Did you enjoy secondary school ?

[Lardlizard]

If so why or why not
My dd 12 usedto love primary
And seems less keen now

I’m pretty sure she’s not being bullied and she does have friends
But I think she finds the work challenging

But it’s a shame that she usedto love school so much and now I can see her enthusiasm hasdrooped

Perhaps this so just to be expected ? She my eldest so no experience of this as parent

She just gone into year 8

Unknown I think you've articulated it perfectly. Aware I can't see inside DDs head but I imagine it's how you've described

I loved high school to the point I definitely peaked there .

Hated it. Academically I did well, never properly bullied, but it was quite clear I was weird and never really found my people. It took a long time to realise that that wasn’t my fault - it’s just my people weren’t at school!

Getting through it and into university was such a relief.

Didn't really enjoy it, but didn't hate it either. It was just something I had to do.

Neither loved nor hated it. I did very well academically. Was a good girl, never in trouble. Had nice friends bar the usual ups and downs. Teachers were mostly nice.

I am just not cut out for institutions. Living under the weight of sometimes arbitrary rules under threat of punishment puts a damper on my spirit.

I hated it. I was bullied badly for being tall, being poor and being non white and the teachers just used to let it happen, to me and others. Some teachers would join in.

I loved it. But I was popular. I think if you are in the popular crowd, a confident, head girl/boy type or a higher achiever in sport, secondary school life is fun. In my experience it’s the children who fall between these categories who may struggle.

I hated school from start to finish. Loved learning stuff, was bright, went to Grammar school, but just the thought of school filled me with dread. Probably not helped by the fact that my mother thought (and still does) that women couldn't be clever

Didn't really enjoy first three years (1982-89) as I was chubby, spotty and had weird frizzy hair (pre good hair products & straighteners ) and only one or two friends but once I was about 15 things picked - I found a nice group of friends. (Still pals with my bestie 36 years later!)
The last years and sixth form were great fun, although I think I was definitely ready to leave - some kids grow out of school.

My DS is 13 and found first year of big school tough but is dfefinitely happy now - I think it sometimes takes time to settle down.

In my mediocre RC primary I was relentlessly patronised for having a hearing loss and where I was physically bullied by a boy in the last 6 weeks and nothing was ever done.

1980-1984 I went to a tiny indie girls' all-through with a 'caring' reputation.

Caring? Hah. You had two types there, the spoilt not-very-bright rich kid, and the slightly vulnerable ones with issues but no formal diagnosis. It was a toxic mixture, and with only one form per year there was nowhere to go if you were bullied. Which I was. Long interrogations about my musical taste, intrusive questions about sexual and intimate matters, nicking my books and chucking them across the classroom until I made a fuss (whereupon they screamed with laughter and sneaked them back into my bag - they got lunch detentions when they started scribbling on my rough book though 😈). But nothing was as damaging as the controlling 'friendship' with a girl in the year above whose behaviour could have come straight out of a Pat Craven or Lundy Bancroft handbook on abuse. I look back and I'm amazed I'm a functioning adult with a reasonably well-behaved family.

I have a degree and a decent set of O and A levels, but never had a career that got off the ground. Whether that's down to naive career choices, or disability discrimination, or lack of confidence due to being bullied, or possibly undiagnosed/borderline ASD making me feel permanently out of step socially, I'm not sure. But I suspect school is always difficult in the teen years. I'm convinced teenagers are not herd animals and treating them like sheep is bound to lead to trouble.

ChopinIn10Minuets, that is so sad, I could weep. So often the people who are supposed, and employed, to help are quite the opposite.

You did well in spite of all that.

I'm convinced teenagers are not herd animals and treating them like sheep is bound to lead to trouble

You are quite right, we are all individuals.

I loved primary school, hated secondary. I almost dropped out just before my GCSE exams, glad I didn’t looking back but I left as soon as I could. Didn’t do A levels until I was older when I did an access course.

My secondary school was just awful, no better word for it. The teachers had no control.

God I hated every second of it.

Reasons:

Came from a very small primary and I was used to being "the cleverest in the class." Passed the 11+ exam and went to the local girls' grammar school. Culture was very much "you must get straight As and if you get a B your life is over." Everyone was cleverer than me and I'm not an all-rounder, so I'd get my As in certain subjects and then Cs and Ds in others, despite me bugging the teachers constantly for help!

I wasn't skinny. I certainly wasn't fat, but no lie, nearly everyone at that school was super skinny and I used to get teased mercilessly.

I found it hard to make friends. The other people from my primary school were in different classes and they soon had their own friends. I wasn't one of the cool kids and so I kind of got left to my own devices. The school was really cliquey as well.

