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Things you should be able to do as an adult

140 replies

ThePolishWombat · 09/09/2019 19:42

but can’t Blush
I’m convinced that everyone has at least one skill that they’ve just never mastered that every other adult around you seems to be able to do!
I’ll start:

I cannot for the life of me work out chopsticks Blush
And do you know what makes that even more embarrassing? I’m married to an Asian man for Christ sake Blush He’s tried to teach me numerous times, but it would appear my stupid, European fingers and brain just can’t work together to eat the beautiful food he cooks with the traditional eating apparatus Confused My 4yo can do it and I can’t Blush

What’s yours?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 09/09/2019 23:55

Oh yes a trip to the tip is very grown up. GrinLooks like you are sorting everything out.

I am quite rubbish at taking things back to the shop though.

dayslikethese1 · 10/09/2019 00:06

I an rubbish at:
Gardening
Mornings
Finding my way anywhere
Make-up
Dressing appropriately for the weather
Not buying stuffed animals

I think I might be a child still Grin

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 10/09/2019 00:06

Can't poach eggs. I've tried all the tricks. Finally resorted to poachets - thank you Lakeland!

Blamangeme · 10/09/2019 00:08

I cant make decent mashed potato--it's either lumpy or too soft. I have tried various methods and I have a ricer too but still no joy. Any tips here (as seems to the trend on this threadSmile) gratefully received!

Blamangeme · 10/09/2019 00:10

dayslikethese as in taxidermyConfused or stuffed toys?! Grin

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 10/09/2019 00:19

@Blamangeme have you got a metal ricer? Mine's from IKEA, much better than its plastic predecessor. I add a tiny bit of butter to the potato as I push it through the ricer, gives it a lovely flavour and softens the mix.

Cattenberg · 10/09/2019 00:42

I can’t make pancakes to save my life. They cook on the outside, but stay gooey in the middle, then stick to the pan and break up Confused

Also:

Understand mobile phones/apps/mobile data

Operate a tin-opener

Drive

Wink

Whistle

Click my fingers

Tie shoelaces the proper way

Be punctual (I was a bit ropey before I had DD, who’s one, but now I’m hopeless)

DonttouchthatLarry · 10/09/2019 00:47

I struggle with zips - I pull them up and realise the bottom part is halfway up and then it gets jammed and I've even had to step out of a coat as couldn't move it. If I get the 2 parts together properly and do it up without it going wonky I can guarantee some fabric will get stuck in the teeth. Give me buttons any day Grin.

HepzibahGreen · 10/09/2019 00:54

A good slosh of white wine vinegar in the boiling water for poached eggs. Try it, it works.
I can't buy lightbulbs either, but to be fair they make NO SENSE anymore!
I also can't go into a nail salon. I'm dying for fakey nails in all sorts of colours but I'm too scared to go in because I know they will be horrified at my chewed stubs.

Orangepancakes · 10/09/2019 01:33

Calling any stranger on the phone. Have always hated it and have to psych myself up first!

LiveInAHidingPlace · 10/09/2019 01:41

I can't drive and I'm shit at things like putting up a tent but that's mainly because I'm too lazy to figure it out before hand.

I always have this notion of myself as an outdoorsy worldly person but I'm actually a bit shit at anything like that.

Graphista · 10/09/2019 03:00

"I have limited success at buying the correct lightbulb first time." OMG yes! I've taken to keeping a memo on my phone which room uses which bulbs!

Sainsburys apparently have the same problem...when I ordered a bayonet bulb I got sent as a sub...a screw in bulb of a completely different size! Yea that'll work 🤔🙄

Mine are :

ANY kind of DIY - seriously couldn't do it to save my life if I were being held at gunpoint and Ali had to do was hang a one nail picture!

Spatial awareness - buying furniture I cannot picture/correctly ascertain if it will fit! My mother can merely glance at specs or an item in a showroom and know straight away if an item will fit.

Play poker - I'd LOVE to know, I've tried googling and downloaded umpteen "learn poker" apps - they ALL assume you already know the basics! I don't! I need the very very basics, how many cards dealt per player, which hands beat which etc

"I went to Gala Bingo for the first time a few months ago..." I've been with mum and various other relatives to "the bingo" probably 20 or so times over the years? Still no fucking clue how it works! Someone has to get the right sheet ready for me and tell me if its a line, 4 corners, full house we're going for, I've embarrassed myself on more than a few occasions by calling "house" when I hadn't won

Make scones - no idea what I am doing wrong but they NEVER rise. I'm a fair if basic baker but can manage most baked to a reasonable standard but scones? Nope! Thick weirdly shaped biscuits every time! My mum makes lovely scones and is generally a fab baker but she can't do light pastries, they either collapse or could be used to build walls!

