody trying to prove themselves and find their place on the 'popular' scale. You grow up in primary as a little toddler and you become almost like a little family, when youre little you dont have the silly 'popular' attitudes amongst you as such.
But all of a sudden youre then thrown in with a bunch of kids that dont know you and you lose your confidence and your voice a little. It can be a shock. And the stupid social side of school can really impact your work attitude and learning. All of this can add to stress or anxiety (which it did for me) and cause you to be down. Not being bullied or hurt, just down. I can see the exact same behavior in my little brother also who is the same age as your DD. Its all just part of growing up and part of 'big school' life! Nothing to worry about, she'll be fine!

SingingSands · 13/09/2019 10:14

I think I did overall. Obviously there are times I didn't - struggled with the work, friendships, bit of bullying, shyness, the usual teenage angst etc. But that's life isn't it? I was there for 6 years, it wasn't fun fun fun every day. Kids grow and change a lot during high school. I can remember some great highlights.

My DD is in year 11. She's had highs and lows. When she's hating it, we know about it, she stomps about declaring "I hate school" and being dramatic. When she's loving it, she's like Tigger: bouncing about recalling funny stories or how well her lesson went.

What I don't do is dwell on any of this stuff, or let DD dwell on it. You have a bad day, you move on. You have a good day, you move on. Just be there for your DD and support her, on her bad and good days.

notso · 13/09/2019 10:16

Hated it.
Year seven was ok but after that the bitchiness, bullying and letching kicked in along with the tedium of the routine and the feeling of being on an examination production line.
Awful.

YeOldeTrout · 13/09/2019 10:18

I was bullied & miserable at primary.
Secondary was fine, I finally made friends, learnt to achieve.

DC have been also hugely much happier at secondary.

Mabelface · 13/09/2019 10:25

Hated it with a passion. Bullied mercilessly for being poor, small and skinny.

FlashAHHHH · 13/09/2019 10:31

Liked it up until the final couple of years, which were hell for me.

Mostly to do with friendship issues and being pushed out, it was a very difficult time.

Teachers were mostly uninspiring and apathetic which didn't help either!

Rachelover60 · 13/09/2019 10:37

No, I didn't like it, was very unhappy. I was quite out of my depth and used to run away and act daft. Nobody really understood. In the end I turned out OK I think but I don't look back on school days (aged 11 onwards), with any pleasure.

Kazzyhoward · 13/09/2019 10:39

No hated every bloody minute of it. I was a popular straight A* pupil at primary school, but was bullied from the first day at my crap comp. Not just name calling, but emotional abuse, physical abuse, assault, theft - the whole works really.

Despite regularly reporting it to the teachers, they really didn't give a shit and just "victim blamed" saying it was me who should try harder to fit in, me who should learn to stand up for myself, me who should learn self defence. Absolutely appalling attitude.

The worst two were each side of my surname in the alphabet and several teachers would arrange their class rooms by alphabet so that meant I was sat with them, put into groups with them, had to share the cooker in Home economics with them - the works really. Despite them knowing who my bullies were, and me pleading with them to change the seating plan, they refused.

Needless to say, I ended up failing all my O levels after 5 years of hell. I just lost interest - work was easy enough, but I spent most of the lessons worrying about how I'd be bullied at the next break - would it be fag burns to my arms, or would my school bag be stolen, or would it be spit in my hair? I ended up spending breaks and lunchtimes literally hiding - sometimes standing behind a door in an empty classroom, sometimes, hiding under the stage in the hall.

Because the bullies were sporty, the teachers loved them and they could do no wrong.

MotherSpider · 13/09/2019 10:40

Adored my primary school.
Very unhappy and lonely for 1st year of high school but began to feel more settled in the 2nd year. By 3rd year, I completely loved it.
Years later, I went back to work there for 7 years! So I actually worked there as long as I studied there.
Good memories of both times.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 13/09/2019 10:45

Probably around 80/20 hate/love ratio. I had some good friends and we had fun but had some awful frenemies that were downright nasty. I also always had hopeless crushes and didnt manage to get a boyfriend until year 5 (11 now) and he dumped me after 6 weeks and completely broke my heart.

My dd hates secondary. Hers is huge and Friendships are difficult. Her self confidence took a nose dive in year 8 when her group of friends turned against her. She just keeps her head down now, goes to the library at lunch and endures it. She can't wait to leave. It's sad that she's having such a crappy time. We make home life as happy as possible for her.

Soola · 13/09/2019 10:58

I loved school. Secondary school 1977-1982, there wasn’t bullying in those days/my school and we had a blast.

SoundofSilence · 13/09/2019 11:11

1980-1985. Hated it with a passion. I was plain, studious, lousy at sport and socially awkward. This apparently equalled being stuck up and earned me some minor bullying. I won't say I was friendless, but it was mostly old primary school friends letting me be a part of their new friendship groups out of kindness. I was miserable and used to engineer every possible excuse to be in the library or in the biology block with the plants and animals instead of the playground.

DS1, on the other hand, is there at the moment and has found his tribe in a way he didn't at primary school. Doesn't love it, can't wait to finish his A levels and leave, but jogs along knowing the end is in sight.

Kazzyhoward · 13/09/2019 11:53

I loved school. Secondary school 1977-1982, there wasn’t bullying in those days/my school and we had a blast.

Of course there was bullying "in those days". You may not have experienced it, and maybe it was better controlled in your school. Those dates are near enough the years I was at my crap comp - bullying was rife and uncontrolled. Bullying is nothing new. Thankfully, it's now in the open and schools/teachers can't pretend it doesn't happen quite so easily (though some still try!).

Echobelly · 13/09/2019 11:57

First 3 years were pretty miserable, no real friends, low- level bullying... but never gave up hope it would improve. Then I found 'my crowd' and had a fantastic time for the rest of it, which made up for those rubbish years. So it can prove great after all even after an unpromising start (even a really long unpromising start)

managedmis · 13/09/2019 12:30

Yeah, loved it, it was a total doss. Which was a problem. The kids were just all wayward and it was dog eat dog. I really should have gone to a grammar /private school where it was more structured and challenging.

notangelinajolie · 13/09/2019 12:40

I hated it. I went from being top of the class at primary to bottom at very posh high performing Grammar School. I felt stupid all the way through secondary. Didn't help when a Maths teacher said when I asked her for help, "quite frankly my dear, if you can't do that you shouldn't be at this school.". Sad thing is I passed my 11 plus all by myself with not one single bit of tutoring. It has traumatised me for life 😭