Things you should be able to do as an adult

[ThePolishWombat]

but can’t
I’m convinced that everyone has at least one skill that they’ve just never mastered that every other adult around you seems to be able to do!
I’ll start:

I cannot for the life of me work out chopsticks
And do you know what makes that even more embarrassing? I’m married to an Asian man for Christ sake He’s tried to teach me numerous times, but it would appear my stupid, European fingers and brain just can’t work together to eat the beautiful food he cooks with the traditional eating apparatus My 4yo can do it and I can’t

What’s yours?

I can't play cards or chess.

I find card games (the ones I understand)really tedious. I don’t really see the point.

When supermarkets used to give out the thin type plastic bags I could never ever, ever, ever open them ever!
I was so glad when all my local supermarkets started only selling the bags for life, my embarrassing ineptitude was finally over!

ThePolishWombat

Have you tried tookie sticks? www.cooksmill.co.uk/kitchen/kitchen-utensils/oriental-utensils/typhoon-rookie-stix-red-black.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIk_rstdLF5AIVGflRCh0ptQ26EAkYASABEgK3JPD_BwE

I can use my washer dryer to

Wash

wash and dry

but I cannot for the life of me use it just on dry.

Budget
Iron properly
Have a clue ...about anything really

I am also useless when it comes to car maintenance
I can do my screenwash, that’s it.

DH is military and deployed overseas for 5 months last summer. It was the first time in my 7 years of driving/owning a car that I washed it and figured out how to put air in my tyres myself.
Prior to that my DH or my Dad had always done it for me I would actually ring my dad when my car was particularly dirty and ask if I could drive the hour and a half over to my parents house to get it clean I was nervous about using the big robot car wash at the supermarket

Can't work Excel. I've done the training, managed fine in the session, can't for the life of me remember how to do it when I'm on my own.

I'm another one who needs a run up to use the phone. Any conversation has to be rehearsed in my mind as I'm convinced the words won't come out.

Switching the electricity back on when it trips out. We have a very sensitive system with lots of trip switches and it involves turning a knob and flicking switches and whatnot. Also it's in the far end of the cellar where the spiders live.

Oh, that's another one, I can't go up in the attic or down in the cellar. DH could be storing dead bodies there for all I know.

myimaginarycat thanks for that but yes I do have a metal ricer - still no good! Might have to give it another try!

I love you people. You're making me feel competent, or at least, less incompetent. Even though I can't check the air pressure of the tyres on my car.

@Blamangeme try steaming rather than boiling your potatoes till soft. They won't get too "wet" then. Once you've "riced", season and try not to over stir. They will be lovely, I promise!

I also cannot find my way out of an unfamiliar building easily. I have no sense of direction and can't trace my steps back.

Omg me too! I thought it was just me! I find it quite disconcerting and get a bit panicky because everything looks different!

I wonder if it's a 'thing'?

I also cannot find my way out of an unfamiliar building easily. I have no sense of direction and can't trace my steps back.

I get lost in Primark changing rooms...

I can't whistle, I just accidentally spit. My DH has banned me from trying practicing

I'm 32 and I still look for adult if I need something, like an adultier adult.

As above I also still get the fear if I lose my mum in a shop.

I use righty tighty, lefty loosy for DIY.

Cook an omelette! I try to flip and BAM... scrambled egg 🙈

Understand mobile phones, data roaming, Wi-Fi? Whenever we go anywhere, I'm outraged that my phone won't work, until one of my DCs put the Wi-Fi code in.

Grapefruitgin. Omelette, don't flip, put it under a grill or v hot oven for a few moments and it'll puff up beautifully

Drive :( I feel like I don't get to be a real adult until I can master it but it's just impossible to pass a test. And then I see complete and utter idiots I wouldn't trust to man a toaster who have a driving licence Why on earth can't I do it?

@BertieBotts have you tried an automatic?

No, I am in Germany and it's hard enough trying to find an instructor who speaks English let alone one who speaks English and teaches automatic. But in any case I don't have any problem with gear changes. My issues seem to be attention and positioning on the road. I do have ADHD so it's probably just that :( I'm going to ask my doctor about trying again when my medication is stable.

Knit. I can crochet a blob, but the counting to make a form ain't happening!

Poach an egg (all other eggs are fine)

Follow instructions beyond stage 3

My sense of direction is good in that I recognise places/ land marks, but if I'm navigating and I'm giving contradictory verbal/ physical cues, follow the physical ones. I do know my left and right though, hypothetically.

Long division. Several people have tried very patiently, but it ain't happening. Thank goodness the teachers of the past were wrong; I nearly always have a calculator in my pocket thanks to the smart phone.

Do maths that looks like alphabet spaghetti.

Bodmas. Just go from left to right like everything else FFS. Bodmas makes no sense.

Carry more than 3 numbers in my head.

Throw/ catch with any accuracy although I am less terrible than I was in my youth, probably due to the lack of a mocking PE class.

Tidy as I go. It's taken me 3 attempts to load the washing machine. The swimming bag was right next to it. I got sidelined after taking the clean dry load upstairs, then again at emptying the water drawer and discovering the sink was blocked, then forgot to actually set the washing machine off.

Organise myself ahead of time. It normally results in forgetting something critical. I once felt really smug at planning some lessons a few days ahead... until I came to teach them and couldn't remember any of the content as it wasn't fresh in my mind.

Plan time effectively to know how much faffing time is required. I'm normally puntual... in a sweaty, flustered way because time is always eaten by something unforseen, and the earlier I was running, the more time there is for something to develop. Things run more smoothly when in the nick of time, especially when herding my offspring who share my gene pool are involved.

Drive random cars. I'm small. My driving position is apparently a bit niche.

Remember what everyone wanted by the time it's time to be served.

I suspect dyspraxia. There's a lot of it in the family including one of the DCs.

I can however remember the height of a standard door in mm because I'm good at linking random facts to a concept that had some other meaning.

Put on eyeliner- wouldn’t have a clue where to begin
Change a car tyre
Complain in a restaurant/ return food

European brains can handle chopsticks, my Chinese best mate often compliments my form. Look it up online there are easy tutorials.

I am really shit at loading the dishwasher... really crap. I never used one growing up and I just don't care about it enough.

Also yes cling film - evil bastard. We don't even keep it in the house.

Whistle

@Verily1 what do you mean you can't google? You just type in a query and it answers it

@LemonPrism I have tried numerous times! Literally every single time we go to MIL’s house, I try....I just end up dropping either my food, my chopsticks, or both and embarrass myself. All the while my 4yo sits there munching away looking at me like “Oh my god, my mother is a moron”
I just can’t get my fingers to work together!

what do you mean you can't google?

My husband can't Google effectively. It's extremely odd. He still treats it like Ask Jeeves.