Did you enjoy secondary school ?

[Lardlizard]

If so why or why not
My dd 12 usedto love primary
And seems less keen now

I’m pretty sure she’s not being bullied and she does have friends
But I think she finds the work challenging

But it’s a shame that she usedto love school so much and now I can see her enthusiasm hasdrooped

Perhaps this so just to be expected ? She my eldest so no experience of this as parent

She just gone into year 8

It was a mixture for me. I never really fit in with a particular group. I was always the girl in the friendship group who was left out of things and bitched about behind my back.
I had a couple of good friends though and remember fun times too so it wasn't all bad.

I hated it. I was bullied, in particular for being academic. It was an enormous comp and I felt lost. I had chronically low self esteem and no resilience. I desperately wanted to fit in but my (older, churchy) parents were blind to it and clueless about the needs of teenagers.

I only found out years later that my parents had considered private school for me. I wish they'd said at the time, perhaps I'd have been able to shine instead of hiding myself away, pretending to be less able than I was and losing all confidence. My older brother was also bullied there. I think he feels the same as me.

The irony of all of this is that I became a Secondary school teacher

Luckily there's no chance my kids were ever going to experience my old school as one of them is a boy, and the school closed down abruptly the year I left. Too small to be viable and it hadn't kept up with the times. I always think of it whenever I read blurb about small independent schools with a caring ethos.

I went to sixth form elsewhere to a high ranking grammar that's now almost impossible to get into, but back then was coasting slightly given the calibre of its pupils. Academically it was a shock to the system, but a much better atmosphere socially, and I'm still in touch with my best friend from there (it didn't serve her very well - spiky academic profile, possibly dyspraxic/ASD, she had to get maths/science GCSEs later on). I got what I needed for uni there but it wasn't easy.

Left in 1993

Absolutely hated it.

I was a bookworm and still do love learning. Never understood why but I was put in a middle/lower group even though the only subject I struggled with was maths. Once you were put in a set it was hard to get moved up.

Minor bullying which although probably wouldn't sound bad if written down really affected my already low self esteem.

Hated the popularity contest and wouldn't play the game to try and be with the in group.

Most of the girls (and boys) were unpleasant.

Ditto, the teachers.

Always remember the last day and genuinely not understanding girls crying I was relieved.

Went to sixth form college (not the school one!) and absolutely loved it, made lots of friends some who I'm still good friends with. Only downside was that now I was finally enjoying myself, could wear what I wanted etc I didn't apply myself academically felt like I'd had a New lease of life!

I hated it until I got older. I was too posh, too geeky, too strange.

Then I found my people. And had a ball.

Liked Primary school.
Hated all 5 years of hell in Secondary School.
Went to a rough Secondary school in the late 70s early 80s.
You were either bullied for doing your homework or bullied into letting them copy your homework.
I was absent half the time.

Just wanted to say to you KazzyHoward. Reading your post brought a lump to my throat. Sorry you went through that, I hope your life is much happier now.

Forgot to mention PE.
Outside in rain and hail wearing blue knickers and a short sleeved airtex top! While the teachers stood there all wrapped up.
Netball -what a pathetic game, all that standing around. I wanted to play basketball but that was for boys.
Allowing popular people to pick their teams.

Compulsory showers under a dribble of water, no shower curtain, no soap etc completely pointless as your feet got dirtier walking back through the changing area when wet. Had to cue up and show the lesbian PE teacher your knickers to prove you weren't wearing them. It's taken me over 25 years to find out that actually I don't mind exercise

Overall yes! I was certainly never a "cool" kid, but I had a lovely group of diverse female friends (still close to many of them now). Some I had more in common with than others eg music taste, but we all got on really well. I hated contributing in class so I wasn't hugely popular with most of my teachers, but I did well in my GCSEs and A levels. Sixth form was really fun as a lot of the students had big parties for their 18ths and invited near enough the whole year, so made friends that way too.

I hated it. I loved primary, but absolutely hated high school

I had friends, but still got bullied. Started low level with names, exclusion from parties/events. Built up to physical in the last few years. My past with my parents was dragged up again after years of being forgotten at primary.

I hated the moving around the school. Plus having to adjust to a different teacher and teaching style every hour.

It was too big and too busy and I was a quiet kid who got lost.

I loved primary school, had such a great time and really felt I got given the best education tailored to me.

Hated secondary school though. Wasn't bullied and had a fair share of friends but I found secondary school very restrictive. It was like you had to be a certain way and even learn in a certain way, otherwise the teachers wouldnt even bother with you and you would just be written off.

There were parts that I enjoyed - I loved learning and was interested in most subjects. I had a small group of friends and we had a lot of laughs together. We had some great school trips that I think back on fondly.

There were parts that I hated though - I was bullied by the popular kids so that knocked my confidence, especially in pe. In primary school I had always been quite sporty and enjoyed games like rounders and netball but the bullying in secondary school, and the teachers who seemed to encourage it through their blatant favoritism, quashed that and now I avoid any physical sport.

All in all, my secondary school experience was neither great nor terrible.

I hated secondary school. Homelife was chaotic and unhappy, by Yr 10 I had moved out. My attendance in yr11 wasn't great, and I ended up redoing some gcses later on at a college.

Me ? Yes, I loved it
ds? Yes - loved it - they did lots of Outdoor Ed, which he loved / he had great friends / he became a bit more independent / got some good 'rapport' with some of the teachers
dd - not as much as she liked Primary, but then she LOVED her Primary school - so many opportunities.

Loathed every minute of i. Always had the feeling the staff just saw us as numbers - nothing like the relationship you had with the staff at primary school.

it

I enjoyed the first 5 years. The sixth form I didn't enjoy as the whole year was in a common room and there was a dominant group of girls that had been in a different class who were quite bitchy and I felt bullied by one of them. One of the heads of sixth form was lovely but one was unkind. (Girls' Grammar)

Nope. I hated school. Primary I hated because I had no friends and I was bullied. Then I became a horrible person because I joined in with the bullies to avoid being bullied myself. This triggered a long journey of self hatred and guilt, anger, and a resentment of authority.
Secondary school was awful. I had my group of misfit friends and kept out of the way of most other people - I was full of self loathing and found the teen angst years excruciating.
The academic pressures of my secondary school were immense and I felt a failure in every aspect of my life.
Jolly old times!!

I Liked the friends/social aspect but it was boring and stressful. Lots of pressure with it being a grammar and we were only treated as well as our test results. Lots of teachers were rubbish, no pastoral care or any kind of guidance career or otherwise. Rubbish offering of clubs - only 2 sport and 2 music groups.
We got a new head in my last year who really started shaking things up and I believe it's changed a lot for the better now but glad my kids don't go there.

I loathed it. I had some health problems that started at 14, not major, but recurring, so missed quite a lot of time. My form leader was a bully and gave absolutely zero support. Regularly told me I'd make nothing of my life, rolled eyes when I returned after an absence, and there were several times he threatened to punish my friends if I missed more time, which just made me more stressed and feel even worse! I was very shy/quiet as a teen so never felt able to mention it to any other teacher, so I just tried to push through as best as I could. It was such a relief when I was able to leave!

Life is such a mixed bag