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Original poster

Latch Key Kids

79 replies

user1483778494 · 12/09/2019 21:58

Hi,
DD has started secondary school and will be 12 in a few weeks. DD walks home on her own and has her own key and lets herself in. She is home alone from about 3.30 until 5.30. Does anyone else do this? As to be honest I feel judged and have been made to feel guilty about this. I work from 9.00 til 5.00. My daughter is happy with this and has been longing to walk home since year 5 in primary. I work two minutes down the road in car and so does my husband. Today I have felt that I have been questioned about what I do. Someone broached the subject of the law e.g what is the legal age. I did not raise this conversation by the way it was my colleagues. I explained the NSPCC guidelines to my colleague but I just feel judged/questioned and I have not even brought this conversation up. I also happened to mention that my child has an inset day from school coming up and another colleague jumped in and said are you going to leave her all day. In my mind I was thinking what! But said no my husband is off work that day, which he is and I would not leave my DD all day on her own and I never have.

DH and myself decided now would be the right time to encourage independence.

Anyway what do you think? Do you feel judged over your parenting decisions. Does anyone let their child walk home and be home alone for an hour or so?

OP posts:
BiByeBaby · 12/09/2019 22:04

Yes and have done since year 6. DD is happy with it. She has a phone if any drama. I always leave food that she can cook or a sandwich etc. She likes the independence. Also what else are you meant to do as there is no childcare for Year 7 around here and parents have to work.

Ignore them

ghostmouse · 12/09/2019 22:05

My dd is 12 and has been doing this since the start of year 7. I work half eight till 5 and am not home till 5.20.

Dd is on her own for anything up to an hour and a half depending on when her 17 year old sister gets in.

Don't worry about it. If your dd is sensible and you have a few rules in place like cooking which I do..my dd is a bit clumsy with the toaster..then all well and good.

You know your child and don't feel guilty.

Oh and I've left mine on an inset day by herself, had no choice but she was fine

Cat0115 · 12/09/2019 22:06

Same here. DS got himself out of the door at 8 every morning and walked to school. I'd long gone with dd by 7 a.m. Then back at 4 and alone u til 6. I work an hour away. We have good neighbours and granny and two uncles are a 15 min drive away. He makes easy meals of tinned soup and toast or scrambled egg and is fine about it. Tell your colleagues to butt out!

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Families
Bat3 · 12/09/2019 22:08

Mine did this from Year 6 onwards. She was fine. Don’t worry about it.

DidYeAyee · 12/09/2019 22:12

I've been thinking about this alot recently. DS is 10 and quite independent already. He can take the bus to and from school alone, go to the shop, order in a restaraunt, ask for help in a shop with confidence. I have left him occassionally for ten minutes or so if I absolutely have to nip to the shop and he's already in PJs or whatever but somehow letting him make his own way home the n be there alone for a couple of hours seems different...

When he's made his own way home in the past, I've always been at the other end to know he is back safely. I do worrh something wod happen and I might be none the wiser until I finish work.

Namechangenecessity · 12/09/2019 22:14

Some parents will still be wiping kids arses when they are 30! If your daughter is happy and able to cope, and you just check on her when she gets back then it’s absolutely fine.My son was left on inset days once in secondary school , though I did check on him by phone and I never thought anything of it, he was a sensible lad.

trinitybleu · 12/09/2019 22:14

From Y7 DD has done this. Time on her own varies and this summer she's done a whole day by herself.

mygrandchildrenrock · 12/09/2019 22:14

In the olden days children walked home from school much younger than your DD. They often had the door key on a piece of string round their neck. Hence the phrase latch key kids.
It was my DS’s favourite time of the day, a couple of hours peace and quiet. He was much younger than Y7!
Please don’t feel guilty about doing what parents have always done.

TheBigFatMermaid · 12/09/2019 22:16

I think what you are doing is fine as long as she is sensible.

My DS is a bit of a twit, but can now safely left when we get up early to take DD to karate 26 miles away. We know he will go from bed to games console and there he will stay! He has just turned 13. We were certainly leaving him for a couple of hours to go shopping, visiting a friend etc for a long time previous to his 13th birthday, I think maybe when he was 11, actually.

Original poster
user1483778494 · 12/09/2019 22:49

Thank you everyone. Just to add that none of said colleagues actually have any children yet. There comments did make me feel guilty, like I was a bad parent.

