Feel so fucking miserable today!

[MiddleAgedMiserableCow]

I feel so fucking miserable today and tearful!

Just returned from holiday but now got ear infection and bad back. House is a fucking tip. Can't face going back to work tomorrow. DC1 about to move to different city for new job and DC2 will return to uni soon. Miss them so much when not here. Sex life going downhill because of DH's health problems/medication.

Cheer me up please!

I feel like my life is empty nest without even a shag!

So I was single, and met a married woman, they had only recently seperated and it took we a few months before I could fully let my guard down to this woman as I've been hurt in the past. She is an amazing has already got kids and seem to live a great life but things just not have been that way. We both had ups and downs I didn't know where I stood but we would both just come together. We both know how important it is that kids live in a stable environment and that the relationship with their father continues. However things become complicated as we found out that she was pregnant, I have always wanted to be involved and willing to help in any way, but ever since the pregnancy I've been allowed to two scans and the ex, who is still the husband has become so much more involved than I anticipated, so much so that things have been bought for the baby, I've tried not to object, but I always thought of having my first child that even under these circumstances we would buy things together, I've allowed her to control the situation in fear of upsetting however seems that is all I do. I've not been able to move out from my parents home as there have been delays. I'm not rich but can get by and always offered to try pay towards but it is declined which is frustration. I don't really know what I am doing as I'm a first time father but feel that I might never do so in this case as I've been frozen out. What I understood to be love and a possible relationship has seemed to disappear. I understand it was not wise to get involved with marriages and I tried my best to be logically but love doesn't act that way. I care about her and her kids and the baby that is about to be, I even care about the husband in trying to make this all work for all the children.

This all seems so overwhelming that I really don't know where to turn. I can't speak to my mum as she continually tries to sabotage the relationship with the woman who is pregnant with our child, even in the past saying unkind words to her and the ex(husband) so I basically have no one to really talk to, whilst I don't live with my parents it's still belongs to them where I live and live alone. It doesn't seem appropriate for me to move in with her as it's the husbands house and wouldn't move in unless I could buy him out, but again I don't have that means of income to do so. She is now due very soon and doesn't look like I'll be able to be at the birth but the husband I understand will be, i don't even know how I should feel about that, as I just want both her and the baby to be healthy.

Timeinabottle19 you need to start your own thread

Just found that option and posted, thank you

Middle that sounds really hard my dc are young but it already feels really strange to imagine them leaving home it must be difficult. Can you plan something fun for you and dh to do together and look forward to? Activities/ meals out/ holidays will all be cheaper with just you two and might make you appreciate the benefits of having time for yourselves and your relationship now. Maybe you can get dh to give you a massage or something so you can still be close even if you're not going all the way atm.

OP - phone in sick tomorrow and get down to GP for something for the ear infection. Get GP to sign you off for a few days with either the infection or the bad back (work won't do your back any favours.)

Get the DCs to help tidy the house - no doubt much of the mess will be theirs!

Forget cooking. Get a nice takeaway.

Console yourself about your DCs' departure with the thought that the house will be so much cleaner and tidier and it really isn't long till Christmas and they'll be back!

Is your DH's medication long term? There are other ways to have a satisfying sex life that the usual if he's finding it a bit challenging.