"I can't tie shoe laces properly. I make 2 bows and tie them together" I know how to tie a bow but can never do it so that it STAYS tied for any length of time so I double knot at the end

"bake cakes, but I can cook" I'm mostly ok at both though as a veggie I'm not particularly confident with meat. Interesting scene in tv series "bull" (about jury selection) where jurors were asked if they preferred to bake or cook, bull says something like baking is more of a science and requires a scientific, methodical approach whereas cooking is more of an art, can tolerate a more flexible approach which I have to say I think I agree with... To get a cake to turn out right you have to keep the right balance of wet and dry ingredients and prep in a certain way to ensure it rises (or doesn't) as it should - examples of it being a mistake to randomly swap out ingredients or skip prep steps seen regularly on bake off! Whereas cooking is more subjective "season to taste"

"any maths whatsoever" I can do/get my head round basic arithmetic even to point of creating spreadsheets, fractions/percentages at a push - no chance when it comes to trig/geometry/calculus (I'm not even entirely sure what that is!)!!!

Poach eggs - tried ALL the "tricks" nope!

Sense of direction - nope! I've gone as far as driving 2 counties away because I know how to get home from X town in that county!

"Get keys out of my bag and open the front door without spending five minutes scrabbling in my bag for them" tip from another thread - hair elastic plus one of those clips like you get on trolley tokens to attach/unattach the token to attach keys to zip on inside pocket of handbag - genuine non sarcastic HTH

BigPizzalover I've managed over many years to learn to resist "just a bit more" when making pasta...now just need to learn to resist when making rice/cous cous/quinoa and pearl barley 😂😂😂 I try and use the excuse of being from a big family - problem is I've been a single mother to just dd for 16 years so it's wearing a bit thin as is using dd as excuse for my weight

FuckFacePlatapus · 10/09/2019 03:26

Shutting the bastard microwave door! Yes it sticks and i get full on Gordon Ramsay rage lol

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 10/09/2019 03:37

Mixer taps. I cant bear them i can never guess which way is the right way for hot or cold. As they all seem to be set up differently! I still have that fear i dont want to drink out the hot water tap as it was minging water but things are probably different nowadays.

mawof3soontobe · 10/09/2019 03:37

I can't cook rice properly. It either stays hard or goes into a congealed sticky mess. Microwave packs in this house! Also can't poach an egg, sew, make an omelette without scrambling it by accident, make a pot of lentil soup. I can make any other kind of soup but my lentil soup always tastes like dishwater or I use the wrong amount or kind of stock and it's just salty broth! I can't boil and mash turnip/swede either, it ALWAYS comes out with hard lumps. I swear I've boiled it for nearly an hour.... Same result!

BUT!...
I can fold a fitted sheet perfectly neatly, tackle a king size duvet change by myself at the grand height of 5ft 2, and I can wallpaper so I believe these particular features make up for my misgivings

mawof3soontobe · 10/09/2019 03:39

I'm also absolutely crap at life admin. Keeping and remembering appointments for five people, keeping on top of letters in kids school bags, absolutely foreign to me!

Pinkarsedfly · 10/09/2019 03:48

Budget. I’m totally shite with money.

Tell left from right - particularly transposing. When someone says ‘My left or your left?’ I get a bit ragey and want to say ‘how the fuck should I know?’ It all seems a bit arbitrary if the concept of left and right depends on your perspective. I feel like it should be more concrete than that.

Ice a sponge cake. I don’t have a sufficiently light touch and it just ends up looking like someone’s dropped it.

I have very little success with baking pastry too.

Bobthefishermanswife · 10/09/2019 04:20

I'm hopeless at cooking without burning myself, this week I have a huge burn on my arm from making a risotto and catching myself on the pan handle in the oven...

Also,, can not:
knit,
iron,
remember which bin is going out,
walk past a dog without saying "ohhh look at that pup",
follow the list when doing the food shop, I ALWAYS deviate.

Longlivepenguins · 10/09/2019 04:30

Make up. (Bloody clueless so I've given up.)
Dance. Fall over both feet and everybody else's.
Get enough courage up to go to a hairdresser.
Wash up. Easier to just get more plates from a Charity shop than try to get them properly clean.
Swapped iron and board for a nice lantern 20 years ago and never replaced them as could never work out how to put the board up or use the iron on a temperature that didn't cremate all our clothes or just leave them wrinkled.

Love this thread!

Mashed potato - it has to be a metal masher with squiggles not squares. Knob of butter and tiny dash of milk when part mashed. Then give it a quick whip with a fork. Mmm.

PatricksRum · 10/09/2019 05:33

Use a knife and fork to cut food up

Sockypuppet · 10/09/2019 06:11

I never learned to skate or ski!

ThePolishWombat · 10/09/2019 06:55

Oh I’ve definitely found my people Grin You lot sound as crap at basic adulting as me and I love you for it Grin

I also have a special set of house-plant murdering skills Confused The only thing I’ve managed to not kill is a little tiny novelty cactus that lives on my kitchen window sill. I’m assuming it gets just enough water from odd splash of the tap when it gets turned on too aggressively because I’ve never actively watered it, and have had it a couple of years!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 10/09/2019 07:20

I am very reassured that it’s not just me who found Bingo stressful. Grin
My friend was also doing it on the IPad thing and still managed to mess up. The IPad told her to shout but it was a ‘false claim’ and it was all very embarrassing.
I cannot see how it is in any way enjoyable.

sailingclosetothewind · 10/09/2019 07:27

Sew anything, not even a button!

DinosApple · 10/09/2019 07:27

I've never put air in my tyres.

I could put the spare on... I think. (Probably not to DH's satisfaction though.)

Worse though... I used to own and work in a tyre business BlushBlushBlush

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