How are kids going to cope in life if wrapped up in cotton wool?

OP posts:
Couchbettato · 12/09/2019 23:03

I think it just depends on how sensible DD is. At the end of Y6 before high school I was given a key and got the bus on my own, and made my way to school if there were problems with the bus or if I was late for any reason and took accountability. This sometimes meant getting 2 buses because no one in my family drove and my mum was a single parent.

My brother on the other hand is 14 and is a bit of a ditz. He is allowed a key to let himself in but there's this almighty rush for either my Mum or grandmother to check he hasn't burnt the house down or electrocuted himself.

Snog · 12/09/2019 23:25

I did this and my dd really disliked it. It was less than ideal for us and if I could have my time again and had any choice I wouldn't have done it

Howmanysleepsnow · 12/09/2019 23:47

My eldest 2 were alone (together) for an hour after school from y5 and y6. They loved it (and I had no choice!).

Embracelife · 12/09/2019 23:51

It s fine.

DropZoneOne · 12/09/2019 23:55

DD has been doing that for the last term of year 6 - previously she went to after school club.

Now in year 7, i changed my hours so I'm home by 5pm so she's on her own for 1.5 hours. She's fine and loves that independence.

We built up "home alone" time from the age of 10 so she would get used to it.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 12/09/2019 23:58

Its fine. One of my school friends was like this as her Mum was still at work & her Dad had moved out. I remember hearing her booking an appointment and being marvelled at her independence. My Mum did all that for me and it took me longer to get to grips with basic life admin as an adult.

Evilmorty · 13/09/2019 00:00

I did this, I didn’t mind it at all. Got myself up and out to school in the mornings too. Age 10 I got my first set of keys.

ChangeItChild · 13/09/2019 00:14

Mine both did this Y7, my DS is now in university and my DD is in Y11.

I always left prepared food for them, especially in the younger years. (A sandwich to toast or pasta to warm up etc.) and would give them a phone call to hear how their day had gone.

We also have neighbours close by if they need.

It's always been fine and they enjoyed the independence. They are well behaved kids, this wouldn't have worked if they used that unsupervised time to misbehave, but they never let me down.

I do feel guilty occasionally, but I have no other choice.

I've never experienced any judgement for this, in fact, most of my friends and colleagues do the same.

You'll find the most judgement on parenting choices from non-parents or parents with very young children. Just smile and nod, they don't really understand yet.

likeridingabike · 13/09/2019 00:16

DD has had a key since starting year 7, let's herself in, sorts out pets, gets a snack etc. If I could only get her to start dinner 😁

DD certainly wouldn't want to have to go to grandparents every day, she wants to go home, get changed, get homework done and relax.

Episcomama · 13/09/2019 00:27

My daughter is in year 7. I am out of the house from 7:45 till 5:15. She doesn't leave the house until 9:15 for school and is home by 4:15. I trust her to get herself to school and back. They're not babies

Kiwiinkits · 13/09/2019 00:47

Every parent LOVES getting helpful advice from non parents. It’s what we live for! Grin

ColaFreezePop · 13/09/2019 04:06

Your colleague is ridiculous.

Virtually every child I know and known can't wait to do this as it means that they are closer to being grown up.

Original poster
user1483778494 · 13/09/2019 05:48

Yes I was a bit miffed. I also thought why are they so concerned and what business is it of their’s? They don’t know my child and have never met her.
I have no choice as there are no childcare options for this age and I do need to work.

I was a latch key kid myself in the eighties from the age of nine and I was ok. I also used to play out all day and not get in until tea time and I was ok. Times have changed as rarely see kids play out anymore.

OP posts:
minesagin37 · 13/09/2019 06:27

My DD did this from Y7 and generally came home with a friend then her friend would get picked up from ours. It's fine.

TheRealMrsHopper · 13/09/2019 06:29

I think it all depends on the child. My DD has done this since her last year at Primary and loved the peace and quiet she got until the rest of us all arrived home. My DS would be a nervous wreck having to let himself in and being alone. So if your DD is happy it doesn't matter one little bit what anyone else thinks.

Now my DD is 16 and picks her bro up from the childminder on her way home, deals with the dog and gets dinner on. I love it Smile