For those who didn't have sex as teenagers - why did you wait?

[NeverSayFreelance]

This is totally random, but I'm on a train and musing to myself.

I see a lot of MNers talking about their children having sex as teens, and then lots of responses from other MNers talking about how they had sex as teens themselves.

I'm somewhat surprised by it! I'm in my twenties and raised non-religious, so it's not a generational thing - I just was not remotely interested in sex as a teenager! Honestly until I met my DP at 21, I still wasn't interested.

If you missed the horny teenager phase, what were your reasons? Let me know I'm not alone here

Catholic and waiting for marriage. Then when I decided I wasn't bothered enough about waiting, my boyfriend at the time said he thought I'd regret it and wouldn't. Then after him I went out with an evangelical Christian at uni who was also waiting for marriage. Until we both got drunk when we were 21 and just cracked on .

Bit of a dogmatic interpretation of christian
There is a difference between Christian and fundamentalist christian!!

Too busy going out in big mixed (boys/girls) group drinking, dancing, concerts, talking, laughing! Best Years of my life. None of us paired up. We were mates. Brilliant uncomplicated life.

This ^
It just wasn't the culture, or expectation amongst any of my friends.
I know it's not fashionable to say it on MN, but I think sex is something that is part of a loving and committed relationship, I can't get my head round the concept of leaping into bed with someone you haven't got to know first.

First boyfriend at 16, we decided to wait - bu the time I was 19 we were still waiting. We had built it up to be this monumental thing.

I then met a man twice my age my head was completely turned, I dumped my bf and we shagged in his fince's bed .

Wasn't in a relationship, didn't interest me and as an older teen really didn't want to risk pregnancy or AIDS, so I steered well clear until I found someone I wanted to marry. We started going or when I was nearly 19, but didn't have sex until I was 20. We married at 23. He was also a virgin.

*out

Just didn't want to. Was waiting for 'the one' until I gave up at 21! I had lots of lectures from parents too.

I just didnt want to, and still don't.

(I'm 34 and still a virgin)

19. Cause I was fussy and not attractive enough to get away with it

For me personally it was a number of reasons, but the most likely reason is my Autism, my sons psychologist told me that people on the Autistic Spectrum tend to emotionally mature at a rate roughly four years behind their peers. This was definitely true for me, I still played with dolls until the summer before moving up to high school. My period never started until I was fifteen and it wasn’t until after that, that boys actually started to interest me.

I was raised Catholic and was determined by age 11, that I would only ever have one sexual partner. It wasn’t for the lack of boys and men trying, but I remained a virgin until I met my now husband at 20 ( about to turn 21). He waited until I was ready and I waited until I was sure he was ‘the one’ which was the lengthy period of 5 weeks 😂. After which I realised that I really loved sex 😂 so it was just as well that my husband really was there to stay, as I doubt I could have kept my promise to my child self of having only one sexual partner. As it is, I married my soulmate and seventeen years later we continue to have great sex- no regrets whatsoever from me.

If I think about it, the average age that most teens start having sex is (or maybe was now as I read this years ago)16, so my emotional maturity at 20 was the same as neurotypical teens who first have sex at 16.

I was 18. I fully took in all the advice in teenage magazines about waiting til you find someone special, always using contraception etc

When I was 14, a guy tried it on with me and I was just shocked to my core that anyone would consider it a good idea to have sex at that age.

I couldn't believe it when some of my friends didn't use condoms etc too.

I lost my virginity at 16 I think I just did it to see what all the fuss was about. I didn't like it. I never had any serious boyfriends before that and I think then I found all the boys my age immature so when for older men. I knew friends at school were doing it and some were pregnant at 16 I just think I wasn't interested. After that I didn't have sex again until I was 20 and I it actually meant something as I was in love.

I just never quite felt ready, I don't know why. Also I didn't meet anyone I really wanted to shag, apart from one and he was in a relationship.

In the final year of uni I'd been flirting with a friend's housemate and he eventually came back to mine one night. We had a fantastic shag and I was pleased to get it over with because all my friends had been having sex since their mid teens, and I definitely felt like a freak.

I've only had a couple of LTRs since - still quite shy and rarely meet anyone I like (other than those already in relationships, like someone said upthread) but there's obviously some sort of hangup/mental block there. Doesn't help that my most recent ex was an absolute cunt so I don't feel great about my appearance and don't expect anyone to find me attractive.