Girls are bitchy. Nuff said.

My parents acrimoniously divorced whilst I was at that school and it really affected me. I had no one to talk to at school and I just remember sitting on my own in the library trying not to cry one day.

Became much better when the homesickness passed (boarding), classes were streamed and I was old enough to socialise with friends / day pupils on weekends

I hated school.

I was quiet and had one friend who only spent time with me after school waiting for the bus when she had nobody else.

I was seriously bullied on the bus and the school never had heating on in winter. There was also a drug problem at the school ( I never did drugs though)

It was a rural school that all the local chavs and underclass attended ( sorry but I don't know how else to describe the catchment area) and would never send my own dc there

I loved school. Secondary school 1977-1982, there wasn’t bullying in those days/my school and we had a blast.

Please tell me you're joking. I started at high school in 1980 and the bullying was horrific. I was very unusual in my school in that I didn't join in the bullying, nor did I receive any bullying - but watching it happen constantly was sickening.

Hated it.
Mediocre grammar set up in the 50s in response to growing middle class community in new build estates.
Passed 11+ despite coming from local council estate. Came top of entire year in every year's exams up to O levels and never had a word of praise or acknowledgement from staff. Only one ever said I ought to think about applying to university.
Biggest ever regret was staying on to 6th form. One of the minority in Upper 6th who wasn't asked to be a prefect. But hey I survived and made it to uni despite.

My first three years were awful at a prestigious grammar school then we moved. My next grammar was an absolute dream for me because it encouraged free thinking and I was in my element. It was the best time of my life. I have never forgotten any of my teachers.

didn't hate it but didn't much like it either. Lots of friendship issues, some teachers were horrible, PE a nightmare, found it hard to focus on the work. Sixth form much better.

I hope the teachers on MN read this so that they understand why many parents are as they are. We don't want our DC to have the miserable time we did.

I absolutely loathed it and it did untold damage to my mental health, the repercussions of which I'm still feeling more than a decade later.

I knew absolutely no one when I started, having moved to the opposite side of the city in the summer between primary and secondary.

The rules were petty and draconian, the awful uniform made me feel hideous and self conscious every day. There were a few wonderful teachers (one of whom I most likely owe my life to as without him as a confidant my suicidal notions would probably have become more than just notions). The bullying from both staff and pupils was insidious and constant. This was in the 2000s.

The utter lack of respect that was shown to pupils compared to my previous school and my home life, the awful cliquey nature of the other pupils who had all come up together from the local feeder schools, the overly harsh punishments for minor infractions of petty rules. The teachers who clearly got off on the power they wielded. The ridiculous work load (I found my a levels in a separate college FAR less stressful) and lack of free time. It was a Catholic school and I found it dogmatic and highly hypocritical.

I hated all of it.

I danced out of the door at the end of my last year there and almost had to be dragged back to get my exam results (which were all very good but I honestly didn't care at that point).

I still get a cold shiver if I ever have to go past that awful place for any reason. It felt like a prison sentence.

It's not school itself I hated either, or learning /lessons. I absolutely adored primary school and I loved college /higher education. The more I think about it the more certain I am I should have moved schools.

But no I did not enjoy it.

It was easily the worst five years of my life.

High school was hell.

I still get a cold shiver if I ever have to go past that awful place for any reason. It felt like a prison sentence.

I actually emigrated to make sure my children didn't end up back at my high school! Slightly OTT but very effective.

*I loved school. Secondary school 1977-1982, there wasn’t bullying in those days"

I was at school during that time. I left with the sixth form of 1984. I can assure you that there was bullying going on then. Luckily for you, you didn't experience it. I and many others did and will tell you differently.

I was reasonably OK at primary school but I can't say I really enjoyed secondary school much. I was bullied because my Dad was a local primary school headmaster and some of the children at my secondary school had come from his school.

I made some good friends, though one girl turned very bitchy to me from about the age of 13 onwards and ostracised me from my original group.

I coped by withdrawing a lot and by reverting as much as I could to the former primary school friends who had been put in a different form to me at secondary school. They were good. They got me through some tough times.

Sixth form was OK, though academically much harder. Many of the nasty ones left at 16 and those of us who did come back were that bit more mature, and it really made a difference.

My best memories were of sixth form, but overall I would not say that my secondary school days were the best of my life.

Bold fail at the top there. Sorry.

@drsausage not ott at all. In fact I'd say a perfectly reasonable reaction.

My dc will most certainly never be stepping foot in my old school. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Yes. It had a huge library. Home was boring.